Posts by pbrow

19

How did our parents do it?

by pbrow in

how did you bury your head in the sand when something didnt seem right but you forced this religion on your kids anyway?

i was a born in, my mother was a convert.

ill admit, before i had kids i suppressed doubts and thought "this is as close as it gets to the truth" as soon as i had kids and realized that i now had to teach this garbage to my kids w/out really believing it was enough to get me to realize the cognitive dissonance stops here.

pbrow

morbin and ann, not sure how its misleading, I was a born in of a single mother. I have asked the same questions of my mother and she doesnt have a real good answer although she is waking up as well.

I am definately in the "just get out" program. It is what I have done and its working fairly well... ask me again in 10 to 15 years. I think it works the best. I understand some of the reasons fof people who stay in, my mother is one of them. To me having kids means having to teach them, and having to teach them means I cant just skate by anymore and I had better learn why I believe what I believe. That is my point. There is some confusion when you just quit cold turkey. If you teach any of this stuff to your kids you are making it normal to them. I am probably just going through the progression of completely ridding myself of being raised a dub. I am not trying to be judgemental. Please know that being raised as a JW has an enormous effect on kids. Every meeting, every assembly are all geared towards shaping and molding these kids minds. I dont want anyone, the least of all my children, to have to wait until their mid 30's to realize its all a scam.

Hey, blues, I think having children actually saved me! I think its so true that religion is something that when your surrounded by it you have no other perspective and at least for me when I had children it forced me to really have to answer the difficult questions that are usually just answered "wait on Jehovah" by the dubs.

pbrow

19

How did our parents do it?

by pbrow in

how did you bury your head in the sand when something didnt seem right but you forced this religion on your kids anyway?

i was a born in, my mother was a convert.

ill admit, before i had kids i suppressed doubts and thought "this is as close as it gets to the truth" as soon as i had kids and realized that i now had to teach this garbage to my kids w/out really believing it was enough to get me to realize the cognitive dissonance stops here.

pbrow

lol, yeah, thats what I was looking for!

pbrow

19

How did our parents do it?

by pbrow in

how did you bury your head in the sand when something didnt seem right but you forced this religion on your kids anyway?

i was a born in, my mother was a convert.

ill admit, before i had kids i suppressed doubts and thought "this is as close as it gets to the truth" as soon as i had kids and realized that i now had to teach this garbage to my kids w/out really believing it was enough to get me to realize the cognitive dissonance stops here.

pbrow

Parents.... How did you put your kids through this religion? How did you bury your head in the sand when something didnt seem right but you forced this religion on your kids anyway? I was a born in, my mother was a convert. Ill admit, before I had kids I suppressed doubts and thought "this is as close as it gets to the truth" As soon as I had kids and realized that I now had to teach this garbage to my kids w/out really believing it was enough to get me to realize the cognitive dissonance stops here. What I want to know from any of you out there is how the f*ck did you allow yourself to continue to see what you saw and still teach this crap to your kids? I liken it to the @$$holes in india or africa who allow their six year old daughters to get married because they dont want the daughters to shame them by getting raped. I get the "born in, the way its always been done" line of reasoning. But when you actually have a child, you actually have a living, breathing, beautiful daughter what in god's name doesnt make you wake the eff up and say "I will not allow my daughter to get married at six"

No birthdays because it is putting children before god? No extra curriculars because it takes time away from god? No voting for city council because your choosing your alderman over god? No blood during an emergency c section because its putting your childs life above god? Wake the eff up parents and get your gets the hell out!

pbrow

48

Why are so many JWs and exJWs unaware of the New World Order and the World Goverment?

by Infowarrior in

why are so many jehovahs witnesses and escpecially ex-jws so unaware and ignorant of the new world order and the world goverment?

and is the watchtower a part of the new world order and the world goverment under the united nations and the vatican?

my rrsearch says this is the case.

pbrow

What in human history shows you that a one world government could ever happen? The books of history are littered with men who have tried to take over the world and ALL have not only failed but failed miserably! Put your aluminum foil hat back on and crawl under your bridge.... wait... didnt Building 7 have a bridge?????

pbrow

85

Hello--new to the witnesses...and you

by LKM in

jw
friends

just wanted to introduce myself.

i went to the kh for the first time 2 weeks ago...and will go again tomorrow.

i don't believe anything witnessy...(i was raised in the assembly of god church and now the closest thing i "do" with religion is yoga or sometimes the buddhist temple).... but the man i'm in love with is a df'd jw (we've been together for 6 years).... and he wants to get reinstated just to talk to his family again (i can assure you he does not believe it).... and he wants his family to accept me because we are about to get married... so, i'm going to meetings...its very interesting, but only because it shows me more about how he was raised.

pbrow

lkm,

I dont know any other way to say this. Your boyfriend needs to man up for his children. If you in any way pretend that the dubs are the normal way of life you will have an extremely difficult time in your future. He needs to sacrifice his past friendships and family contacts for the emotional well being of his future, his kids, you. Do you want your kids around people that think that you are a mistake??!! I dont mean to be extreme but you are dealing with a fundamentalist religion. You can deal with it. Your boyfriend can deal with it. Your children's mindset and how they see the world are being formed right now, with the help of the Jehovahs Witnesses. As long as they are in contact with Jehovah's Witnessess the bubble will be present. Burst the bubble!! Get them involved in as many things as possible. You will be amazed how quickly your children will reject the JW bubble when you and your boyfriend are not pretending that you are in! Let the kids see you take a stand instead of just "fading" Fading has its place but its not when you have children being raised in the religion.

