My youngest sister is the only person in my JW family who has had any real contact with my husband and I and our baby. For the first year she cut us off too but then after a while she seemed to realize how horrible it was and she opened up to us.
Well, she is very easily influenced by the family and so she cut us off again. She tried to feed me the line about it being for our own good blah, blah, blah.
Here is an excerpt from how I replied:
"About the Truth, as I told you, we just wrote another letter to the elders. I tried to explain to them again the situation we're in and how horrible we're feeling. I had been praying and praying and finally realized that I needed to try to reach out to them again. I pretty much just asked for any help or encouragement they could give us. I explained about XXXX's anxiety and I'm just hoping it won't fall on deaf ears. I told them how discouraged we are. I keep thinking about the prodigal son. Do your remember the part where it says that while she son was still at a distance the father ordered a big feast to be prepared in celebration of his return? His son wasn't even back yet and that's how his father responded. So, I just don't understand why we can't be reinstated. I don't understand why we may have to wait 'years and years'. I don't know where it says that in the Bible. I really don't. All I know is that the longer we are left in this limbo, the more despairing we feel. We have both been through hell in our lives. For none of that to be taken into consideration, for it all to come down to this one sin and that's just it for us.... how can that be? And for us to get reinstated the bar is higher than it is for an average publisher. We would have to be exemplary - be at all the meetings, be visibly prepared for all the meetings and have a full spiritual routine. How are we supposed to do all of that with no support and no encouragement? That is difficult for someone who is spiritually active and part of the congregation. Just try to think about it in practical terms and tell me how likely or even possible it is for someone in our situation to pull all of that together. So what? Does that mean we're just done for and going to die at Armageddon? Again, where does it say all of that in the Bible as a prerequisite for reinstatement. I thought it was about being repentant. If my WT is underlined does that really mean anything at all? I will tell you right now that it doesn't because when I go to the meeting I quickly underline my magazine and then I do XXX's just so it looks like I studied. Does that even sound like me? No. But I don't know what else to do. As far as family distancing themselves, I can tell you right now that in the majority of cases, the only thing that does is motivate people to come back in the Truth for the wrong reasons. I know for me, at the beginning, I wanted to come back because I just wanted to be in the Truth. But now, it's just been reduced to wanting to come back because I just want my life back. That has become such a huge issue I can't even see anything else. It overrides any good intentions I may have had because how we've been treated and what we've gone through has been so brutal. Do you understand what I'm saying? Taking away a person's entire life and support system to 'encourage' them to come back.... it's just such a terrible thing to go through, that as mere humans, it's just so easy to lose focus and get desperate. So, no, I do not think that having family distance themselves is productive and I am speaking from experience."
My sister didn't reply for a while and when she finally did she said she considered what I said and said "Okay. Well, maybe it's not for your own good - but for my own good - I have to do things Jehovah's way." And that was it. PS. I'm wondering if maybe she read the article on Disfellowshipping in the recent magazine?
