Don't fear the pie!!! LOL As for research, simple observation done by me .... thus the end comment that always reads ...
My thought
Dragon
kenpodragon
JoinedPosts by kenpodragon
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12
Defending friends online
by kenpodragon inover the time i have been coming to message board, i have seen something happen time and time again and even been part of it myself.
it is called, defending friends online.
in so doing, i can honesty say that every time i did it, i felt i was right and had the correct motives to do so.
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12
Defending friends online
by kenpodragon inover the time i have been coming to message board, i have seen something happen time and time again and even been part of it myself.
it is called, defending friends online.
in so doing, i can honesty say that every time i did it, i felt i was right and had the correct motives to do so.
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kenpodragon
That's why everyone should make an effort to "not forsake meeting w/each other", or however that goes
I think it would be cool to meet people from boards. What I find though, is that most people live a long long way from me. I guess hickville is just a little to isolated at times.
My thought
Dragon
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12
Defending friends online
by kenpodragon inover the time i have been coming to message board, i have seen something happen time and time again and even been part of it myself.
it is called, defending friends online.
in so doing, i can honesty say that every time i did it, i felt i was right and had the correct motives to do so.
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kenpodragon
Over the time I have been coming to message board, I have seen something happen time and time again and even been part of it myself. It is called, defending friends online. In so doing, I can honesty say that every time I did it, I felt I was right and had the correct motives to do so. The thing is, and this is something I have learned from watching others as well. It often comes at a price to our online creditability, and I was wondering why.
You see online, as many people have mentioned, we only see a small percentage of who someone really is. Thus, to make comment like, "I do not like you" or "I think you are ....... " can often be more insulting then upbuilding. As we know people do not really see us, for who we really are.
To me, it is impossible for anyone to know anyone on here or any message board, more then maybe 10%, if they limit their interaction to only reading post. So others take the step of e-mailing, speaking to each other on the phone and even meeting in person. Which I think is great. Yet, to those that didn't, that person may still only be the 10% that we can see from reading their post. Take this chart for example.
Chart A
This entire pie represent us. The small 10% section is what people know of us online. Yet to them that 10% looks like this.
Chart B
So, even though we are someone else as a whole. We are only seen by the online attitude we have shown online. So why do I mention this?
Because more time then I could ever count, I have seen people make comments like this on message boards, when someone they know beyond the board is attacked or accused of something.
"That is not them at all"
"You are wrong, they are nothing like that"
"They are not even close to what you are saying, in fact they are completely different."Which is true, and the comments made about them might be way off from who they really are. Yet how can people expect us to know the whole person, the way they do, when we only see Chart B? Who, from reading their post, can be someone who comes across as shy, or rude, or arrogant, or slutty, or angry, or intelligent. When in reality, away from the board, we could be someone who is nothing like what people think of us. So we end up in a dilemma, which is.
That one person ends up defending Chart A, while everyone else is upset with Chart B. So what happens, basically we get this division line of people who think the other side is wrong and thinks the other side is out to do something sinister or against them. In the end, it cause small to large flame wars and basically causes people to get offended or upset over things said about their friends.
It all comes down to what I have said many times on message boards, "perspective." What you see from where you stand, may be no where near what another person sees. Yet from your viewpoint, that is all you have to go with. So like any human being, you assume that you must be right and stand your ground to attack or defend, depending on the circumstances. In the end, no one agrees, people get upset and offended and people all forget that not everyone knows everyone as well as we think we do.
So basically, we are all 10%ers. We see very little of each other, for the most part. We think we know each other well, because this is all we have to go with and for those who have gone farther in communication. These boards can seem more frustrating and confusing at times, then we ever thought possible. Unless we remember one thing,
"People can only form an opinion with the information they are given."
So if you have more information, enlighten the board or feel privileged that life has allowed you to be able to see someone for more then these boards permit. You are learning, we are all learning and in time HOPEFULLY, we will learn enough to put things into a form of perspective that finds balance.
My thought
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1
Raiders of the lost life
by kenpodragon init was a morning like any other morning.
she was beautiful and i could not take my eyes off of her.
she seemed upset and quickly began to speak, "i need your help.
