Scarlett:
If you want to slow down your exit, remain with your mother, and not be DFd or ostracized, you will need to "make a plan".
1) If your mother is going to report you to the elders, then you will likely have to meet with them or they will pursue you as an apostate if she tells them about you being on this (and other) websites. Does she know you are reading this online? You will be asked how you "learned" these things! REMEMBER, your mother thinks she is trying to SAVE YOUR LIFE! (Yes, she is being deceived just as we all were!)
2) Don't throw your PIMO friend under the bus. Perhaps you could say that you got all this information from a workmate who is "anti-JW". At first they pretended to be "interested" in The Troof, but then started sharing this anti-JW information with you. The information they have been feeding you, has you "confused" and has "raised some doubts". Implore the Elders to help you and let them "set matters straight". It "seemed" to make senseat first, but you realize it must all be lies.
If you feel guilty being deceptive, then simply remember that the Organization says you're telling a "lie" only if the person DESERVES to know the truth. These men DO NOT DESERVE ANYTHING FROM YOU.
3) MOST IMPORTANT -- ERASE YOUR INTERNET HISTORY!!!! (Just re-read some of your posts and saw you are spending a lot of time on line at jwfacts, etc.
4) Start developing "worldly" friendships. People at work. Former classmates. Etc.
5) SAVE MONEY!!
6) Plan for a future on your own. At 20, I was out of the house and proud to be so even though I was still a "believing" JW (tho not living up to all the rules).
7) REJOICE that you've learned TTATT at only 20 years of age. My wife and I were in our 50's. OUR LIVES were mostly wasted on this Cult. YOUR life has just begun!
Good luck!
Doc