Posts by JWinSF

37

For those who've left - any regrets?

by starfish422 in

jw
friends

i left almost nine years ago at age 18; my only real regret was that i was good friends with a young brother and i never said goodbye to him, or even let him know that i was planning to leave (had to leave my parents' home secretly while they were at the meeting one sunday; they had such a hold over me that i could never have stood up to them and told them beforehand).

.

i have no other regrets about leaving; i'm am now happily agnostic and so thankful that i found the strength to break free.. anyone have any similar regrets?

JWinSF

I DAd 8 years ago. I've not regretted it. The "friends" that I lost I still consider as my friends, even though they won't have anything to do with me. I'd be there if the need came up for assistance [except financial, Dubz have been known to go to anyone for money and will rationalize going to an ex-JW --- particularly if it's a family member].

Glad to be free of the mind-control, the boring meetings, the ineffective and [for me] unpleasant field service, having to "like people" in the Congregation that I didn't respect.

Glad to be able to reach my own conclusions on matters, not what some lame-brains in Brooklyn dish up, be able to like people who I previously wasn't allowed to like, free to do what I want, when I want, with people that I want to be around.

One doesn't really realize the stangle-hold the religion has until separated from it and finally look at it from a dispassionate, critical, observing frame of mind. Then, one sees that the "Emperor's clothes" for what they are.

37

Bethel's gay Neighbors

by metatron in

jw
friends

i don't think i've ever seen the subject come up here.

or on the old h2o site but many of you foreign types.

may not be aware that brookyln bethel has been.

JWinSF

Regarding the homophobe actually being a closet case in the movie. Well, there have been studies that have proven exactly that. Extreme homophobic reactions are sometimes [1] the desire to throw others off track that the person really is homosexual and/or [2] a deeply seated inner hate of one's homosexuality.

Here is one study: http://www.westom.com/coolsite/penis_01.htm

37

Bethel's gay Neighbors

by metatron in

jw
friends

i don't think i've ever seen the subject come up here.

or on the old h2o site but many of you foreign types.

may not be aware that brookyln bethel has been.

JWinSF

Can't speak about Brooklyn Heights in the 80's, as I'd not been there at that time. But, in the mid to late 90's, I'd visited several times, including visiting a gay ex-JW friend who lived only a couple blocks from the main headquarters. I never saw the "aggressive" behavior spoken of. Even in Greenwich Village, only certain areas [i.e., specific bars, or near the River] had what I'd call "aggressive" behavior. And even then, I'd hardly call it aggressive as people who went to those areas KNEW that they were looking for someone of the same sex and not for mere chit-chat.

20

Suicides within Jehovah's Witnesses

by Leander in

jw
friends

over the past 3-4 years i've been hearing about a number of suicides that have been committed by jws.

whats even more interesting is that all of the individuals were male and they all had some form of a privileged position in the congregation.

(regular pioneer, elder, minsterial servant, etc..).

JWinSF

At our first annual conference of "A Common Bond" [ACB], we held a Memorial for all the JWs who'd committed suicide. It started because a few of us on an email chat group mentioned we'd known someone. Then others said they'd known someone. Etc., etc., etc.

During the session, the question was asked how many knew someone [JW] who'd committed suicide. Virtually everyone in the group [about 60] raised their hand. Then, it was asked how many contemplated suicide. As I recall, about half raised their hand [self included]. The final question was how many actually attempted it. About 10% had. Pretty sobering statistics. I don't think that if you asked this of another religious group that you'd get such a high incidence of suicidal tendencies.

As a side note, while ACB is a gay/lesbian/bi focused group, the question regarding whether or not we'd known someone who committed suicide was not focused on gay/lesbian/bi JWs. I personally knew a young woman who was straight who committed suicide. And, another one, also straight, who'd actually attempted it at least twice while I was part of the Congregation.

So much for "Jehovah's Happy People".

32

Jehovah Won't Hear Your Prayers!

by Smoldering Wick in

jw
friends

i decided to make a new thread instead of posting my response on the old one .

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?d=22330&site=3&page=2 .

sf asked:.

JWinSF

Hi Smoldering Wick,

I really enjoyed your post. The sad thing is, that the type of "uplifting talk" that the Elder provided you when you visited his home is all too frequently the norm. After leaving the JWs I was able for the first time to realize that they are just about the most judgmental of any of "Christian" religions. Smug, arrogant, Pharisees. Funny, I prayed several very specific prayers to Jehovah regarding whether I should stay in the religion or leave it. The answers all came out to leave it. So, so much for their sanctimonius preaching that only those remaining within the Organization get their prayers heard by God.

11

Should Blair Plead To Bush For Brit's Life?

by Englishman in

jw
friends

here's the story:.

the us supreme court has denied the final appeal of tracy housel, the british national on death row in georgia.

housel could now be executed as early as next month.

