headisspinning

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Posts by headisspinning

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  43

  I'm a Mess

  by headisspinning in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am an emotional mess.. yesterday, i was so firm.

  today i feel like crying.

  it was a lovely, sunny day here.

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  headisspinning

  Thanks Jeckle!
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  35

  WARNING: Try Not to Throw Up In Your Mouth

  by headisspinning in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  okay, so we finally decided that we are moving.

  this is the plan we are contemplating:.

  attend new congregation for one month (go to all the meeting with wt studied in brilliant colours etc.).

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  headisspinning

  Hey everyone...

  I appreciate your comments. I'm just going to reply to poopsiecakes because I think she has the strongest understanding and grasp on the background info here... so....

  Poopsie... I never thought it all through that way...

  I am so newly out that just 'playing the game' seems so risque at this point. Do you know what I mean?I felt like so many JW's were doing that the whole entire time but I would never allow myself to do that. Just allow myself to see it as a game and play it as a game... even just for the sake of easing my children out... just that seems so liberating....

  You have to remember has far in I was and how tortured I have been. And my husband too...

  But please push back if I am wrong in how I am seeing this...
• 
  35

  WARNING: Try Not to Throw Up In Your Mouth

  by headisspinning in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  okay, so we finally decided that we are moving.

  this is the plan we are contemplating:.

  attend new congregation for one month (go to all the meeting with wt studied in brilliant colours etc.).

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  headisspinning

  To Sizemik...

  I know that you're right... I'm just hoping is all. The thing is, I let the kids know the efforts we have made. So, if it takes longer and longer, I think even they will realize that something isn't quite right with this process.

  I have already had a full and total breakdown while I was in my first marriage. I have attempted suicided twice... I am not going back there no matter what. Plus, I have an amazing therapist who is working with me on all of these matters. I know what you mean about recovering to a 'livable degree'. I spent from 2005 - 2009 in that mode. I got DF'd in September of 2009 and I have progressed in the meantime despite the incredible stress we've been under.

  Thank you so very much for you love and concern and support. We really appreciate it.

  To Listener...

  I am NOT one to play games or be deceitful. I have terrible failings but being dishonest is not one of them. That being said, I have learned that to be a successful JW, you need to play the game. I feel terrible for 'inculcating' all of this into my kids. So rather than thinking of it as being a liar or deceitful, I am thinking of it as more of a covert rescue mission.

  Our kids are living with their JW parents. If they were with us that would be a different story. Then I could whisk them away. But we don't have that luxury right now.

  I care very much about my relationship with God. I am just going to trust that he knows our sincerity and can read our hearts. That's all we can do.

  To Moshe...

  Of course I learned that. I wonder if my mother who has shunned me learned that. I wonder if she thought about that while she was abusing me. I wonder if my ex-husband who is in fine standing in the congregation thought about that when he was abusing me. Does he think about that when he emails me and tells me to 'just stop screwing around - the Great Tribulation is coming'... do they have any self awareness at all?

  Are you honestly that caught up in the JW mentality that you think adultery is the WORST sin to be committed under ANY circumstances?

  Trust me. My children well remember what went on in our household before I finally left their father... do you know why I left him? Because he threatened to burn the house down with me in it. An elder and his wife took us in because my only other option was a women's shelter.

  But... Moshe? You're right! I must reap what I sow.

  Oh but I forgot! THEY won't reap what they sowed because ya... they aren't DISFELLOWSHIPPED! SILLY ME!
• 
  35

  WARNING: Try Not to Throw Up In Your Mouth

  by headisspinning in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  okay, so we finally decided that we are moving.

  this is the plan we are contemplating:.

  attend new congregation for one month (go to all the meeting with wt studied in brilliant colours etc.).

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  headisspinning

  How do you mean Wow?
• 
  35

  WARNING: Try Not to Throw Up In Your Mouth

  by headisspinning in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  okay, so we finally decided that we are moving.

  this is the plan we are contemplating:.

  attend new congregation for one month (go to all the meeting with wt studied in brilliant colours etc.).

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  headisspinning

  Thanks Lilly,

  You said exactly what we've been thinking... we feel that we have to kind of suck it up for the sake of the kids.

  After all, as their parents WE did this to them. We indoctrinated them. Especially for my husband... oh man.. he was so hardcore JW.

