Posts by kaykay

20

A Badger's Tail, Episode IV (and final)

by Badger in

episode iv: a new hope

?where are we going, man?

?i don?t know, but we gotta go.?

kaykay_mp

god, i freekin' love it.

laters

kaykay_mp

5

I GOT KIDNAPPED part 3

by kaykay_mp in

jw
friends

(this was first posted on google groups) .

well, i finally got home safe on saturday night.

my bus broke down in tn for 3 1/2 hrs.

kaykay_mp

oh oh

you're so sweet.

she's not a dub. I don't know what the hell she is. She claims to be a christian, but I see some mystic stuff around her apartment.

Oh well, I have to move on. No matter how hard it hurts.

laters

kaykay_mp

5

I GOT KIDNAPPED part 3

by kaykay_mp in

jw
friends

(this was first posted on google groups) .

well, i finally got home safe on saturday night.

my bus broke down in tn for 3 1/2 hrs.

kaykay_mp

(This was first posted on Google Groups)

Well, I finally got home safe on Saturday night. My bus broke down in TN for 3 1/2 hrs. I had such a hard time of the trip anyway, so I'm never going Greyhound again. I would have taken a train home, but my now ex-bf's mother's friends sure as hell weren't going to fork out $400 for the trip (hell, and that's one way).

I was sorta tense but also sorta calmed on the trip through TX, because obviously it was familiar to me, but all the things that I was going through with Joe during to ordeal ran through my mind. If the bus was going past some landmark or familiar building/thing/whatever, I would remember what Joe and I were talking/arguing about or what was going through my head in retrospect.

When we got to El Paso, I was relieved to see so many familiar things, but sad that Joe wasn't going to experience this with me.

I collapsed on the bed when I got home, well, after I gave my son a bath and he went to bed, because he was hella tired too. I really feared going to sleep, because Joe wasn't going to be right there in the middle of the night/when I woke up. I grabbed one of his shirts out of the hamper and put some of his deodorant on it and held it close throughout the night. When I woke up on Sunday and today, nothing felt the same. There was: no Joe making the delicious omelets, helping me with the laundry, standing my the stove vent for a cigarette and to chug a whole 2-liter of Coke, him annoying dry shaving("but baby, I took a shower a few minutes ago"), no making ppl jealous driving around in his BMW, no squeezing my hand tight at random times throughout the day, no random quickies (come on you know what those are), no him changing the station just when I was listening to a song that I really liked...I could just go on and on. The point is that though I never really took those little things for granted in the first place, I really feel that I didn't cherish them enough.

This is the e-mail that I got from his mother dated yesterday:

"Hi KuShuna, I hope you and John made it home ok. Surely a torturous
ordeal, but no more so I don't suppose than what I've gone through
myself. Do not ever contact Joe again, Kay. Never. Let that go
COMPLETELY. It's no use. He's been committed by the judge to a
hospital
for who knows how long, and it's just going to cloud the issues in his
life
if you persist in trying to be someone he can rely upon for any kind of
consolation or hope. It's pointless. So let it GO. I need you to mail
me
his cell phone, and it would be nice if you'd include the charger in
the
package with it. My address here is:

Irene xxxxx
XXXXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXX XXXX
Bridgewater, VA 22812

Thanks and my best wishes for you success in life,
and your personal happiness and security.

Love,
Irene"

and this is my reply:

"Yes we did get home ok.

I would really like to thank you and your friends for getting me home safely.

I will try to find his cell phone, but I'd really doubt that I'd find it. I only have his charger and had to clean the house anyway because the garbage hadn't been taken out in a week, so there was not a cell phone to be found. But I'll double check.

I just have one more thing to talk about. I will respect your wishes. I don't think it's really fair that I can't at least talk to him. Like a "hi", "how ya doing", "hope you're getting better", or "be strong". I won't "try to stir up any romantic notions" as you put it, because they were already there. And love is not a notion. I've been through too many things in my live to treat love as a notion.

