Hi Deserving,
Thanks for posting your experience with us. In answer to your question, I have seen many go through those feelings that you have explained in your conversion steps as a Mormon.
These feelings usually come to us sometimes triggered by the attention that your are getting from meeting new friends. Sometimes receiving their acceptance, encouragment, cheering us on has a enjoyable effect. It's sometimes called the honeymoon stage. You know what happens next.
Next comes the bills, the loss of attention, the stories that people told you about are starting to seem true, reality....BOOM. The sparks start to dissapear. Oh, Oh. The realization that this is not paradise, this is another third world country.
But, Deserving....don't feel bad about taking meds. Some have to take meds. Many of my friends take meds. I know they don't make you feel 100%, but they do help.