Posts by Gemmel

66

Since leaving the JW Organization, who is believing?

by Issa in

jw
friends

i left the jw organization last year during summer.

maybe some of you can relate.

who of you are agnostic or an atheist?

Gemmel

When I first left I thought I was a agnostic but quickly became a atheist

40

Older JW: not happy

by Gorbatchov in

jw
friends

this week i visited my sick father in law.. then an old elder from my far away congregation came in for coffee.

did not see him in 15 years.. nice chat.

had a lot to say, is alone, his sick wife disabled and away from home.. he told me: "living alone is so hard.

I have a slightly different slant on this. I've been out for nearly 30 years now, was dragged in by the family as a child in the early 70's. I completely lost my whole family when I resigned in 87. Losing my family and the sense of betrayal were very hard to deal with but I did.

I get a sense of quiet satisfaction that my siblings who are now older and poor having made no provision for retirement, live very modest lives while I have taken retirement 10 years early and spending my time flying around the world deciding where I want to go next. I was reminded reading this thread of what my brother said when I called to say I resigning, telling me that I was a fool and "the new system is just around the corner". It made me smile.

53

Just wrote my DA letter....

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

my wife and i planned on fading but the elders now want a shepherding call and we are just done.

i know that many play the game to try to stay in, but i'm not a game player and neither is my wife.

our families already shun us because we reached out to a disfellowshipped family member.

Gemmel

Sorry I mislead in previous post.

My disassociation from the organisation was announced - they didn't read my letter out.

Now that would have been great lol

53

Just wrote my DA letter....

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

my wife and i planned on fading but the elders now want a shepherding call and we are just done.

i know that many play the game to try to stay in, but i'm not a game player and neither is my wife.

our families already shun us because we reached out to a disfellowshipped family member.

Gemmel

I wrote that letter 28 years ago, I dropped it off at an elders house, they kept it for a week (to give me the opportunity to withdraw it) then it was read out during the service meeting. I'm reliably informed it was like setting off a bomb.

You two have made the right decision, it's one I've never regretted even though it cost me my family. It will be hard at first and depending on why you left you will find that it will take time for you to be really free of them. The beliefs they instilled in you as crazy as you intellectually know them to be still have power.

Take it easy, enjoy life, question everything you believe for why you believe it.

Good luck.

4

Aussie Good Neighbours give the lie to the "Spirit of The World"

by BluesBrother in

jw
friends

sorry about the mistaken false post and it would not do an edit...the post is to show this video which is similar to what i saw on t v .

http://au.news.yahoo.com/video/national/-/watch/23857523/volunteers-descend-on-brisbane/.

now what does the wt say in the case of disaster, that the world only helps themselves and selfishness and opportunism rule .

Gemmel

Personally I can't recall the org every doing an act of charity for anyone in need outside the org. One of the reasons i knew they weren't gods org.

Gemmel

73

little cantleave wants to say hi

by nugget in

jw
friends

my son wants to say hi to everyone on the forum.

as one of the main drivers to us exiting the cult he is very excited about never going to a meeting again.. if i knew how to load pictures i would let you see his plan for christmas lights next year.

apparently we are having a sleigh with reigndeers.

Gemmel

Hello little cantleave from Sydney, Australia.

And don't forget the birthdays either!!!! ;)

9

G'day from Oz - My Story part II ;)

by Gemmel in

hi all, (i posted most of this last night on the end of the other thread then realised no one knew it was there).

thanks for all the words of support and understanding, no one who hasn't been in a cult can really understand it.. i didn't mention names or locations in the story so that the jw lurkers couldn't find my familly who are still in the jw's but now speak to me.

which has only happened in the last few years.

Gemmel

Hi all, (I posted most of this last night on the end of the other thread then realised no one knew it was there)

Thanks for all the words of support and understanding, no one who hasn't been in a cult can really understand it.

I didn't mention names or locations in the story so that the jw lurkers couldn't find my familly who are still in the jw's but now speak to me. Which has only happened in the last few years. It's only limited and it's not all of them but better than nothing. I'm not going to go into any further details on that score.

