Posts by ABibleStudent

26

I am DF'd and a JW sister called me to tell me she wants to leave

by KateWild in

one of my dear loved ones called me.

she knows i am df'd and she wanted to reach out to me.

she fell away for a few years, and when she came back i had a study with her before she became active again.

ABibleStudent

HI KateWild, DITTO what other posters have written about listen to your friend first and then show her what may help her. Collect a smorgasbord of information that you can email her and/or show her after you learn what she wants. Also, do not under estimate the power of BITE control, so help your friend to realize that she is now empowered to live her life to her full potential and that she has many options to choose from.

IMHO your friend probably feels disillusioned with the WTBTS and feels worthless and possibly stupid. To help your friend overcome those feelings, I would recommend that you show her How Big is the Phenomenon of Undue Influence? (2:01) and Strategic Interactive Approach explained 2003 (1:23:23). You need to be there when she watches those videos to help her to feel good about herself.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

63

First Post...Hi everyone! Thanks for all of your help over the years!

by stuckinarut2 in

jw
friends

well... as they say on talk back radio "i'm a long time listener, first time caller"(poster in this case!).

i have been a "lurker" for several years, but never had the courage to take the step and join up...until now.. i really want to thank everyone for their insights and comments throughout the forum.

although i have not contibuted to discussions, i have benefitted very much from all of your comments and observations on all topics.

ABibleStudent

stuckinarut2 - I know that there is well known expresion that "those who fail to plan, plan to fail", but I cant work out what to do yet...but through this forum I see that I am not alone, and that is a positive step forward so far...

Hi stuckinarut2, Plans can be simple, specific, detailed, and/or complex. The simple and specific plans seem to be easier to execute.

The follwoing is a simple and specific plan:

Vent on JWN to reduce your frustrations as well as ask members for specific advice to help you to help JW family and friends how to critically think for themselves.
Research the WTBTS history and changes in doctrines by visiting reputable websites like www.jwfacts.com, www.watchtowerdocuments.com, etc. and reading books by Raymond Franz (i.e., "Crisis of Conscience" and "In Search of Christian Freedom") and Don Cameron ("Captive of a Concept").
Research how to overcome BITE control techniques by visiting reputable websites like www.freedomofmind.com, reading books by Steve Hassan (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs"), and watching Steve Hassan's FREE videos on his website.
Learn how to ask simple questions of JWs like in the exJW Psychology 102--How to Ask a Question When Questions Aren't Allowed by Billy the Ex-Bethelite to help your JW family and friends to critically think for themselves.
Get more education/training to qualify for a better paying career. (Provides an excuse for missing more meetings.)
Learn how to help JWs to stop using thought-stopping platitudes, such as "They are imperfect men . . . ", "Where else will we go?", etc.
Invite your JW family and friends to attend fun outings where they can meet more non-JWs who they share common interests.
Help your JW family and friends to become involved in more time consuming hobbies so that they spend less time reading WTBTS propagcanda.
Help your JW family and friends to use the internet to find cheaper and better hotels than are on the WTBTS's approved list of hotels to attend convenctions/assemblies and to improve their criticall thinking skills. (Your goal would be for JWs to view the internet is a valuable reasource to verify claims made by other people including WTBTS elders and the GB.)
If you plan to fade more painlessly, find another job in another city where you do not know any JWs.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

P.S. - Although it is best to write plans down, writing plans down does not mean that you cannot change them as circumstances change.

3

Something to consider when revealing WT history to your JW and a funny story

by Jon Preston in

new things to add to our fade (wife and i).

first, we just attended a gathering sunday with a bunch of jws.

it all went as you would suspect--met a kid i imagine is gay but his friends just claim hes very sheltered, typical monitoring of music to make sure nothing bad was on, prayer to jehovah giving thanks for the latest wt article, and a mother complaining about some adults having an alcoholic beverage and how wrong it was at this type of gathering.... but what tops it off is what my daughter said to a brother near the end of the day.. she has a toy she brought and played with the whole time since there werent many iids her age there.

ABibleStudent

Hi Jon Preston, Until your wife stops using thought-stopping platitudes like "they were imperfect, but still the best people out there and closest to the truth", it won't matter how many times you prove that the WTBTS's leaders make mistakes.

How would your wife respond to something like the following?

"How many and what kinds of mistakes would the WTBTS need to make for you to become so skeptical of the WTBTS that you would stop making excuses for it? How come the GB/elders are imprefect men, but I would be shunned and you would be marked for not blindly following the WTBTS doctrines such as allowing our daugther to have fun by going to a birthday party? Although I enjoy spending time with our JW friends, how are they better than our non-JW family and friends who will not shun use for allowing our daughter to attend a birthday party.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

26

Critical Thinking from the Wife !!

by TTATTelder in

the other day i had a couple of drinks and went off on the gb (again), about how they are just posturing and have no clue.

i said if they knew what they were talking about we would already be in the new world, but we're not ..so they dont...the end.. well i got some push back as would be expected, but what surprised me was what she said a little later.

firstly she didn't pay attention to the public talk this past sunday and instead read an article in a watchtower on stress.

ABibleStudent

Hi TTATTelder, You should encourage by complimenting her for thinking of something that had not crossed your mind and asking what inspired her to think of that.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

54

Lies taught by the GB about ....Life, Worldy people & apostates

by williamhconley in

the governing body not only lies to it's members about their true history but also about life itself, worldly people and former members.. here are some of those lies that come to my mind.. .

