Welcome LennaB, DON'T GO! The elders care more about following the WTBTS's rules than what you think. Remember the GB's instructions, "Listen and blindly obey!"
Continue researching your faith, the Watchtower's history and doctrines, and what cult-exit councelors recommend to help overcome the WTBTS's BITE control that victimizes JWs. Have you read cult-exit counselor information such as Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs"), visited his website www.freedomofmind.com, and/or watched his FREE videos on his website?
Best of wishes to you.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert