Posts by ReallyTrulyAthena

283

Are you sure leaving is a wise decision ?- Lurkers think twice- Part 2

by mankkeli in

in the previous thread of this series, i called lurkers attention to the need of being discreet when contemplating an exit from the jw religion.

i mentioned that the thread was borne as a result of the general observations i made reading old posts here and discussing with many ex-jws and their lives have gradually turned out.

that thread alone was visited more than 2,980 times and graced with 204 contributions.

ReallyTrulyAthena

If the OP was from a softer perspective of "Hey, lurkers - just trying to help here...when considering leaving the WT [however that leaving is defined - whether fading, DA, DF] know that it may be a tough road. Please be aware of some potential downstream impacts on your decision, as just like in MANY INSTANCES IN THIS THING WE CALL LIFE, there may be pitfalls and obstacles, you may find yourself feeling depressed, etc." - I could see this topic as worthwhile.

But no. While Mank professes not to be pro-JW, he sure acts like he is. 'Cause that's what high mind-control groups/cults do, right? With them, it's either THIS way or THAT. RIGHT or WRONG. BLACK or WHITE. There's no in-between, no nuances, no shades of grey. Well, Welcome to the Human Race and to Real Life, man...where there are all sorts of ups/downs/side-ways and in-betweens. You act as if staying in the borg is sunshine and roses. It's NOT. Yes, there are happy people there, decent marriages, good association. Not all is bad amongst the general rank and file JW. But on the outside of the JWs, whether theist/atheist/flyin' spaghetti monster believin' - it's the same thing! Not everything in life is ponies and rainbows, but there are happy people, marriages, smiling faces. Maybe it was a tough road to get there, but it was worth it.

Life is what you make it! And it's not always easy! But it's worth it when you live your truth and live with a sense of dignity and integrity. Funny how I found MORE of that outside the WTBTS, not in. I'm DF'd...so perhaps I don't really have a voice in this particular conversation as this is geared towards those who are lurking and considering an exit...but this website helped firm my resolve to stay out as I was having doubts (and yes, I was missing my family.) Often-times, it saved my sanity and helped me hang on another day. But here is where I really learned the truth about the truth. It helped me feel better to know that all those quiet doubts I about the religion, even as a child, were things others had gone thru as well. I found solace that I "wasn't the only one feelin' like this" and read/learned from others. Yes, there are many heartbreaking tales...but often inter-twined are tales of courage and strength and breaking out to the Other Side, towards unconditional love, happiness and freedom. I can not and will not accept conditional love. I also would not stay in a JW marriage where I was physically/mentally/emotionally abused. I was ready to take my own life, while in the JWs, and after I was DF'd. But I stayed on the road "out", not falling for the emotional twisting my family brought to me in their attempts to get me back in. And here I am.

So, is it tough "out here"? Sure! There's lots of days of hardship and unhappiness. But again....LIFE is tough! You act like it's a JW-centered experience, and that leaving the borg is a SIN, a bad choice, a no-no...all so we can stay, just to please others.

You may choose to twist my response as me merely having a tantrum or holding on to anger/venting against the JWs. It's really towards the black and white OP and what I perceive to be black and white behavior from you. Mind you - I have my days, my moments...just like everyone else. But mostly, you know what? I'm alive. Not just surviving. I'm happier. I can hold my head high. I have FREEDOM. And no one can take that away from me. Don't ask me for stats or more "hows" either, pretty please with a ripped-up copy of an unread WT on top.

There's a price to everything in life. It's up to the individuals to weigh their own, personal decision to leave and determine "how" they want to do that. If they stay, that's their choice as well. Who are we to say?

Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.
Abraham Lincoln

I bid you good day. With that said, I think I'll go and look at the beautiful world outside...

~ RTA

36

What will you be having for Xmas dinner?

by Pams girl in

jw
friends

im getting rather excited!

its only 8 weeks away!

this year, for the 1st time in 6 years, we are having a proper xmas.

ReallyTrulyAthena

Paula, your X-Mas dinner sounds absolutely GREAT! Just in case a few stray folk show up at your table this year, it may be me and hubby. You have such a kind heart and soul to be bringing plates of yummy food to a few elderly folk in your neighborhood.

Hubby is of Serbian descent, so the past few X-Mas dinners have been heaping portions of sarma (minced meat and rice rolled up into cabbage and then baked) and then a baked bread called "pogaca" (or polozajnik - I may have mangled the spelling). A silver coin or dime is baked inside the bread and good luck is brought to the one who finds it. All of this is then topped off with a nice Port....ahhhhhh, sheer bliss.

I love Christmas!

But first...I will love Thanksgiving. Hee hee.

~ RTA

27

Film: In Darkness -- History of Jehovah's Witnesses WT Bible & Tract Society

by leavingwt in

jw
friends

.

if you've never seen this one-hour film, it's pretty interesting.. .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diz_7uj-fo0.

ReallyTrulyAthena

Thanks for posting this! I'd forgotten about this video, but talk about powerful. I remember supplying the link to my counselor several years back so that he could get a feel for the WTBTS and what sort of environment we were in.

Out of my counselor's many bits of feedback to me, I'll never forget one of his responses, "There's all sorts of abuse out there. This in particular is very nuanced and subtle, but just as traumatic: spiritual abuse."

~ RTA

65

Here is the funeral talk outline. VERY discraceful.

by stillstuckcruz in

this is truly terrible.

i just love the statement "instead of eulogizing the deceased, use the material in this outline to give a fine witness concerning the truth.

" in other words, utterly disregard the deceased.

ReallyTrulyAthena

Utterly dehumanizing and deplorable. As others have said, it's one big informercial for them. They think this is a "fine witness"? Show some frickin' humanity!

