Here goes...I left the JWs, nearly 10 years ago..I was 16 when my hand was helped along by firstly getting kicked out my Parents home, (My Dad had been an elder but was stood down for various family issues..me being one...and my Mum was a ferocious terrier of a doorknocker..) Anyway, I as a child was conditioned to please...as all JWs are, and thought Id give it another go, so went to live with my sister and her family ( JWs too)... Lasted a year before I got into"worldly hands", and My sister kicked me out... So, I went to share with my Brother ( at least he wasnt a JW now, my parents threw him out too)..and got to hear from my dad that Mum was dying of cancer, she was terminal...My brother and i grappled with feelings as we still wanted to see our parents and yet constantly had this cloud of ..you not being a JW are killing your Mother..and My Mum would beg us to come back to the "truth" so we would "live forever", this was my only ever hesitation in leaving the "organization"..and the emotional blackmail that was laid on was enormous....I managed to sit with my Mum during all of her chemo treatments( something my 2 JW sisters NEVER did) and she would constantly beg me to come back..I held my ground though it hurt to see she truly thought I was evil and would die at Armageddon..My brother bore and still does the worst of this guilt..I managed to hold my ground even after my mum died an excruciatingly painful death and my Dad publicly disowned my brother and I...I went to counselling and was told how well i had coped... so i went on to study and meet a great guy..marry him..A CATHOLIC!!! (WG)...But, listening to my Brother, just recently... after he went on JW sites.( he feels he has to have answers to all of it..). 1975 theory etc.... I thought Id take a closer look..When I read these sites it almosts seems as if my JW days are surreal..as it does feel so foreign but at the same time so familiar..I left in 1993,and have obviously missed so much as I was only ever a child in the Org...so it is a strange feeling to come on here and see such strong reactions and to see how differently everyone has come out and gotten on with life..I feel extremely wet behind the ears..but when I saw YK's arrogance and readiness to dismiss all logical queries..( I couldn't come up with any though..) I felt like ripping his JW smut to pieces... It sort of made me realise that although some may not be aware of how the whole "JW" thing can affect them, like me...it still does..........One thing I do know that bugs me, and I have never found out so I have to ask.. is...I just drifted away.. wouldnt go to the "meetings" elders set up..so what tecnically am I...? I never really gave it thought at the time.. I just up and left and have had no contact with anyone JW...My sisters though do have limited contact with us..But I limit from my side too, as I know they never fully except me or my children due to their Organization's policies...so , considering it is 2:21am..I have no real idea what point I am trying to make..LOL .I have no qualms about having left..no doubts just wondering If I went away too easy...should have disassociated..But I was never passionate about being a JW..Maybe that is why I dont feel the same need as my brother to prove it wrong etc.. oooh well hope this has made some sense...(???)
Oooh and does anyone here have a Mac with MAC OS X..and are able to get into live chat, I cant get in..just wondering if there is an incompatibility ..(??) i have a blank page once logged in...(???)
Cheers...
"7/5th of all people do not understand fractions."