JWinSF

I'm not against the death penalty per se. But, I am generally not in favor of how it's handled in the USA. When someone outright confesses that they did the act, I don't really have remorse for them. When it's a conviction based on circumstantial evidence and no eyewitnesses, I have a big problem with it. They've screwed up before to only after the execution discover the real killer.

Now, in this case, it seems a bit muddled to me. Whereas he did admit to the murder, it appears to me to have some valid questions regarding his mental capacity. That should've been explored. The fact that they had a goon of a lawyer who'd never handled a murder trial is another problem. And, not wishing to upset any residents of Georgia on this, but the State doesn't exactly have a sterling record when it comes to fair trials. From past news clips that I've seen, it's only a safe State to be in if you are [1] white, [2] male, [3] a US citizen, [4] a religious fundamentalist [but not a JW fundamentalist --- the fundies hate them], and [5] straight. Knock any one of those criteria out and you can pretty well kiss your ass goodbye regarding any serious legal problems.

I remember visiting Atlanta about 5 years ago and the racial divide was so overwhelmingly apparent. It made me sick. It's nowhere near the cutting edge on gay rights. It's one State I don't really have a desire to visit [although I have several friends who live there and want me to come out and visit], let alone live in.

I say "yes", have Blair intervene. If it's then proven by a fair re-trial that he's really guilty not by reason of insanity, then I don't really have a problem with the execution. However, if it is proven that he does have a mental problem that was not within his control allowing him to commit the murder without really knowing what was happening, then I'm in favor of just locking him up for life.

11

do jw charge for lit in other countries

by meomy in

jw
friends

i enjoy reading all your posts.

i have been lurking for months .

i was hoping that someone could tell me if we currently charge for literature in other countries or is it free like in the u.s. (just for voluntary contributions.

JWinSF

As far as I know, they do charge for literature in other countries. They stopped charging for lit in the USA when they got into a court case and jumped into bed with Jerry Falwell. Seems they were going to lose their tax exempt status unless they did it on a contribution basis. When this happened shortly before my leaving the Dubz, the promo BS that was given to us was that it was more in keeping with Jehovah's "received free, give free" principle as stated by Jesus. Seems that only those in the USA, then, were judged worthy of receiving the lit on a voluntary basis. Another nail in the coffin of Watchtower Lies.

33

discussion w/ Barbara G. Harrison today

by Dogpatch in

jw
friends

i just got off the phone with author barbara grizzuti harrison (visions of glory; italian days, etc.

) who is currently living in brooklyn and has serious health problems.

she is now 67, but is very mentally alert and still has an excellent sense of humor!

JWinSF

Great that you were able to speak with her. A friend of mine had told me about her book. I put a bid on a website and got an excellent, hard bound, unabridged edition. It was fabulous. I shared key parts of it at one of our annual ACB conferences. It was so wonderful to get a woman's perspective, so overlooked in the JWs, of what goes on. Also, how even though the events were from the 50s, they were still timeless, e.g., "the more things change, the more they stay the same".

6

Self Insuring

by joelbear in

jw
friends

does anyone here know anything about insurance?.

i plan to go on cobra for 18 months after i leave work and am in school.. will i have to find fulltime work after that to avoid meeting preexisting conditions wait periods on an individual health plan?

i have received differing answers.

JWinSF

Hi Joel,

It really depends upon the health insurance plan. Some individual plans will not insure you at all if you exceed a specified number of pre-existing conditions. Apparently, however, some states require insurance companies to issue private plans even with pre-existing conditions if the applicant has not exceeded a specified lapse in insurance. Here's a link where I found that: http://www.stretcher.com/stories/990111b.cfm

So, check with individual companies now, before you're off of COBRA. The company that you have under COBRA may even do a conversion to a private plan as well. I'd check into that, too.

8

Self defeating feelings

by joelbear in

jw
friends

remember that calculus test i thought i failed and which panicked me into suicidal thoughts.

i made an 89 on it.. will i ever conquer my self defeating anxiety?

time will tell.. i can't erase the past, all i can work on is the future.. one thing i have found out is how many people are going through tough times.

JWinSF

Hi Joel,

Glad you did so well. I really screwed up on calculus in school. The first course I managed a C, however, the next course I took went down to a D. It was an elective for me, so I could "see the writing on the wall" and didn't take a third course which could've been an E. Funny, I'm very logical and am very good at math, however, calculus just through me for a loop. So, "my hat's off to you".

BTW, if you get any suicidal thoughts again, think of what Joan River's said [this helped me when I was often in suicidal thought mode as a JW and the few times it recurred after leaving the JWs --- usually when some important part of my life just didn't seem to be working correctly]: "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." The problem always goes away, usually in a matter of a week or two at most.

Keep hangin' in!