I'm half tempted to start making out my Last Will and Testament now should something like this happens to me. Seriously. No way in hell am I going to be eulogized in this fashion or my memories desecrated. Call me stubborn and prideful if you will, but there comes a time when you just have to say "enough".

Hear, hear. I'm in serious consideration of this as well. I told my hubby (who was never a JW) that I will NOT have my family do anything like this to me and want this put into my Will. Perhaps I'm stubborn, prideful, who knows what, but the WTBTS had exerted control too much already in my life. Cremate me, hold a small ceremony and toss my ashes into the ocean. And then PLEASE, celebrate my life! Have a party! But my JW family will have no part of my funeral arrangements. Not that we currently talk all that much anyhow, what with me putting my foot down last year to their continued advances of "just come back to being a JW and we'll love you again" nonsense. So, it might be a moot point to putting a big "HELL NO" in my Will at this point, but ya never know.

Hubby says that should family ever try to pull some nonsense like this, he'll "give them a fine witness", as he has a few choice words in mind. LOL! I'm sure he will.

~ RTA

32

ex-witness to atheist

by Itsallwrong in

hey all i was a witness most of my life in the lansing area of michigan.

i've glanced at online communities like this before but mostly shyed away from them because after leaving the organization i became an atheist.

i'm not ashamed of it by any means, but these forums and websites seem to be mostly filled with folks who are still religious but just don't agree with the governing body's methods.

ReallyTrulyAthena

Welcome, Itsallwrong! I love this board - for many reasons, and mostly because there's a little bit of everything and everyone here! The discussions are lively, as you've probably seen, and there's so much to learn.

It took a while to find my identity, which is always morphing of course.

AK - Jeff's thought resonates for me. As an ex-JW, I find myself leaning more towards atheism. I'm skeptical, I'm not sure, I'm curious, and so I continue to research/read/try to educate myself. I suppose I'm more of a freethinker, were I to try and put a label on it. In the meantime, my identity and belief system also continue to "morph". Truly, it's the process and the journey (and the sheer freedom involved) that I find exciting ... and revel in.

Peace!

~ RTA

6

A story of True Love-Make sure you have kleenex handy...

by ohiocowboy in

jw
friends

here is a story of a couple who were married for 72 years, and died just an hour apart while holding hands.

true love can still be found!.

here.

ReallyTrulyAthena

Thank you for sharing, ohiocowboy! Ohhhhhhh! What a beautifully sweet and wonderful love story. I was wiping tears from my eyes...

~ RTA

40

can i vent? ....

by talesin in

jw
friends

okay,,, my cat was in a fight last weekend ... new cat on the block,, 2 drs away, territorial stuff .... .

twice, she saw the vet last week, and has two puncture wounds,,, one near her eye ... .

she was fine when i took her to see the doc on saturday, but now, her eye is infected again.. .

ReallyTrulyAthena

Hi talesin - positive NRG and light and lots of love for you n' kitteh! Hugs to you both!

life w/out kitty is no life at all ... fuzzy princesses! :)

I agree with this sentiment....x1,000.

Here's my "princess", Mei Mei, or as we also call her 'round thissa here parts: The Empress.

We "saved" her from a local pet shelter, all scrawny and yowly and what-not. And now? She's a spoiled rotten brat. We've created a "monster"...LOL.

~ RTA

Edited to add: I'm so sorry, how self-centered of me (and where are my manners?), posting about my cat. Would you post a picture of your sweet Blue, pretty please with a sprig of catnip on top?

15

"Doom Now Awaits Them...They Will Not Survive Armageddon!"

by Franklin Massey in

jw
friends

here's a nice, positive, uplifting song from the jehovah's witnesses' "sing to jehovah" song book.

my favorite part is at 1:30.

ReallyTrulyAthena

slimboyfat - I had to go dig up the older song book that was published in 1984, as I had no recollection of singing these particular words either.

Turns out it was previously Song 171 -- uh huh...the words were changed. Franklin Massey - if I were still attending and came to that part of the song, I would have stopped singing, too.

~ RTA

73

C.O. Jonsson's response to Watchtower's latest 607 articles

by wannabefree in

http://kristenfrihet.se/vtsvar/vtsvar1.pdf.

(thanks to augustin for bringing this to our attention in another thread.

).

ReallyTrulyAthena

Marking.

105

I've lurked a long time: JW's produce some of the most paranoid humans

by Unlearn in

jw
friends

i'll keep this brief for now.. long time lurker (4 years or so).. born-in, elder, used on district level (last talk i gave before i left was the baptisimal talk), and lots of hard time put in...before i finally made the move to split.

it's a long stoy, much like many of yours...but with it's own little interesting twists.

more details in the future, perhaps.. as i said, ive lurked here for a while.. its funny: for a long time i'd only come on late at night.

ReallyTrulyAthena

Welcome, Unlearn! First of all, don't be sorry. Not one bit. Share away! I look forward to future posts from you.

Nice to meet you all. Thanks to many of you for circling around my flickering flame and protecting it for years...even when you didn't know I was there.
You didn't even know you were aiding-&-abetting in the act of saving what was left of my life.

Nice to meet you, too. Like many other long-time lurkers who finally joined and started to post here at the wonderfully wild & woolly JWN, I too felt a sense of gratitude towards those here who "aided & abetted in the act of saving my life". I've learned a LOT here and what is "the truth about the Truth". It truly is a place of gathering, of like and dislike, of here and there -- and yet, it all is all good.

...the layers keep coming off. I expect they will forever. When you're long-time born-in...it's a process that I believe never ends.

Born-in here. It's a continuing process for me, too. DF'd for 20 years to boot. Just when I think I've peeled away all the layers, when I'm finally "done"...I find more layers below. But I keep plugging away. To share one of my favorite quotes: "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.' "

Love & friendship to you

~ RTA