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kenpodragon
It was a morning like any other morning. I was sitting at my desk, when into the room came this woman. She was beautiful and I could not take my eyes off of her. She seemed upset and quickly began to speak, "I need your help." I thought to myself, "what could this woman need me for, she could have anything she wants, with looks like that." Yet she seemed more and more upset and I thought we better talk more and find out what was wrong. It seemed that she had something taken away from here that she wanted back. It was something she never appreciated as much until it was gone. She said that a group took it from her and then tried to use it against her when she was down and distraught. I could hardly listen to the details, as I wanted to immediately go after these people and teach them a thing or two about how you treat people. Especially, I might add, a woman of such beauty. She finally got to the end of her account and I had to ask, "what exactly is it they have taken and used against you?" She sobbed a little and then turned to me and said, "they took my whole life, from the time I was born, to the moment I left them a few weeks ago." She then paused a moment and asked, "can you get it back for me?" I thought about it for a moment and then decided, "I will do my best." She left me some information and a map to where they were storing her life and how they had it locked away. It seemed to be locked behind a vale of lies and half truths. So it looked like I had my work cut out for me. Before I set off on my journey, I had to get a few things together. I needed some common sense, some logic and as much information as I could carry. With all of these things collected, I was on my way to see if I could find the life this woman had taken from her. The journey was not easy, the whole time I was looking over my shoulder and positive that someone was following me. I would run into people in suits and holding magazines on every street corner, and constantly they were attacking me with thoughts of "this will solve your problems" and "listen to me, I have the answer." If it wasn't for my whip of common sense, I would have never been able to get them to back away. Soon though I was at the location of where my beautiful friends life was locked away. It looked plan enough. Just four walls and some writing on the outside, saying what it was. The people were all going in with smiles and the kids seemed dressed so nice, when compared to the children I had seen in my own life. Yet I remembered the valuable logic I had packed away, that said "if something looks to good to be true, it probably is." So I entered the building, where people were all singing and listening to men talking from the stage. I was dodging bullets of scriptures and handshakes at every corner. I knew these people were going to be a challenge, but this was something far more dangerous then I expected. I needed extra strength, not to loss my own life in an effort to get someone else's. It seemed like the journey was taking forever, the natives of this building were not being very open with information. Their language was also very hard to understand. It seemed like they were using words I should know, yet they seemed to have other meanings inside these walls. Soon though I saw it, my beautiful friends life. It was wrapped up in these people that claimed to be family members of hers. They were sitting in the corner, among a tribe of other members who seemed to be holding other people's lives, as well. I set down and spoke to them about my friend and the life they taken from her, but they seemed to have my words on mute. At several moments, I wanted to load my gun with information and blow them all away. Yet I knew, if I took their life on accident, then I would be hurting my friend who needed hers back, even more. By several hours into my journey I was so tired from the battle of information. That I could not do anything other then admit defeat. These natives had set up a trap, that no one could break free from. I tried logic, common sense and information. Yet in the end, her life was still left where I found it. I felt like it was something I was burdened to admit, and I wished I could have returned with more success. Finally the day came and she entered into my life once again, and asked if I had the life she had had taken away from her. I set down and felt as if the whole world of what she felt was coming down upon me. I looked her in the eyes and spoke, "I tried and I tried, but those people are the most controlled people I have ever met. No weapon worked, no method helped and in the end I had to return with nothing." She seemed to take it pretty well and smiled. I set confused, "you are okay with this?" She just smiled again, and then she spoke to me in a more upbeat tone then I expected, "yes, I am. You see, when I sent you to get my old life and I was thinking of all the time I lost. I suddenly realized when you mentioned all the things you had to do, just to get in. That I was not in need of that life anymore. It was time to find a new one that would could not be taken away, one that I did not have to feel controlled under and unhappy with." She then smiled some more, "so, while you were gone. I decided to go shopping, and I found that there was a whole world of lives to choose from that were even better then the one I lost and I took it upon myself to buy the one I always wanted. So you see, it took seeing what someone else needed to do, to get my old life back. To see how little value, it really was." I set there thinking about what she said, and what I had seen in my journey to help her. And I realized, "she is right!" Yet I also wished that I had asked at the beginning, if I was ever going to get paid for all my work and why it is that us men can be taken advantage of so easy, when a pretty girl ask us to do something. My thought Dragon
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1
Lumping people and groups together
by kenpodragon inwhen i was a witness and looked at people of the world, this is what i thought .... .
worldly : people who are not really happy, because they have no hope of paradise and they worship the devil, even though they think they are worshipping other gods.
there families are a mess and they have problems with drugs, alcohol and other addictions.. .
