I grew up in such environment (family in bigger context) where for me important persons were some in and some out (da'd, inactive, fading, nvever in). I was thought to live along JW teachings but there was no shunning or bad feelings expressed against those out. I guess I had somewhat different childhood as I was allowed to participate in bdays, christmas and easter if I wanted to with my family, but ofcourse never at home. I saw both worlds and as celebration was never considered a big secret or no-no, in time it really did not matter to me. I learned the way to be part of it without participating. Religious differencies were never aired, at least in my presence. It was more like all parties respected others right to see the world as they wanted and live by that.
Today my own family could be considered divided one. I am not out officially, but I do not participate in any form of JW activity. My wife again is in and participates in activities, not fanatically but frequently. What comes to our kids, it was ofcourse a surprise for them when I told that I will not participate in JW activities any longer with them. On the other hand it might have been easy to adapt as I was not taking them in field service for years and our meeting attendance (because of me) was not frequent. In this situation my wife made decision to stay in and get her activities back to acceptable level. We made very clear that they should not consult me things concerning JW religion but talk with their mum. We agreed with my wife that I may talk about my own relation to religion, but I will not try to oppose her attempts to learn JW religion. Whenever we discuss about deeper things (my kids are way older than yours Gary) that include religious aspects I do as agreed, I tell my kids my personal view in things and we discuss around that, I tell them also how JW view this issue officially and ask them to discuss the mather further with their mum. Their situation is easier ofcourse as I am not opposing their learned belief or airing another religious view to them. My issues are of personal sort. I see clearly that they are not sure which path to go, I allways ask them to study these things according to JW education, and then considering how they personally relate to that, I have no idea if they do that. I really want that they know what JW doctrine and life is about, as this is the lifestyle their mum values. Then first make qualified decision about direction in their life. If they choose JW life I'm happy as long as they know what that means. If they choose life outside JW religion I'm happy too, as long they know what they left behind. I take them with me to some of my renewed non-JW related activities, this way showing how my life looks like today. Sometimes these collide with meetings but we let the kids decide what they attend, mostly mum has won . In a sense this is the same kind of life I lived, on the other side I participated in JW life and activities, but I could also experience the world outside the JW context.
CP