Posts by kenpodragon

they collided with the rocks with a mix of violence exploded into the beauty of white water, that burst into a mist that produced the colors of the rainbow as it disperse the light of our sun, all in the glimpse of one moment.

one moment in time, that i witnessed in only just this first step on to the beach, imagine what the other ones were going to find.

kenpodragon

As I stepped onto the sand of the beach I looked to the west and saw waves crashing over the distant rocks. They collided with the rocks with a mix of violence exploded into the beauty of white water, that burst into a mist that produced the colors of the rainbow as it disperse the light of our sun, all in the glimpse of one moment. One moment in time, that I witnessed in only just this first step on to the beach, imagine what the other ones were going to find. Then there were times that I climbed the higher peaks, looked over the cliff to see the canopy of the trees spread before me like a blanket quilted into the land below. With spots of green, where the trees staked out their life. Squares of blue water, where the water broke up my site. All caught in one smell that touched my senses, and told me that I was sitting at the edge of many lives, that culminated in one beautiful site. All of these things inspire me with words, and visions of thought. Yet never in my time in the Witness religion, did I find inspiration in their mundane thoughts. You would think that learning about the person who was suppose to be the creator of life. The person who was the maker of the beauties that make up our day. That I would have found moments in the meetings or times when I was reading a magazine or book. That I would have found some inspiration to say something deep, or to allow my mind to create on something that inspired me from their words. For some reason, and I believe there are many, the Watchtower publications just never inspired me. They never made me find that inner happiness that my mind enjoys, with finding thoughts to go with moments and finding meaning to the over all show that is this life. I would sit in meetings, listen to all the words delivered by the speakers. They would quote this scripture and that thought. They would deliver instruction and insight, and they would show us all the many reasons why what they said was right. Yet as I set in that chair and watched, no lights went off in my head. I did not hear their words and travel in my mind along some rainbow of color that lead to a distance meadow of peace and tranquility. I did not read their words, and think about standing before a beautiful sunset that lit the clouds with its red, purple and orange beams of light. No the imagination was replaced, the inspiration was stifled. With what, you might wonder when you see me today blending so many thoughts into one point. They were taken away with fear, they were controlled with busy work of always having something or someone else to do the thinking for me. They were destroyed by the lack of appreciation for anything that was not written by the society. Would a artist paint a piece of art, only to have it hang in a closet to never be viewed. Would a author record the deep moment of a flower opening it's peddles to the rising sun, only to have his thoughts considered trivial. No, and thus in the Kingdom Halls as I set there with those friends of my past. I wondered how much untapped talent lies at the door of this building, with no inspiration to ignite their life. I would say that the stain of lost talent is rubbed deep into the minds of those who sit and listen to the words of the speakers, who read all of the Watchtowers and Awakes. They are but a candle with no match, that sits stored deep in some corner of the closet of their mind. Never to be used to light some dark moment, never to be brought forth to show others the light it can share. So as I visit Ex-Jw boards and share some thoughts. I think it is like lighting a fire work into the air of my life and seeing what will appear. I wonder though, since your own personal exit from the Jehovah's Witnesses, have you considered exploring the creative sides of your life that you never had a chance at before. Are there artist among us, people who write poems, sculptures or even those who simple go to a moment of beauty and actually hear the inspiration that life sometimes floats to us in the wind. I ask, as I noticed something about my own life, and I wonder if others have as well. That is that, "the world gained more colors in the last few years, the words gained more meaning ... for inspiration to better and broader things is in the freedom we breath." My thought Dragon

45

I married a stranger, did you?

by kenpodragon in

jw
friends

in my current life i know a lot of people who live together.

some of them might have done this because they do not like marriage, and others have done this as a step towards getting married.

in all, in my post-witness life i find that i have no problem with either view.

kenpodragon

Brandy

My mom was df'ed when we were married, but back in now. My son's name will be Logan.

Take Care

Dragon

19

Are WE Going To War?

by Perry in

jw
friends

are we going to war?

whom shall we fight?

living in a city with four military bases allows me to hear rumors through the grape vine about military involvement.

kenpodragon

I guess that almost makes us a muslim state huh?

Simon

You should look into that, I have heard that Tony Blair is getting very worried with the influx of Muslims into England. They currently make up 30% of you population, according to the recent research.

My thought

Dragon

45

I married a stranger, did you?

by kenpodragon in

jw
friends

in my current life i know a lot of people who live together.

some of them might have done this because they do not like marriage, and others have done this as a step towards getting married.

in all, in my post-witness life i find that i have no problem with either view.

kenpodragon

I would never be a good submissive JW wife

One thing I enjoy about our relationship is that my wife has never been that way, "submissive." We tried to do that, but our life is 50/50 now and sometimes I think it is 70/30 with me having the 30. She just lets me think it is 50/50.

