I was just curious to know if anyone knows how many ex-dubs have gay, lesbian, or bi-sexual tendencies that linger both inside and outside the organization- whether or not they were ever acted upon?? my husband pokes fun at me sometimes that i love women and that I'm bi-sexual. I guess I can't really deny that. But that goes back to my childhood. We would always have sleepovers and as little girls we would play these truth or dare games, pretty typical right? well they would always involve kissing another girl. i think that interest has kind of stuck with me....
mochamint22
JoinedPosts by mochamint22
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GLB question.....
by mochamint22 ini was just curious to know if anyone knows how many ex-dubs have gay, lesbian, or bi-sexual tendencies that linger both inside and outside the organization- whether or not they were ever acted upon??
my husband pokes fun at me sometimes that i love women and that i'm bi-sexual.
i guess i can't really deny that.
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Did the Watchtower almost just go bust?
by TimothyT intaken from the watchtower media website today:.
maybe im reading this wrong!!!.
http://www.jw-media.org/fra/20110630.htm.
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Who has NOT read Combatting Cult Mind Control or Crisis of Conscience?
by Mad Sweeney ina lot of people here have read and highly recommend ccmc by steven hassan and coc by ray franz, myself included.
i don't know how i would have handled leaving the borg without that knowledge.. so thinking that got me to wondering, who here has not read them (or has read one but not the other), and how are you coping with exiting the borg?
did you get counseling?
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mochamint22
ive never read it before. what's the buzz about it. any examples of whats in it that helps cope ?
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A letter to my MS father.
by Velour init's been over a year since i've left.
i wasn't df and i haven't officially da myself.
when i left my father told me with a look in his face i've never seen before, "oh, you'll have so much fun out there in the world.
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mochamint22
Hi there, It's been about a year for me too since i left and am not DFd or DAd. just inactive as they say. I'm 26 year old woman who has a mother much like your father. I've heard those words too about the world chewing my up and spitting me back out. me being a walking corpse in her eyes, etc....i've also tried to keep the lines of communication open but she ignores me. only talks to me if i call her and its all superficial at this point. I did have a conversation with her a couple of months ago (oh i forgot to say she is a witness for like 20 something yrs and a pioneer) about how i dont feel the truth is the truth and about the bad experiences i had when i was growing up which includes molestation, defellowshipping and reinstatement, private reproof, physical abuse, judgement by others in the cong, gossip over my issues, etc. the list goes on and on. i told her that i've been reading info on this site and people's experiences mirror mine and that i dont believe this to be the truth. she said that it was foolish for me to be talking to others that have left the org saying that if someone wanted to get to know me after i divorced my husband, would i think it fair for someone to ask him about my character? saying of course not because he would not give me a fair description of who i am. i also brought up questions to her about scriptures and how they have been changed it the NWT and she said that someone has to change it to help people in the world understand the message. and i said who is the org to change gods words for any reason because thats just some persons interpretation. she said they are put there by jehovah to give the message any questioning them is questioning jehovah. it was basically talking in circles. she hates any kind of success that i have and always has some snide remark like it being short lived since i'm not a jw anymore. she tries to sabotage any plans i have to make it a failure so she is "right." basically, my point is that there is no point. you cant reason with a devout JW. you'd be wasting your breath. once they are in, they're in and anything outside of that bubble is wrong and to be shunned. i dont want to hurt you and i hope you can see where i'm coming from. i've been in your shoes, hell i AM in your shoes and its a waste of my time and energy so i gave up trying.
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After leaving Jw's did you go into another religion or serv. god ur own way?
by average joe ini am just curious if you guys left jw's and now worship in some other relgion or worship in your own way?
have you sworn off organized religion ?
if you have not sworn off organized religion then i wonder what relgion seems to be the right one for you guys?
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mochamint22
My husband is Evangelical Christian, I think is what its called. HA HA. I was very surprised to know that his beliefs are somewhat similar to my old beliefs. Basically all the good stuff without the guilt trip and control! He knows and uses Jehovah's name - which was a revelation in of itself to me since i was brought up - in the truth- to believe that no one but JWs use God's name. He wants us to go to a church together but I still haven't because everytime I think about it, i have this little voice that tells me i'd be committing Idolatry by stepping foot into another place of worship other than a KH. I want to go but i'm scared. i guess right now, i've kind of written off religion and don't like to talk about it because of the mental and emotional scars i have from being JW for so long. I do, eventually, want to get to that place where I can go to a christian church. i like to listen to sermons on my podcast like Marcos Witt who is a part of the Lakewood Church in Houston. I live in WA state but i enjoy listening to his sermons and listening to his songs so much. I also enjoy listening to other singers of christian music as well. when i listen to it, the songs bring tears to my eyes. i can't even describe why or how it happens. Its like i'm singing the words and then my eyes well up with joy and pride to know jehovah and his works. its moments like those that make me want to really delve back into having a spiritual life. apart from jw's of course. if i did go to a church it would have to be something like the evangelical or baptist religion, but for right now, i'm kind of like the others on this post that dont want to have anything to do with organized religion and just want to BE. to enjoy singing to my god and trying to live a good life that brings him joy and to be proud of me.
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What's The Longest You've Been In A Relationship?
by minimus inand if you were dating someone "seriously", how long did that last?.
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mochamint22
i have only been in love once, and that was with my husband and we've been married for almost 6 years. we married when i was 21, he was 24. we aactually only dated for like a month before we got married. i think i was running away from the organ and all its poison and was a single mom and when we met it just felt right. it was very quick but we've grown so close and love each other very much. he's a blessing
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Some Thoughts on Self Esteem and Disfellowshipping
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mochamint22
my mother is one of those. i was disfellowshipped when i was 17 for the dreaded fornication. a child resulted from that so that heaped on the shame even more. she called me a whore and spread all the deatils surrounding the situation with all of her pioneer friends who, as you all know, LOVE to gossip in their car group clicks. she has told me that i'm dead to her and that i'm a walking corpse. that i don't love my husband or daughters because i dont make an effort for all of us to be in the "truth." even when we were living in the same household when i was disfellowshipped, she hardly spoke two words to me that year and all of her shunning and mal treatment has scarred me. and it continues to affect me and my self-esteem. i have been diagnosed clinically depressed and have attempted suicide a couple yrs back. i battle with feelings of worthlessness and anger which seems to be for no apparent reason when it happens but i know it all goes back to the org and how that has affected my life.
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Check this website out! Pretty pricey stuff for the JW
by Lynnie inhttp://chbook.stores.yahoo.net/2006items.html.
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mochamint22
who would actually buy that crap? those are some really stupid prices. Yeah I could see all those old pioneer hags vying for their share of that stuff. Whipping it out at meetings and assemblies just to have people go ask them what's that where'd you get it. YUCK
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Have You Ever Experienced Depression?
by minimus inmy mom does and has every ailment under the sun.. i know more people that are under meds for depression than not.. fortunately, i do not suffer from depression but i wonder how many do or have, especially if you were a witness..
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mochamint22
I have been diagnosed as clinically depressed but I refuse to take meds. My friends keep telling me that I should take them because it helps but I just don't like the idea of needing a pill to be happy. Maybe it's a mental thing from being a witness and the whole control concept. I just want to feel like I'm in control, not a pill. But I have started going to therapy and have been giving the pills some thought because it seems like more recently than ever, I'm always feeling down. Yest I just wanted to burst out crying and this frequently happens. I could be listening to a song or watching tv or doing anything really, and tears well up. Im lost as to where its coming from since I would like to think I'm over this whole jw drama. maybe not....
moe