I'm a Mess

by headisspinning 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • headisspinning
    headisspinning

    I am an emotional mess.

    Yesterday, I was so firm. Today I feel like crying.

    It was a lovely, sunny day here. I was looking at the blue sky and my little baby son and I was so thankful.

    I just wanted everything to be okay and normal. I felt love for Jehovah for giving me what I have, even thought the going has been hard.

    I felt a longing for my mom... I just felt like, no matter what, I would do pretty much anything just to get my family back.

    I can't deal with this. I felt like Jehovah was somehow keeping me ALIVE all this time despite what I've been through. I've never been mad at Him.

    Help!

  • palmtree67
    palmtree67

    There will be days like this, dear one.

    But they will pass and they will get to be fewer and fewer......I promise.

    ((( Julia )))

  • headisspinning
    headisspinning

    I just want Jehovah... do you know what I mean? I want to know he's there. I just felt like my whole world was turn upside down and then given a cruel twist today.

    I want all of you to be very, very bad and evil people... for telling me the truth. And that Ray Franz too. WHY does he have to be so effen BELIEVABLE and HONEST?!!!

  • headisspinning
    headisspinning

    Oh and thank you, palmtree. I need ya!

  • Alfred
    Alfred

    What Palmtree 67 said... we all have days like these... the trick is to simply take one day at a time... before you know it, your nightmare will be distant memory and you will emerge from it stronger and happier than ever...

  • jookbeard
    jookbeard

    HIS;

    is it any wonder you are a mess with your record?

  • palmtree67
    palmtree67

    The rug has been pulled out from under you, and you are struggling to get back up.

    That's okay! You will pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go on the lead a happy life - loving Jehovah and knowing he loves you, too.

  • shamus100
    shamus100

    Believing in reality is harder at first, but when you're done going through the mourning process you'll be a lot happier.

    If you want god to be real, go find him. He doesn't belong to the watchtower corporation. :) Trust me.

  • headisspinning
    headisspinning

    I am just overwhelmed with horrible guilt. I feel like after everything Jehovah has done for me... the 'Spiritual Paradise'.. the "love of the brothers'... and here I am falling to Satan's wiles and NOT 'proving Satan a Liar'...

    But I feel like I am like a lost child and my life has been so messed up and I have begged the elders who Jehovah told me are 'spirit appointed'... I have pleaded for their help and they won't even acknowledge me. And what about my husband? How can the elders know that he was repeatedly raped as a little boy and not even blink an eye?

    I am screaming for Jehovah: "If you are there... if everything we have devoted our lives to was for real... HELP US NOW!!!"...

    Why am I getting a "Not In Service" signal?

  • headisspinning
    headisspinning

    Jookbeard: What do you mean? Are you accusing me?

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