Posts by justbreathe825

92

Dating a JW for 3 yrs

by justbreathe825 in

my bf and i are thinking on getting married.

i posted a foum early this week on whether or not i should get baptized.

i decided not to.. now even though he says he "doesn't care" he got upset last night when i mentioned the subject and how confused i was.

ok sorry, I have to correct myself...he didn't say "evil plan" (he definitely didn't use those words)but he certainly made it sounds like it. He just said I planned this to put him in a situation where he has to confront his parents about his believes...yeah I guess I hate him so much and his parents that I plotted against him :S

92

Dating a JW for 3 yrs

by justbreathe825 in

my bf and i are thinking on getting married.

i posted a foum early this week on whether or not i should get baptized.

i decided not to.. now even though he says he "doesn't care" he got upset last night when i mentioned the subject and how confused i was.

justbreathe825

Dear all,

I just came back from lunch and what it was supposed to be a "hello" phone call became a nightmare. he was pissed off. he accused me of setting up this evil plan so he had to confront his parents and take sides. Then he wrote me an e-mail and here is some parts that really hurt me not only as a person but as a girlfriend that loves her boyfriend and would never intentinally want to put him against his family or hurt him in any way:

"You may think you just wrote an email stating your feelings but it implicitly involved me and my beliefs too and thats all going to have to be discussed via many conversation with different parties and that is NOT what I want to be doing right now."

"In my opinion, which I believe very strongly, is that you counter passion with APATHY***. But the ball is already rolling I guess and I don't really want to see my parents or anyone right now ##### I feel stressed at all times while I'm awake thinking about stuff ###### and that sucks"

***referring to not bringing up his doubts about the organization (because he has many)

Its such a therapy to come back here and be able to talk to you guys that understand what I am going through

92

Dating a JW for 3 yrs

by justbreathe825 in

my bf and i are thinking on getting married.

i posted a foum early this week on whether or not i should get baptized.

i decided not to.. now even though he says he "doesn't care" he got upset last night when i mentioned the subject and how confused i was.

justbreathe825

1Robinella I felt particulary drawn by your post. You mentioned: "I am happy to hear that your standing up for yourself and do not let him guilt you into anything."

It makes me feel a lot better to know I am doing something good. And yes, you are absolutely right about the guilt. A couple of times when I asked him what he thought his parents would do if I decided not to get baptized he said: "well it all comes down to how much you care about the person, like how much are u willing to sacrifice, I think is worth it to do all this and remain close to them, but you might not think the same" . In other words he's telling me if I don't get baptized is becasue I don't think my relationship with his parents is important? I just don't know what to say to that.

I feel a big relieve every time I read one of your comments. It makes every tiny drop of guilt come out of my system. And it certainly I have stop believing I am "mean" and 'selfish".

10

Why can't JW receive blood

by justbreathe825 in

i told the sister, i don't want to study anymore.

she asked me why:.

i would never shun my mother for smoking.

justbreathe825

leavingwt always to the point!

Haha jookhead u r so funny

thanks for the links pirata I am going to make sure I read them all b4 I approach her on sunday.

92

Dating a JW for 3 yrs

by justbreathe825 in

my bf and i are thinking on getting married.

i posted a foum early this week on whether or not i should get baptized.

i decided not to.. now even though he says he "doesn't care" he got upset last night when i mentioned the subject and how confused i was.

justbreathe825

You are all so right....but yet when you love someone

we r supposed to have a talk tonight...I am ready to tell him that when we have a family i won't let my kids step in a kh. i don't want them exposed to all that brainwashing.

If he agrees...great althought there would be a chance that he's just lying to shut me up.

if he doesn't i think i have to break it off...that would be a sign of his committment and expecting his family's committment to the religion just to please his parents...which would be pathetic.

388

I HATE this religion

by brotherdan in

so today was my first sunday meeting that i didn't go with my wife.

as an update she has decided not to move out right now...because she doesn't have anywhere to go.

but she is giving me the silent treatment.

justbreathe825

Dear brotherdan, I just wanted to tell you you are a wonderful human being. It must be hard to realize that the love your wife has for you is conditional but I guess at least is good to know is nothing personal...is not just her...is the millions of witnesses in the world and the thousands of people going to the meetigns just to keep their families together.So many people that have been brainwashed since they were kids.

I really feel for you and will keep you in my prayers. I was never a witness so I can't exactly relate to your pain...but I do understand what you are going through.

And you are a great father and I really admire you for sacrificing so much for your kids happiness.

92

Dating a JW for 3 yrs

by justbreathe825 in

my bf and i are thinking on getting married.

i posted a foum early this week on whether or not i should get baptized.

i decided not to.. now even though he says he "doesn't care" he got upset last night when i mentioned the subject and how confused i was.

justbreathe825

thank you all for your support.It is certainly a tough position. I am 25 and don't ocnsider myself very social...so if i was to break my relationship I would be afraid to be alone. I wrote an e-mail o my bfs parents this mornign expressing my concerns and explaining them why I wont continue with my studies. His dad reply to me with a long e-mail telling me how Jehoha loves me and if I pray he will streghten me. One of the things I mentioned is blood transfusion and how I would never put someone's life at risk...he said there's very few cases when ppl die that mostly Jehovah saves them. Ok this makes no sense to me...but I feel so pressured into continuing my studies and getting baptized...Lastly he told me this:

"Finally, let me assure you our relationship with you has not changed. We love you and want to see you progress in the truth. We are hear to encourage both of you always and we will remain ever hopeful that you get past these bumps in the road and keep striving to please God! "

What a huge feeling of guilt I would have if I don't get baptized...why did I get into this...I wish my boyfriend would have warned me! I should have known when he waited almost 2 years to tell his parents about me :( before that I was in the d/l and mostly I was depressed...but of course he had no problem having pre-marital sex :0 and even now he lives a "double" life and I don't want to be part of it. I just want him to be honest, sincere to love me and support me the way I love and support him.