I many ways I was very fortunate after I left the jw's. My educational qualifications were and still are lousy. I'd left school at 14 after being to 11 of them in 9 years. Mum's answer to any problem real or imagined was to move, I couldn't tell you how many different places I lived there were so many. I was the permenant new boy at school and as the world was going to end I didn't ever do any work at school. I can't ever remember doing home work ;) My saving grace was my curiosity and computer games lol.

Back when I was 22-23 I went over to a bothers place to see a thing called a computer (Apple II+ clone) and ended up playing a game all night, I went out and brought one the next day ;) When the PC came along I brought one of those, I been a PC boy ever since. So when the company I worked for computerised I found myself moved into the EDP dept cause I knew how to spell PC and never looked back. I'm now the systems manager of the core product in Sydney of a major international company and I owe it all to a computer game. ;)

I was basically numb for the first 3 years after I left then I moved to Sydney for a job offer. Then I really let my hair down and did everything I had denied myself, all in all it was a fun time lol. I've never wanted kids and I've never married, had some girlfriends but the relationships never lasted more than a year which was usually to long for me. I've come to the conclusion that I'm a bit of a loner by nature, I keep a few close friends and that's enough for me. I like being able to do what I like when I like and not have to answer to anyone. I've been in a pseudo (FWB) relaitionship for the last few years which is perfect for both of us.

I was very angry with my family for a very long time and it poisioned everything in my life, having a very high stress job at the same time didn't help either. Then about 8 years ago I was retrenched and walked away with a years pay. I decided to take an extended vaction and de-stress, it was at this point I wrote a very long letter to my family explaining exactly what had happened and why I had left the org then I told them what I thought of their actions and how they had no clue what real love was and then told them to f k off. I really enjoyed writing that letter ;) From then on I got better, I accepted what had happened and largely moved on. When I returned to work 18 months later I was working with some of the guys that I had previously and every one of them came up to me an remarked what a changed person I was - "Your actually nice". That made me laugh.

Thanks for readiing. I had thought of doing this years ago when I first found this site but couldn't bring myself to do it. Actually reading this site was painful to me and I've stayed away from it and other like it. I've been pleasantly suprised to find the experience enjoyable and maybe even mildly cathartic. I think my journey out is complete.

Till lata stay safe all

Gemmel

31

G'day from Oz - My Story

by Gemmel in

hi, i've been lurking for a few days reading the site, interesting stuff ;).

i've been out of the org for 23 years, i was 27 i left an agnostic and became an atheist many years ago.

i knew i was going to leave for 7 years before i did but had stayed in because i didn't want to hurt my family, it hadn't occurred to me that they might shun me.

Gemmel

Hi all,

Thanks for all the words of support and understanding, no one who hasn't been in a cult can really understand it.

I didn't mention names or locations in the story so that the jw lurkers couldn't find my familly who are still in the jw's but now speak to me. Which has only happened in the last few years. It's only limited and it's not all of them but better than nothing. I'm not going to go into any further details on that score.

I was very fortunate after I left the jw's. My educational qualifications were and still are lousey. I left school at 14 after being to 11 of them in 9 years. Mum's answer to any problem real or imagined was to move, I couldn't tell you how many different places I lived there were so many. I was the permenant new boy at school and as the world was going to end I didn't ever do any work at school. I can't ever remember doing home work ;) My saving grace was my curiosity and computer games lol.

Back when I was 22-23 I went over to a bothers place to see a thing called a computer (Apple II+ clone) and ended up playing a game all night, I went out and brought one the next day ;) When the PC came along I brought one of those, I been a PC boy ever since. So when the company I worked for computerised I found myself moved into the EDP dept cause I knew how to spell PC and never looked back. I'm now the systems manager of the core product in Sydney of a major international company and I owe it all to a computer game. ;)

Till lata stay safe all

Gemmel

31

G'day from Oz - My Story

by Gemmel in

hi, i've been lurking for a few days reading the site, interesting stuff ;).

i've been out of the org for 23 years, i was 27 i left an agnostic and became an atheist many years ago.

i knew i was going to leave for 7 years before i did but had stayed in because i didn't want to hurt my family, it hadn't occurred to me that they might shun me.

