Regardless of the years spent in the cult, I have had a pretty happy life. I am married to the love of my life and except for the 2 years following my exit from the cult we have had a happy marriage even though she is still a JW. When I reached 50 I started taking a long look at what I had accomplished and at how I wanted to spend the rest of my life. At that time I was starting to awaken. I had lost my dad and shortly after became a grandfather which made it more evident that I had grown old in this old system. How could that be possible when my whole life I was led to believe that this wouldn't happen, that dad and mom with our whole family would survive Armageddon and enter the new system together. Some research allowed me to find the truth about the JW cult and for 4 years I knew I was trapped in a cult and I had to find a way out. Those were the most unhappy days of my life. I was depressed knowing that I had wasted so much of my life in useless cult activities and that every day I stayed in was another day wasted. I even contemplated suicide. I decided to accept every business travel opportunity by my employer. It allowed me to have time on my own away from the meetings and cult activities. I realized I was much happier and less depressed when I stayed away from the JW activities. Business travel was also a perfect excuse to step away from my congregation responsibilities and create more distance. Then the new light on the generation pushed me over the edge and I never returned to the meetings after the district convention in 2010. Today I can say that I am happier than ever despite the irritants caused by my close family still being trapped in the cult. I experience moments of intense happiness in the smallest things such as sitting by the river to read the Saturday newspaper or things I never had time to do when I devoted that time in the door to door work. I use to spend time working and fixing things at the k-hall while neglecting things that needed attention at home...now I can take all the time I need to maintain my cars or ride my motorcycle...things I love to do but never had time to. I am a few years away from retirement and the travel opportunities offered by my work are making that time very enjoyable. I am not sure if my wife will ever wake up so I am not letting this getting in the way of my happiness.