Look, if you hate me for letting him have marijuana, just say so. I will respect you a whole lot more for it, instead of you trying to cut me off completely. If he or you would have told me about his previous mental illness before he came to El Paso, we wouldn't be in this mess right now, and Joe and I would have never visited Mexico. Please don't try to sugar-coat everything. I know you're implemental in his recovery, but if Joe wants to find me when he is definite about the direction he wants to take in his life, you can't stop him. Because the "for who knows how long" you're talking about is more than likely not going to be forever. His mind may not be at full capacity, but that doesn't mean that he has fake feelings. And underneath it all, Joe is his own person. We've been involved of and on for about four years, so this is something that you don't just "let go COMPLETELY".

And I understand you've been through this too. Hell, the things I've been through would make you weep more than a tragic opera. My drug use will never top the sexual abuse I've endured throughout my childhood. I should have been committed to a mental institution myself, because it completely drove me crazy inside. But that went on "for who knows how long", but I'm over it.

Don't think I'm going off on you, but I had to vent. I couldn't do that while I was there, because you made it seem that Joe was the only one having a problem and my life was just peachy perfect. My life is not perfect. I don't work. I go to school evenings. It will give me stress-related illnesses if I have too much on my plate at the same time. I hate having to be on Food Stamps to put food on the table. I have every creditor in business breathing down my neck to pay bills that I can't pay and for a car that is on the brink of breaking down. I couldn't even pay my Chapter 13 Bankruptcy every month...So I just let you take over, because I was not in a position to. I hurt too. I never got to say "goodbye" or "I love you" to Joe. You'll probably get to say that to him every day. I won't.

And I'm upset that you would leave your window wide open in Joe's car while my son and I were freezing. Joe didn't give me or Jean-Philippe a chance to get dressed before going to the hospital. But, again, I didn't say anything out of respect for you and what must have been running through your mind at the time. I don't blame you, if I went through what you were going through, I'd be a bit absent-minded too.

I can't sleep at night, I have to clean the house constantly/drive around/turn the radio up loud to get my mind off everything. I was getting use to Joe helping a little with everything. Of course I'm not saying he needs to come back, but I'm just showing you how I'm trying to cope with this whole ordeal myself.

I really need to get back to my errands now; and I'm starting my classes today on top of that.

So I wish you and Joe the best of happiness on his recovery. And I'll try to make it on my end as well.

Love

KuShuna Sain"

so before this gets too long, I just want to also say that I'll probably never find anyone quite like Joe, if he needs anybody, I'll be here, whether or not his mother wants him to know that.

laters
kaykay_mp

14

A Badger's Tail, Episode III

by Badger in

note: i appreciate everyone's comments, and i'll start replying to them at the end...but keep them coming!

episode iii: the badger starts digging out

?a good sailor never knows where he?s going until he gets there, and even then he?s not sure.?

kaykay_mp

great s#%t. absolutely groundbreaking...

laters

kaykay_ mp

6

Is this the future of JW parents?

by Elsewhere in

jw
friends

since the courts are saying that the wts is not responsible for child molestation that is reported to them and then covered up, will the authorities go after the parents?.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=427&e=2&u=/krfortworth/20041209/lo_krfortworth/policemotherignoredabuses.

police: mother ignored abuses.

kaykay_mp

That lady is probaly two martinis short of a cocktail party.

laters

kaykay_mp

160

Say Something Jehovah's Witnessy........

by minimus in

jw
friends

i know there's no such word as "witnessy" but this can be a fun thread.

kaykay_mp

Minimus,

There's still time to escape the snares of Babylon the Great before this System of Things comes to an end.

~~laters~~

Agape love,

~~kaykay_mp~~

Sister KuShuna Sain

3

I GOT KIDNAPPED part 1

by kaykay_mp in

jw
friends

(this was first posted on google groups).

...well, sorta.... .

my boyfriend came down to visit and possibly stay with me in el paso.. well, as you can see that didn't happen.. .

kaykay_mp

There was some questions about my sanity:

I'm not that stupid. Yes, I'm a fool for love, but Joe was not in his right mind and I had to agree with him because I didn't know what he was capable of. When we got to Virginia, that's when I found out Joe was mentally ill before this.

laters

kaykay_mp

6

I GOT KIDNAPPED part 2

by kaykay_mp in

jw
friends

(this topic was first posted on google groups) .

well, not long after we got here, everyone was glad to see us.

joe had not gotten much sleep because it was two days travel and he.

kaykay_mp

Guys, i'm back but it gets better!