My thought

Dragon

45

I married a stranger, did you?

by kenpodragon in

jw
friends

in my current life i know a lot of people who live together.

some of them might have done this because they do not like marriage, and others have done this as a step towards getting married.

in all, in my post-witness life i find that i have no problem with either view.

kenpodragon

Sorry guys, all this time on this web site and I still have issues.

Nothing to be sorry about. I know I was fortunate in what happened with me. I know a lot did not work out, and thus I do not think there is any perfect way to start and keep a good marriage. You have to find out who and what fits you and for some that might be a life long search.

My thought

Dragon

22

How were you perceived .............. as a jw

by A Paduan in

jw
friends

.

as a continuation of minimus' thread.. how do you think people perceived you - when you were a jw?

kenpodragon

Two words ...

"Self-Righteous"

... I don't know that person anymore.

My thought

Dragon

45

I married a stranger, did you?

by kenpodragon in

jw
friends

in my current life i know a lot of people who live together.

some of them might have done this because they do not like marriage, and others have done this as a step towards getting married.

in all, in my post-witness life i find that i have no problem with either view.

kenpodragon

In my current life I know a lot of people who live together. Some of them might have done this because they do not like marriage, and others have done this as a step towards getting married. In all, in my post-Witness life I find that I have no problem with either view. With one in two marriages failing, and seeing elderly people who stayed together because they did not want a scandal in their youth. I think that this modern generation is wise is doing what ever suits them to make a relationship work. Although, what brought me and my wife to our current point in the relationship. Would be considered odd by today's thinking, and yet for some odd reason it worked for us. There might be others who will relate to this as well. When I was about 22 I went to a different book study one night and met a young woman. I did not know her well, but we talked and got to know each other a little. It was only a couple of weeks later, and someone invited me over to a "get together" and she was there too. We talked more and soon we found that we wanted to date, it was not much longer and everyone knew we were a couple. Two months later, being the typical manner of a Witness life we were engaged, and then nine months from the time of that book study we were married. Two strangers saying "I do" in front of a lot of people neither one of us even knew. When most people marry someone they normally know all about them, well at least something about them. I can honestly say, that when my wife married me and I married her. We honestly moved in with two complete strangers in love. We talked more and we joked, we traveled and we learned more about our likes and our dislikes. We attended every one of those meetings, Pioneered, and traveled to all of those conventions. We were the couple everyone wanted to have over to their house. We studied the Bible, and read all of Watchtower and Awakes. We still were getting to know each other though, and some times things were not the peaches in creams people thought went on in our house. You can not have two people who met only nine months before they say "I do" know what drives the other one nuts, or what makes them upset. Yet like all things in life, you bounce from one day to the next. Your padding of knowledge in each others views makes your love stronger, and you days even better. Yet for the most part by the end of year one, I would say we were both still strangers. Why would I say such a thing, even though by that time we had spent so many hours talking and preaching? Well the years they went so fast and we learned so much and did so many things. We Pioneered, and I was in a positions of congregation authority. We were the pillar of strength that others thought they should model their life after, "two strangers in love" yet never knowing what was missing. Then one day when three years had passed in our marriage days. I come into the living room after a meeting, and set with my wife and said, "there is something I need to tell you." My wife had that serious look on her face, worried about what that something might be. Well I laid it all out, how I no longer believed this religion and I wanted to change my life and get out of there. I told her she could stay in if she wanted, that I would never stop her or hurt her. I just said it like it was, "I am gone, and their is no turning back from here." My wife was quiet for a minute and then stood up and walked out of the room. I set thinking that she might be crying or struggling with my thoughts. Then she came back with a trash bag in hand, looked me in the face and said, "thank God you said it first, now lets throw away all these stupid books." We took the books to the dumpster, every single one of them that night. I set there that evening thinking, "we are no longer strangers in love, but now we are people who could really learn each others true meaning." Now I would never be one to say, that every step I took from that day was the best. No, we made many mistakes and did things in the thought of "freedom at last", but I will say one thing in sitting here six years later, with our first baby only a month away. I know that for me nine months might seem to short before marriage, and I know for many that was a huge mistake. The thing is, some times we think we are married a stranger. Yet years later we learn we married someone just like us. We just needed to find "us" first before we realize we knew "them" better then we ever thought. "I might have married a stranger, but I live today with my best friend" My thought Dragon

Edited by - kenpodragon on 20 October 2002 17:58:37

35

How Are You Percieved By People???

by minimus in

jw
friends

do you think that you are easy to get along with?

are you judgemental?

are you positive?

kenpodragon

"We are a reflection of the love others shine on us, yet only a shadow of what is inside."

My thought

Dragon