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kenpodragon
When I was a Witness and looked at people of the world, this is what I thought ...
Worldly : People who are not really happy, because they have no hope of Paradise and they worship the Devil, even though they think they are worshipping other Gods. There families are a mess and they have problems with drugs, alcohol and other addictions.
When I was a Witness and looked at people who were disfellowshiped, this is what I thought ...
Disfellowshiped : Lost people who are angry and unhappy. People who have turned to the worse way of life and chosen to serve the world, over serving Jehovah. Basically, free of God's spirit and lost.
It is amazing when I think about this, as I can actually remember why I felt this way. I would see something on the news and read something in the paper, and all I could think of was, "this shows that I am right!" It did not matter what I was reading or what I was watching, I could always find something to support my feelings on this matter.
For example, I was once at a parade in our town and I saw this family of people who were all looking kind of rough. They were angry and fighting and the mom was looking like someone who was abusive to her children. The kids all looked scared and unhappy, and the whole family looked like a mess. I remember turning to my wife and saying something along the lines of, "what a life without Jehovah." To which she agreed. Here is the kicker though, this was one family out of about a thousand families in attendance and I used them as an example of what "worldly" people are.
Another example, I remember waking up in the morning and looking through the newspaper. I was reading articles about how people were supporting local charities and how people were making a difference in their world and what did I notice more. I noticed that there was a riot in some Asian country, and sure enough, there I was again thinking, "what a life without Jehovah."
Perhaps it is just me, but I can not help but notice the habit I had as a Witness to lump negative things together and assume that I know enough to make a opinion on someone or one group. I was programmed to not see the positive side, or the positive moments that would mean something else or that I was wrong. I just saw the moments that supported my negative opinion of others.
Now that I am no longer a Witness and living in the real world. I realized years ago, that this habit had to stop. I started looking to crowds and seeing the troubled people and the happy people, and I have noticed that the happy people outnumber the rest. When I look in the newspaper, I take a moment to consider the positive stories and the troubling ones and I have noticed that the news reports the negative more. Not because it is so much in abundance, but because it sells better with their customers.
So when I talk to people now and I look to certain groups. I try so hard not to repeat habits of my past, which was to lump people together as one group. Especially so with Jehovah's Witnesses. I do not want to be like them and see one group as something only a few really are. I know Witnesses can be negative, judgmental and hateful. Yet they are not ALL that way. Some are positive, easy going and loving. As much as the religion bothers me, I am not going to lower myself to their level and seeing them as something they are not ALL like.
I guess it is part of life to learn from our past and apply it to our future. If we take the time to take those small pieces that were us as the past, and realize that we can make them something better as a piece to our future. By trying to see the good in people, in life and in the world. Rather then spending my whole life looking for all the things that support a negative attitude of lumping the world or organization into one unhappy group.
My thought
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20
This is a picture of my son
by kenpodragon inthis is what my son looks like.
some people here might remember me, i have not posted in about seven months or so, on this site.
i thought i would share my sons photo with everyone.. .
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kenpodragon
Thanks everyone!!!!
He was born 11/30/03 and he has been the most special thing in my life ever since. This picture is about a month old, but he looks about the same. Although he has a little thicker hair now and trying to walk. It is a blast being a parent!!!!
My thought
Dragon
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20
This is a picture of my son
by kenpodragon inthis is what my son looks like.
some people here might remember me, i have not posted in about seven months or so, on this site.
i thought i would share my sons photo with everyone.. .
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kenpodragon
This is what my son looks like. Some people here might remember me, I have not posted in about seven months or so, on this site. I thought I would share my sons photo with everyone.
My thought
Dragon
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10
No HOPE in our future????
by kenpodragon inin my witness past, i had many hopes.
they do not pass by with the thought that there will soon be hope of something better.
no, they pass into me with the hope of knowing how precious the things are that i have.
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kenpodragon
As I set at the bed side of my wife and waited for my son to be born. I could only HOPE for one thing, that he be born healthy and my wife's health remained stable and safe. When he was born, my HOPE was fulfilled in a new life that was and is my son. A healthy young man with a solid first step into this world, with two parents who HOPED for the best and got it. Our HOPES and our dreams, found fulfillment in that moment, that happens millions of times each year for parents everywhere, but only once for us.