I'm going home.

I wrote a short note to Joe and his mother is putting it in some belongings of his so he can read it in private.

On the part 1 thread there was some questions about my sanity:

I'm not that stupid. Yes, I'm a fool for love, but Joe was not in his right mind and I had to agree with him because I didn't know what he was capable of. When we got to Virginia, that's when I found out Joe was mentally ill before this.

laters

kaykay_mp

6

I GOT KIDNAPPED part 2

by kaykay_mp in

jw
friends

(this topic was first posted on google groups) .

well, not long after we got here, everyone was glad to see us.

joe had not gotten much sleep because it was two days travel and he.

kaykay_mp

(this topic was first posted on Google Groups)

well, not long after we got here, everyone was glad to see us
obviously.

Joe had not gotten much sleep because it was two days travel and he
refused to let me drive.

...earlier, he was showing signs that something wasn't right. i should
have never taken him to mexico to party. he was the one who bought
some *ahem* party aids.

after that he started getting psychotic. there were "ppl outside my
window ready to kidnap" me and "old boyfriends who would show up at the
door and kill" him.

i kept thinking it would wear off in a few days. it happened off and
on and we made a solemn promise not to party like that again if we
planned to have a long term committment.

...now, he started saying that his mother was a clone and someone was
going to kill me and my son, bla bla bla.

in between trying to handle him and my son, my son almost hurt himself
going down the stairs and we had to go the hospital. my god, he almost
killed us getting there. i kept telling him he was fine but i just
wanted to get him checked out, so there should be no hurry.

while we were doing that, he called the cops so he could tell his
"story" and he kept telling them that everyone he loved was dead. so
the cops contacted "everyone" so, everyone had to come to the hospital.
then we had to go downtown to get him evaluated, so now he has to stay
"overnight" with a court date set for monday.

as for me, i have to raise the money to get back to el paso so i can
start school on monday. his mother told me that he needs time to "find
himself" (which probably means i can never see him again).

i really loved him. it took me three years to find him again, but i
cant go through this, because his mother told me he is highly
suseptible to mental illness and it will keep happening because its
happened before.

i really loved him.

heartbroken
kaykay_mp

3

I GOT KIDNAPPED part 1

by kaykay_mp in

jw
friends

(this was first posted on google groups).

...well, sorta.... .

my boyfriend came down to visit and possibly stay with me in el paso.. well, as you can see that didn't happen.. .

kaykay_mp

(this was first posted on Google Groups)

...well, sorta...

My boyfriend came down to visit and possibly stay with me in El Paso.
Well, as you can see that didn't happen.

He was feeling really uncomfortable in El Paso, being that this is a
border town. And he was always kidding around about me running away
with him to his home state of Virginia.

Last night, he wanted to go for a "little" ride. We first ended up in
Fabens TX (15 mi east of El Paso). Then we fille up the gas tank. He
comes back in the car and says, "let's go to VA."

"ok, I'm all on board, but don't you think we need to go back and, oh,
uh, get diapers for Jean-Philippe (my 2 yr old), some food and other
important stuff?"

"we possibly won't be coming back."

"um, don't you think we need to get all my paperwork and notify my
landlord then."

"trust me. just trust me."

you know, in any other situation this would be considered kidnapping.
but i'm a fool for love. and i love him. it took me 3 years for us to
get back together. it would rip my heart if i lost him again.

"how are we gonna get diapers."

"trust me."

"i cant use my food stamps out of state."

"trust me."

Well, after about 30 odd hours, we're here. His mom knew we were
coming (about 6 hrs before) and is quite awkward about the situation
and i tried to tell her that i could not convince her son to turn
around and it was a pretty much lost cause, oh, about the time we got
to the end of arkansas.

now, i have to transfer schools, forward my mail, and make a special
trip to get my important stuff.

and my mom is going to be so pissed. we went through tennessee and i
couldn't get him to make a detour to go visit her and my family. now i
have to find the right time to call her and tell her everything.

laters
kaykay_mp

kaykay_mp

Posts by kaykay_mp