  He was probably one of the best examples of comforming your life to JW standards... try undoing that....
• 
  35

  WARNING: Try Not to Throw Up In Your Mouth

  by headisspinning in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  okay, so we finally decided that we are moving.

  this is the plan we are contemplating:.

  attend new congregation for one month (go to all the meeting with wt studied in brilliant colours etc.).

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  headisspinning

  Hey Charlie Brown...

  I know that's the 'ideal' but if you read my past threads you will see the issues with our kids.

  Losing the DF label will go far in terms of our ability to help them

  Thanks.

  HIS
• 
  5

  Baa, Baa Black Sheep?

  by headisspinning in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so, as always, i've been doing some thinking.... today, i was thinking about animals.

  specific animals, namely sheep and goats.. when we were kids we had both.

  here are my observations:.

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• 

  headisspinning

  Ohhhh and they can mangle the sheep AND the goats! Coool!
• 
  35

  WARNING: Try Not to Throw Up In Your Mouth

  by headisspinning in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  okay, so we finally decided that we are moving.

  this is the plan we are contemplating:.

  attend new congregation for one month (go to all the meeting with wt studied in brilliant colours etc.).

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  headisspinning

  Okay, so we finally decided that we are moving.

  This is the plan we are contemplating:

  Attend new congregation for one month (go to ALL the meeting with WT studied in brilliant colours etc.)

  Request reinstatement

  We expect that to be denied

  Continue for two more months

  Request reinstatement again

  IF we are accepted back, attend for one to two months and start the fade.

  If you have read my other postings you understand the issues with our children.

  Please let me know what you think of this plan.

  (And try not to throw up in your mouth).
• 
  5

  Baa, Baa Black Sheep?

  by headisspinning in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so, as always, i've been doing some thinking.... today, i was thinking about animals.

  specific animals, namely sheep and goats.. when we were kids we had both.

  here are my observations:.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  headisspinning

  All I know is that I embrace being curious and I value intelligent thought. The thought of blindly following along without thinking is so unappealing to me.

  I am a non-conformist by nature. Where does that leave me? On the one hand, as a child, I boldly spoke out for my faith. I was able to deal with opposers at school and I even gave a speech on 'God's Kingdom' in grade 4 and 'Evolution vs. Creation' in grade 6. I also conducted bible studies during recess. (I'm not bragging - I'm just saying what I did - I'm not proud of any of this - I'm just making this disclaimer so nobody thinks I'm 'patting myself on the back').

  In that setting - at school as a JW - my non-comformist nature would have been admired by Jws. And yet now, my non-conformity would be classed as 'goat-like', right?

  Just saying...
• 
  5

  Baa, Baa Black Sheep?

  by headisspinning in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so, as always, i've been doing some thinking.... today, i was thinking about animals.

  specific animals, namely sheep and goats.. when we were kids we had both.

  here are my observations:.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  headisspinning

  So, as always, I've been doing some thinking...

  Today, I was thinking about animals. Specific animals, namely sheep and goats.

  When we were kids we had both. Here are my observations:

  Goats:

  Baby goats (kids) are really cute and affectionate animals. By nature they are inquisitive, curious and have a whole lot of spunk! Definitely intelligent little buggers and ever so lively!

  Sheep:

  Lambs are adorable with their white and wooly coats. They look every so cuddly! But in the brains department? Not so much. We had a lamb we raised over the summer. All that thing did was eat. I named him 'Lambert' and I imagined making a pet of him over the summer until his fateful end. That thing was thick as a post and all I can say is the best part was when he was served up on my plate for dinner.

  Now, think about those characteristics of these animals and then think about yourself...

  For many of us, the mere fact that we are on this site shows we are curious at the very least. So too, most of us are here because we weren't just blindly playing follow the leader. No matter how indoctrinated we may have been, part of our brains were actually at work and something, somewhere along the line made us stop and think... and perhaps even question.

  I could go on, but with those factors in mind... which animal to do more identify with? Which animal is more attractive to you? And which animal would you want to be if you had a choice.?

  Now think back to the illustration of the sheep and the goats...

  I'm just putting this out there for comments... I'm not drawing any specific conclusions. I just want to see what you all have to say on this subject.