When you realize that it is forbidden.... not constrained or discouraged but actually forbidden, I think your options are very limited if you are trying to reach your full potential. You need to get out. If you have kids in this organization you must actively, not passively work against it. If you have "friends" or family in and are afraid of losing those relationships then leaving is something only you can decide on.
All of us have had friends and family that we literally in one day just lost. As much as people still in think that they have true friendships, they are kidding themselves. It is not easy but it is completely worth it. I do not have to pretend I like the meetings or have to bite my tongue if I see a jw in passing. I am free to be me... in all my tobacco chewing bearded glory.
Good luck, The journey is worth it no matter how long it takes!
pbrow