Years ago I once set at my friends side and HOPED that cancer would not take them from this world. I HOPED that the odds would work to their advantage, and one day that they would join me in the outdoors again to fish and to feel alive among nature to the full. As I walked up to his coffin an few months later, I realized that my HOPE was not going to be fulfilled this time and thus I said, "good-bye."
In my Witness past, I had many HOPES. I HOPED for a better future, a time of paradise and no war. When people would, "live as one", as John Lennon said in the song Imagine. A time when one religion would reign and one voice of love would be heard. I pictured a garden throughout the planet, with people there to tend to it's beauty, side by side with those whom they loved and those whom they lost in death at this time in their lives. I lived for that HOPE and I dreamed about that HOPE at every moment, and especially when times were tough and challenging. Yet as I walked from that Kingdom Hall for the last time, and never looked back, that HOPE was left empty and that HOPE never found fulfillment in twenty-five years.
Now in this life I have been presented with people who claim to have new HOPES. HOPE of heaven, HOPE of Nirvana and maybe even HOPE that this life is not all there is. In all, they are nice to consider, much like the HOPES I held on to for so many years in my past. Yet in the end, they are not the HOPES I truly put before me in this life. Not the HOPES that make today, worth living through to get to tomorrow.
No, those days of living for what HOPE might occur, have passed. I do not mind considering them, thinking about them or talking about them with friends, but for me a true HOPE is something that at least seems and feels possible. A true HOPE is something we know can happen and look forward to with every breath and thought of reality. It is HOPE that my son will grow older and I will teach him such things as how to throw a baseball. A HOPE of seeing him walk at high school graduation and far down the road, a HOPE of one day holding my own grandchild and seeing in his eyes the same simple and loving HOPES I see in my sons eyes right now. For my son is not bogged down with what life's philosophies will teach him, with what life's religions will promise. No his HOPE is to get feed, to get changed and to get loved all that he can in these young and precious years.
So when my relatives that are Witnesses say, "how can you live a life without the HOPE you had before, or any HOPE at all?" I turn to them and say, "I have HOPES, HOPES beyond what you ever consider. HOPES that you take for granted and let pass, because you are to busy looking for HOPES that will never get here." I live not for the unreachable HOPES, of a religion that thinks they are right or a philosophy that answers some questions. I live for this life and the HOPES of joys to come tomorrow, next week and those that may shock me in the still undetermined future. They do not pass by with the thought that there will soon be HOPE of something better. No, they pass into me with the HOPE of knowing how precious the things are that I have.
So if it happens, and we all know it will, that your Witness relative says something to you about not having HOPE. Do not be confused into thinking, "perhaps I do not." Be strong and knowing that unlike the past. You truly do now, have the HOPE and the fulfillment of HOPES that you always wanted. They may not find their fulfillment within the hour, the week or even this year. Yet unlike the Witness HOPE of that paradise earth, your current HOPES are really out there. They may not come into fulfillment with the desired HOPES I had with my son, for life is not all about things happening the way you HOPED for. As what we think we want, is not always what we really need. Yet in the end, having real HOPE and knowing what you want from this life. Is better then losing HOPE, all together, or HOPING in the unreachable dreams of a religion's empty promises.
My all your HOPES for this life, be only moments away.
My thought
Dragon
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18
I like my pillow
by kenpodragon inwhen ever i travel to different locations around the world, or just down the highway.
i have to bring my own pillow.
it is just the right size, just the right shape and i even like the smell.
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kenpodragon
When ever I travel to different locations around the world, or just down the highway. I have to bring my own pillow. It is just the right size, just the right shape and I even like the smell. So if I try to sleep on another pillow, I end up spending a good chunk of the night tossing and turning, as I miss my real pillow. It seems so often in life, that the simple changes are often the ones that make it hardest on us to move on. I can go out this weekend and buy a new car, and I will sleep fine. I can go purchase a stereo system for the living room and again, I will sleep without missing a beat. Yet if you take away my pillow and make me take a new one, I will miss my sleep and be a grouch the next day.
Perhaps it is just that I am a man, or maybe it is that I am human, but I like what I know and feel comfortable with it at times when I am tired. I do not want to have to worry about changing something like a pillow, when all I want is to sleep after a long day. Comfort and being able to rest is important to me, and when I think about it, I think it is important to others as well.