His ex warned me once and told me she broke up with him because after almost 4 years of being together he wouldn't tell his parents (she was also a non JW that went to meetigns n was studyin) she told me he was waiting for her to get baptized...i thought I was different nd he wouldn't do that to me. Now she's married with a kid...and I am still here waiting for something good to happen.

Thank you everyone you guys are awesome. I am sorry you went through so much but at the same time I am happy to have found you and be able to better understand this religion and its members.

92

Dating a JW for 3 yrs

by justbreathe825 in

my bf and i are thinking on getting married.

i posted a foum early this week on whether or not i should get baptized.

i decided not to.. now even though he says he "doesn't care" he got upset last night when i mentioned the subject and how confused i was.

justbreathe825

My bf and I are thinking on getting married. I posted a foum early this week on whether or not I should get baptized. I decided not to.

Now even though he says he "doesn't care" he got upset last night when I mentioned the subject and how confused I was. I am concern that his parents won't be as close to me as they are so far. W e have a very close relationship and my bf has pretty much told me it won't be the same.

Last night he said somehting like...we'll you wanted to be close to their non-religious side and they want you to be religious in order to be close to you so you both loose. But I said I don't care about their non-religious/religious side...I don't care what they do in that aspect I just want to be close to them. he also said well you dont want to do it then you won't have a relationship with them (but he said it in a threatening way). I asked him if he would take my side once we get married if his parents give me the cold shoulder...and if he agrees our kids shouldn't be forced to go to the meetings and get baptized...he got upset and said well you can't force them NOT to go...is their own decision. The he concluded by saying...are you telling me you would you want me to not have a relationship with my parents if they don't have one with you? Now, he spends about 3-4 days a week at their house so can u tell they r close?

I am so afraid..sometimes I think this is all a scam and once we get married he's going to pressure me into getting baptized and when we have kids he's going to pressure them...somehow even though he says he doesn't believe in many of the things they teach...I still feel he has his heart set in that religion and he's planning to be a very active witness just to please his parents...for the rest of our lives.

10

Why can't JW receive blood

by justbreathe825 in

i told the sister, i don't want to study anymore.

she asked me why:.

i would never shun my mother for smoking.

justbreathe825

I told the sister, I don't want to study anymore. She asked me why:

I would never shun my mother for smoking

I would never put someone's life at risk for not getting a blood transfusion.

I don't think it makes sense to celebrate anniversaries and not birthdays!

She wrote me a long e-mail telling me to prayfully give some thought to reconsidering ending my bible studie.

I will meet her next week and just listen to what she has to say...

Why do JW can't donate/accept blood? I read there's a specific component of blood they are allow to take? which doesn't make any sense bacsue why would you be willing to take when you are forbidded to donate blood?

What's the reasoning behind shunning???

And why for can't they celebrate birthdays if is nothing more than an anniversary of your life??

I am pretty sure I am not going to hear the end of it with me leaving the studies...all the ppl I am going to dissappoint specially my boyfriend's family (who are the only reason why I started all this) but it seems that even going to the meetings and studyins is not even good enough...my bf's dad wants updates on my study pretty much every week and I pl where alreday being encouraged to attend the ministerial school and go out on service!!

this whole thing is exhausting

16

To be or not to be

by justbreathe825 in

jw
friends

my bf is one of jw mainly to please his parents, since he doesn't believe half the stuff they preach.

now i'v been going to the meetings for over 2 years partly because is pretty much the only way i'd get his parents approval.

i am in the process of studying the bible to become baptized.

justbreathe825

Wow, I really didn't think I was going to get so much feedback...thanks everyone.

I decided I won't get baptized (can you tell how indecisive I am. I had a "talk" with my bf last night and he got upset at the beginning told me "do whatever you want" with a big attitude but then after he told me he understands...and anyway that would be the only way I could possibly raise a normal family since I wouldn't have to be attached to ridicoulos rules. He said my relationship with his family will change...but hey as much as I love them (and they currently love me) if things change is their decision. if they want to give me the cold shoulder it will only probe their love was conditional, right?

My poor boyfriend...he missed out on so many things during his childhood and all because of this so called "religion" I am not letting that happen with my "future" family.

Thank you all for your support and advice!!!!!!!!!!!

On a side not I txted my study last night asking her what would happen if I want to celbrate birthdays and she said she wants to talk about it in person...that she wants to show me what the Bible says...I am going to be nice enough to listen but also will put and end to this. I don't mind the meetings but I certainly don't want to waste my time on this study since is going to get nowhere.