I also felt the paradise earth hope was more realistic then going to heaven, a place for spirits. I have seen pictures of paradisaic surroundings that people now have and it seemed to make sense that the earth could one day be made like that.
All of my life I feared losing my beloved Mother in death, and that horrible time came in April 2000. I reread everything I could about the resurrection, but thinking I'd have to wait till towards the end of the 1.000 year reign, hundreds of years from now, to see my dear Mom, was very discouraging. And Armageddon never came, thus the new world and seeing my Mom again became further and further away. Not comforting at all. My Dad died in 2006 and I had realized that Armageddon and the new world will not come in my lifetime, if ever.
Then I discovered the tatt and lost faith in ever seeing my dear parents and other relatives ever again.
The witnesses told me when I began studying back in 1976 "you will always be a teenager' because the new world was so close and I would never grow old. Now I am 56 with no future to look forward to.
I have not been able to believe in an afterlife in heaven as there has never been any proof of it and the Bible teaches that when we die, that is it, we are dead, UNLESS Jehovah resurrects us, which I no longer believe he will do. (IF he exists).
I think those who DO believe in an afterlife in heaven feel comforted in their beleif but it is just not realistic to me. I wish it was.