My mother and my sister, are both Witnesses. I often sit and speak with them and they mention changes and they mention problems. Yet in all of what they say, they still seem comfortable with what they feel and at ease with what seems to work for them at this point in life. I admit, it frustrates me and it makes me want to spend time telling them all the things they do not know. Yet in the end, it is their comfort and it is the place they enjoy.
So when I see these moments and I get these frustrations, I tend now in this life, to think of the comfort of my pillow. It is fluffy and it is soft, but it is something I enjoy and feel relaxed with. I would bet that some where on this planet is a pillow I would enjoy more and there is no doubt, a pillows that would make me a happier and a more rested sleeper for the next day. Yet for now, this pillow just feels good and if I feel that way. I have to realize, that others do to.
Basically, as much as you might go through this life wanting to change people and expose the religion for what you know it is. You can never overestimate the value of comfort that the Witness religion gives to those still in and to suggest that they change, may make perfect sense to you. Yet to them, it is like taking away the one thing that gives their mind rest and their days hope. Unless you have a full proof religion or philosophy with no holes or problems, you might be better off fluffing their pillow and avoid taking it away to only replace it with a cold rock.
My thought
Dragon -
57
So, am I a phoney?
by kenpodragon ini have taken a break from the baby wait to come to the board and see what is happening.
recently i had a run in with some people from another board, that also attend this board.
in a search of my name on this site, i see that people (two weeks later) are still mentioning this and me.
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kenpodragon
Rhonda
Actually, my message was not meant for you at all. I am sorry you felt that way, I did not mean to direct it at you in any way. I felt we covered our ground and it was behind us. I am only posting in this thread and I wanted to make sure any who saw it, after I moved on, knew I meant what I said. Rhonda, this is it ... my last thought on the issue. When people turned the subject to something positive, I liked it ... At the same time, I wanted people to know this thread was not a game as some people would LOVE to think. I am sincere ... I mean it. As for my words having weight on the other boards, I don't think so. Just because I can put a phrase together, say something that means something to people, or express my views clearly. Should not make people feel like I am in control. I am just writing.
TH
I will be in Portland, Oregon in about a month or so, if you want to meet me and share a beer, that's cool with me ... I really prefer a face-to-face chat. I am not much into talking on the phone, when people call I hand it to my wife. I could never expect all people to feel I am sincere, SOME people really hate me. It was two weeks since I posted those things on Beyond and people were still talking about me, even though I had not said anything and avoided even looking at Ex-Jw boards in that time. I am not a leader of anything, and my thoughts should not matter that much. I really wish a apology could be enough, but if it is not with you TH ... I don't know what else I could do. I am sorry my words hurt you that deep, I mean that. Before I left two weeks ago, people were calling me a abuser for saying I was sorry (Isn't that sick?). I hope people would be more loving then that, but what can I do ... do I need to donate blood or an organ? If people are set on hating me, nothing is going to change that. I hope that is not the case with you, but my life has taught me time and time again "you can not please everyone."
Donkey
Thanks for clearing that up, and again to EVERYONE ... e-mail Simon if you are still in doubt.
In all, I meant what I said on this thread. I am checking out of the boards and leaving it to people who want to argue. I am not even planning to return to any Ex-Jw boards, this thread was meant to stand for any who wish to continue hating me after I left. Boards are words, thoughts and comments. Away from the key board is the people I truly need to worry and care about. Those are the people that need me to be all I can. That is where my energies in life need to be directed.
In all I do my best to correct in myself what I see as old traits, and I am spending my life focusing on the me I want so much to be. I feel I am a good person, and if others feel different. They have that right, but they really no nothing about me.
Peace and love to all. This is the last post from me, and I want people to know I enjoyed my time on Ex-Jw boards and I am sorry I had to make my last post a apology for taking things to far. As some know I shut off all e-mail contact with me two weeks ago, and that will stand. This page of my life is turning to another. I am SINCERELY SORRY for offending people and being a source of hate for people to dwell on. Feel comfort in knowing that I now a shadow of your past, you will not need to see again. I wish all nothing but the best, peace and love in the mind, comfort for your heart and joy for all the days you have ahead.
May all your paths be lite with the love and comfort you wish others would show you, and be full of the desires of your heart to seek a better life.
My last thought
Dragon
PS : I will not return as another online name (If you must accuse, at least check with Simon first). As a matter of fact, I am e-mailing Simon after this post to close my account. I will not return to read follow-up, or to post information about my future child. I am truly DONE!
The End
Edited by - kenpodragon on 27 November 2002 13:47:37