Gemmel

Thanks both of you

I lve in Sydney, what about you? Not Brisbane I hope it's a bit wet up there. ;)

Gemmel

31

G'day from Oz - My Story

by Gemmel in

hi, i've been lurking for a few days reading the site, interesting stuff ;).

i've been out of the org for 23 years, i was 27 i left an agnostic and became an atheist many years ago.

i knew i was going to leave for 7 years before i did but had stayed in because i didn't want to hurt my family, it hadn't occurred to me that they might shun me.

Gemmel

Hi, I've been lurking for a few days reading the site, interesting stuff ;)

I've been out of the org for 23 years, I was 27 I left an agnostic and became an atheist many years ago. I knew I was going to leave for 7 years before I did but had stayed in because I didn't want to hurt my family, it hadn't occurred to me that they might shun me. I was very close to my family, they were the only people I trusted. I've always been one to follow the rules so I didn't find org too burdensome, except the no sex, I was a virgin when I left. I always kept my own council and never was what you would call strong in the faith, I only did the absolute minimum necessary in witnessing etc. I had always been interested in science, astronomy and geology especially. As the information I read showed the complete fallacy of the JW's belief in the world only being 48k old I finally began to examine the beliefs I had been spouting since I was 11 (when my family entered the "Truth") and realised what a complete lot of rot it was and christianity as well. Eventually I could no longer live with being a complete hypocrite and I decided to make the break and just drift away, it wasn't to be.

I lived alone and hadn't been going to meetings for about 3 weeks. A brother from a nearby congregation who I had known since he was 13 dropped over to say hi, he had also never been strong in the faith. He made a comment that he had been suprised to see me pursuing a sister at a the circuit assembly about 3 months previously as she was a pioneer (my smaller brain had been in overdrive ;). We ended up talking about the org and I told him that I had decided to drift away and never come back. He then told he was gay (no suprise) then floored me by telling that he'd been in love with me for years - then the phone rang - it was the elders. When I took the call my thoughts were a little scattered ;).

The end result of the call was that I told the elder I had decided to drft away for awhile, that I had doubts. I then made the mistake of my life, I mentioned that the brother was there visiting. After the call I let the brother down gently and then had a serious talk about his situation - being a gay jw. He was a emotional mess who admitted to me he had attempted suicide once after being publicly reproved but found by his family. He still believe the religion and was scared of dying at armagedon. This was Saturday.

On Sunday I visited my Mother and Sister to tell them I was leaving and why - I basically said I just don't believe it and I can't live with myself living a lie. They were very teary visits. My brother was a suprise, he lived interstate so I called him, he said "your a fool" and hung up. I never spoke to him again for 8 years.

Monday night the elder turned up unanounced to tell me they were going to have to hold a committee meeting to find out if I was apostate and that they would have to call in my family and the brother. I wasn't about to let the brother have to go through another meeting with the elders, he would confess that he had told me he was in love with me and even though nothing happened the elders would assume something did and make his life unberable. As far as I was concerned I wasn't going back, I was apostate and proud of it. I didn't think I would be shunned by my family, the only people I cared about. I knew they were upset but I was sure they would get over it. I was wrong.

So I asked the elder what I would have to do to not have the meeting. He told me I would have to disassociate myself. I told him ok I'd drop off a letter that night. I wrote the letter and dropped it off and he called and told me I had 7 days to change my mind. Best decision I ever made.

I received what I assume are the usual number of called from ex friends asking for comfirmation that I had really left, strangely it didn't really bother me I was just glad to be free. I wasn't immediatly shunned by the family it took them 6 months but I could occasionally call them and stay in contact, which was the norm we never lived in each others pockets. But after couple of years my sister moved and didn't give me a forwarding number. Mum would occasionally call but it was always about coming back and would never give me the contact details of some cousins who had also left. In the end I just ended up feeling very betrayed and angry and told them in a letter to xxxx off.

Things are much better now but I will leave that to a future post...

btw it took me 6 months to lose the virginity ;)

Gemmel