Think about it from your kids perspective. Show them that you are willing to make a stand!! Fading when you have kids still associated with the "society" is the wrong move. Make his family loosen their rigid stance when it comes to shunning if they want to have contact with their grandkids. Its harsh but it is the best way if you have kids inside. Remember, your number one goal is to make sure the kids do not get baptized into this religion. I am speaking with passion because this is exactly what I am dealing with now.

I wish you the best.

pbrow

85

Hello--new to the witnesses...and you

by LKM in

jw
friends

just wanted to introduce myself.

i went to the kh for the first time 2 weeks ago...and will go again tomorrow.

i don't believe anything witnessy...(i was raised in the assembly of god church and now the closest thing i "do" with religion is yoga or sometimes the buddhist temple).... but the man i'm in love with is a df'd jw (we've been together for 6 years).... and he wants to get reinstated just to talk to his family again (i can assure you he does not believe it).... and he wants his family to accept me because we are about to get married... so, i'm going to meetings...its very interesting, but only because it shows me more about how he was raised.

pbrow

lkm,

Ill tell you what I tell everyone who is out but has kids in the "truth" with an ex or believing mate. You cannot afford to go back in and fade if you have kids that are in. You cannot afford to pretend that the witness way of life is the normal way of life. Your children will suffer if you go back in and then fade. Get your kids involved in sports, school activities and anything else you can think of. Show your children that a normal, balanced approach to life is better than the bubble that the wintesses try to raise their children in. If you go in and fade, then birthdays are still evil, christmas is still evil, saying bless you is still evil, sports are still evil. If you question whether they are evil you are right back to square one. So dont go back, show your kids first hand that these things are not evil by allowing them to participate in as many as possible. Give them the proper balance and critical thinking skills and the other parent and effed up meetings will do the rest to destroy the bubble. Meetings can serve a purpose, if your kids are getting the proper balance then the meetings will actually help you. Believe me it works!!

pbrow

26

My teen daughter is being pressured to get baptized :(

by lola-rabbit in

my oldest teenage daughter (15) is a publisher and goes to all meetings with her father (we divorced, he picks her up).

i try to get her more involved in school and to spend more time with friends outside the congregation.

i'm to the point where i'm going to simply forbid it and send her off to collage early!

pbrow

hey lola,

I think you are on the right track with trying to get her involved with school activities and friends outside of the org. I would keep focused on the positive things like debate, sports, student council and all the other opportunities that you can. If you can help pop the witness bubble I think kids will not choose to be baptized in the religion.

It is not my intent for this to be judgemental towards you lola, maybe just as a word of precaution to those going through a similar situation. My take is if you have young children and a spouse or ex-spouse that is a beleiver you CANNOT fade! If you fade, you make the JW life normal and as a former born-in, let me tell you that is what makes it so hard to get out when your older. Get fully out! I agree with biblestudent, do birthdays, christmas and show her that these things are about family traditions, not 3000 year old pagan customs. Get out and let your kids see first hand the power that personal conviction can have. My goal is that my kids will not choose to be baptized members. That goal is worth more than losing any friendship or family members (and I have lost them) that I had in the organization. If you play defensive and sit on the wall and hide your true feelings you are showing your kids (at least for the time being) that the JW life IS the normal life.

pbrow

6

Disassociation Question ?

by smiddy in

my querry is : if you disassociate yourself from a congregation,do they send you a letter confirming this action ?

and if not, and it`s read out at a meeting that you took this action are you able to get confirmation that you actually did this ?.

i know this may sound silly, but i dont recall doing this many years ago,as has been recently claimed by someone i contacted.. smiddy.

pbrow

smiddy,

i da'd myself within the past year. I handed my letter to a long time elder friend. He tried to give me the speech "whenever you are ready to come back" and I simply told him I was never coming back. That was the only confirmation I received. I have a mother who is still in and all they did was innocently tell the congregation that i was "no longer a witness"

pbrow

15

Amber Alerts???

by KingDavidwasframed in

http://tommygunzrlz.wordpress.com/2011/09/08/amber-alert/.

why can't we have aa's for our kids?.

pbrow

King, do you live in the same area as your children? What kind of custody/placement do you have with them?

King, you have my sympathies. I cannot help but get anxious just readying your story and thinking of mine. King, I think your situation is exactly the reason why we as fathers need to not "fade out" or slowly remove ourselves from this group. Anyone that is in a similar situation, you need to get out and show your children, especially your young children a normal life. Birthdays, Christmas, sports, band, dancing, whatever. Give them a normal life and the witness way of life becomes much harder for them to accept. I was a born in as well and when all you ever here is that birthdays are all about putting your self above all others and god, oh and by the way, they cut christians heads off at birthdays, that is going to make sense. But when you let them celebrate birthdays and show that that is not what birthdays are about they have a reference point to counter the witness reasoning.

I understand that people want to keep family contacts in place but if you have small kids I feel that fading is extremely dangerous. You are in essence making the dub way of life normal, which is easy when they are small, but the real pressure mounts when they are teens and above. Thats when the pressure to stop associating with the apostates will start to mount.

Parents with young children.... get our for your kids!! If you value your relationship with your children, past present and future then there is NOTHING more important that keeping your kids out of this group.

pbrow

17

IT BOILS ME!! (Venting)

by pubtruth in

well my uncle just called me and told me he was visiting tomorrow, asking about family and such.

good, no objection to that.

he asked to put mom on the phone, so i did.

pbrow

Bro, your 20, get a job or two or three and gtfo! The org has a hold on you only because you allow it. At the end of the day it is really that simple

good luck, you can do it.

pbrow