"jw's are the happiest people on earth" -.

fact: depression, anxiety, fear of punishment, paranoia, is what jw's live with every day.

ABibleStudent

Great post williamhconley. Very comprehensive list of deceptions by the WTBTS leadership.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

18

Help, got JW in home....need details on how to answer question

by skeeter1 in

jw
friends

"the world is much worse off today then yesterday .

.

i know the basic answers, but give me some more ammunition.

ABibleStudent

Hi skeeter1, Ask s/he why s/he thinks that "THe world is much worse off today then yesterday . . . ". Ask s/he if she would rather be alive 100 years ago without electric refrigerators/washers/dryers, smart phones, color TVs, satelite weather, entertainment systems, modern cars, airplanes, internet, computers, etc. Ask s/he what it would take to prove that the world is not worse today than yesterday.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

44

Newcomers to TTATT: Beware of "New Study Mode"!

by Londo111 in

jw
friends

weve all heard it.

a person starts studying with jehovahs witnesses and love what they are learning so much that they cant stop talking about it.

bubbling with enthusiasm, they spill everything they are learning with their friends and family...or anybody who will listen.

ABibleStudent

IMHO it is best to extensively research the WTBTS's (and, when applicable, other dangerous cult's) history, doctrines, and BITE control techniques before helping people to critically think for themselves.

Cognitive dissonance is difficult to overcome, because people like to feel special and unique, and do not like to feel stupid. Dangerous cults like to love-bomb new recruits to make them feel special and unique, so it is best to tell new recruits about TTATT before the love bombing overcomes all skepticism and to tell old members after they have been whipped too much by the leaders.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

54

Hello, I am new

by LillyC in

jw
friends

i am not a jehovah's witness but i am very interested, i have many questions and hope they can be answered here.. i do believe in god, privately.

i do say my prayers daily and do believe god helps me in countless ways.

but i don't go to any church.. i have always been impressed at how smart, polite and nice jehovah's witnesses are and i always make time to speak to them when they call at my door.

ABibleStudent

Welcome LillyC, A BIG DITTO what other posters wrote about visiting www.jwfacts.com before you study with JWs.

Also, please visit Steve Hassan's website www.freedomofmind.com and watch the following three videos: Randy Watters, ex Jehovah's Witness elder August 2012 (26:43), How Big is the Phenomenon of Undue Influence? (2:01), and Strategic Interactive Approach explained 2003 (1:23:23). Steve Hassan is a cult-exit counselor and is a former Moonie.

The WTBTS is for people who do not want to critically think for oneself, blindly follow what WTBTS elders tell you to do, do not want to acquire more education to qualify for a well-paid career, support an organization that is more interested in protecting pedophiles more than children, will love-bomb you before you get baptized and pressure one to do more for the organization after, and like to shun/mark other JW friends and family who express differences with WTBTS's doctrines.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

41

Discussion with some elders

by GoUnion in

hello everyone just wanted to relate a situation that occurred a few days ago.

so i have quit going to meetings for a few months now based on some issues i have with the explanations of current doctrines.

my wife is none too happy with this but over the last few months we have had some date nights and have tentitively agreed to disagree.

ABibleStudent

Welcome GoUnion, Do what you got to do to keep yourself sane and your wife happy. Keep on venting on JWN, so that you do not "Cross the Line" and vent your real feelings to your wife until she can critically think for herself. Be patient and compassionate with your wife and only ask her simple questions and encourage her to do independent research to find answers. Please read the thread exJW Psychology 102--How to Ask a Question When Questions Aren't Allowed by Billy the Ex-Bethelite so that you can ask stealth questions to JWs.

Even though the two elders, who you talked with, sounded reasonable, it is best that you keep your real feelings to yourself and only ask simple questions with a tone of voice that indicates you are asking for their help. It is also possible that the two elders may have doubts also, but they will probably follow the WTBTS's doctrines instead of protecting you.

You should read books by cult-exit counselors to help you heal, help your wife to critically think for herself, and to better communicate with JW family and friends. I would recommend reading Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs"), visiting his website www.freedomofmind.com, and watching his FREE videos on his website. I would recommend watching Steve Hassan's How Big is the Phenomenon of Undue Influence? (2:01) and Strategic Interactive Approach explained 2003 (1:23:23).

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

6

Discussion with some elders

by GoUnion in

hello everyone just wanted to relate a situation that occurred a few days ago.

so i have quit going to meetings for a few months now based on some issues i have with the explanations of current doctrines.

my wife is none to .

ABibleStudent

Welcome GoUnion, Do what you got to do to keep yourself sane and your wife happy. Keep on venting on JWN on an iPhone, so that you do not vent your real feelings to your wife until she can critically think for herself. Be patient and compassionate with your wife and only ask her simple questions and encourage her to do independent research to find answers.

You should read books by cult-exit counselors to help you heal, help your wife to critically think for herself, and to better communicate with JW family and friends. I would recommend reading Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs"), visiting his website www.freedomofmind.com, and watching his FREE videos on his website. I would recommend watching Steve Hassan's How Big is the Phenomenon of Undue Influence? (2:01) and Strategic Interactive Approach explained 2003 (1:23:23).

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert