Posts by NewChapter

63

Abortion so daughter family doesn't kick her out, her dfed, etc.

by EndofMysteries in

it's sad that someone is thinking bout that because of fear of being cast out by family.

i don't know this person, but a mutual aquaintence who knows i was a jw told me.

i'm going to try to relay info to help them.

NewChapter

That's why my focus was to the gossip aspect of this topic. I'm bored with the other aspect and I have a right to put my focus where I want it.

This ain't no kingdom hall.

Mrs. Jones,

I'm sorry if you thought I was trying to push you to change your focus. I was just explaining myself, so it didn't sound like I was getting upset over a stranger's situation, which I thought maybe you were saying. This topic will be discussed back and forth forever, but see, this is the very first time I've ever been free to discuss it. So, I jumped on the opportunity. Like you say, this ain't no kingdom hall.

Anyway, I wasn't trying to be critical--furthest thing from my mind. Since I'm weighing in for the first time on this taboo topic, I didn't want to be misunderstood. One day I'll tire of the topic, and then I'll just skip the posts, but today, I just want to finally be able to speak freely.

24

Latest Big Love reaction at the undercover house...

by undercover in

jw
friends

so i dvrd the last couple of episodes of big love.

wasn't able to watch them at first broadcast the last couple of weeks.. we've watched this series from it's start and haven't missed an episode.

as the cultishness of the compound and even bill's family became more central to the story...and the off-hand criticisms of the 'real' mormon church are leveled, i sense mild anxiety at times while watching the show.

NewChapter

While beliefs between the Mormon church, the cult off-shoots and the JWs are different, there are similarities in how members are coerced to believe, obey and not question.

I'm addicted to the show for this very reason. Even before i made the decision to leave, I could see the similarities. It is amazing how the show captures those unique feelings of those inside. The ending of last season really struck home. The wives being outed by the husband, (mostly against their better judgement) and then grabbing hands, them against the world. They acted against their best interests for their beliefs, something JW's do daily, then they band together to feel like it's okay.

As far as Bill is concerned, I sort (sort of) like the character in season one, but he really just acts selfishly and then uses his beliefs to justify his actions. I will enjoy watching it all crumble in the end.

63

Abortion so daughter family doesn't kick her out, her dfed, etc.

by EndofMysteries in

it's sad that someone is thinking bout that because of fear of being cast out by family.

i don't know this person, but a mutual aquaintence who knows i was a jw told me.

i'm going to try to relay info to help them.

NewChapter

I refuse to get all worked up over gossip.

Absolutely Mrs Jones, but I think that for some this has become a discussion on abortion in general, not so much a discussion about that specific person. The original post definitely was from second hand information about a stranger, and I don't think it would be a good idea to try and contact this stranger and try to persuade her not to do what you only heard she might be considering. On the other hand, I think the broader topic is of interest.

43

Is it just human nature to gossip or are JW's worse? Feelings are hurt....

by mamalove in

jw
friends

it is so strange how once you distance yourself from your kingdom hall and friends, that they find it necesary to discuss and contemplate your departure and put out all kinds of statements that simply are not true.. i am licking my wounds today because some kind of nasty things were said about me to a friend of mine who is df, from her ubber righteous sister.

it was via text, so it was there to read.

the thing i can't figure out is i have nothing to do with this woman.

NewChapter

I recently learned that good friends even made LUNCH DATES with each other specifically to discuss me. Cuz the were concerned! Cuz they wanted to figure out ways to encourage me! Cuz they cared!

I wasn't invited though. They were much better able to encourage, care and be concerned about me if I was not actually present. LOL

I'm not bitter though. I'm baffled. Yet I'm sure it makes perfect sense to them.

They didn't even bring me a doggy bag...

20

Being responsible for your behaviour

by Luo bou to in

jw
friends

i make excuses for my ex and witness relatives telling myself that they're not responsible because they are under mind controll.

but is that good enough.

can treating someone as if they don't exist be excused ?

NewChapter

I think for many shunning appeals to some witnesses. Feeds their self righteousness What do you think?

For a few, yes that is probably true. But my experience has been that for most, shunning causes a great deal of pain for both parites. I remember a close friend of mine having to shun a close friend of hers. This weighed on her all the time. She bought into the idea that shunning was healthy for the sinner and would help them see the light. Like disciplining a child, she reasoned, for their own protection. And that was reinforced through association, talks and literature.

That said, it was still her decision, (or mine) to shun her friend. Yet, even criminal courts consider mitgating circumstances. Yes, someone may be guilty of theft, but the judge will soften the sentence if he/she understands that a person was under a great deal of pressure with seemingly nowhere to turn and acted out of desperation.

So, I would consider what motivates the shunner. Was it a true desire to do what was right and help the "sinner", even though the effort was misdirected? Or was it instituted to hurt the shunned person, to prove their own righteousness, to humiliate?

For those that compare it to disciplining a child, as the WT encourages, they should think about this. When do you ever withdraw love and comfort from your child? They may be sent to their room for misbehaving, but if they get a boo boo, you are right there kissing it. You don't say to the child, "Nope, it's too bad you're hurting, but I can't comfort you until your 5 minutes are up! Go back to the corner!" See, it is a false comparison.

I suppose we each need to decide how much we hold a shunner responsible. But generalizations and strict reasonings are what WT does. We can choose a more merciful course.

63

Abortion so daughter family doesn't kick her out, her dfed, etc.

by EndofMysteries in

it's sad that someone is thinking bout that because of fear of being cast out by family.

i don't know this person, but a mutual aquaintence who knows i was a jw told me.

i'm going to try to relay info to help them.

NewChapter

The women's movement was growing stronger and stronger, and women wanted to feel empowered to reach for the sky unencumbered by unplanned children

I respectfully ask, is this a bad thing? Should women not reach for the sky? Is that part of the terrible "if it feels good do it" culture that women should reach for something more? Do men figure in this at all???? We never hear about men choosing abortion so that they can attain their dreams. Yet, many men are actually involved in the abortion decision. Some women do regret having abortions, but some women regret having children. That's not to say they don't love their children, but there is a big difference between a child you know and love, and somthing simply forming. It's not all one way.

63

Abortion so daughter family doesn't kick her out, her dfed, etc.

by EndofMysteries in

it's sad that someone is thinking bout that because of fear of being cast out by family.

i don't know this person, but a mutual aquaintence who knows i was a jw told me.

i'm going to try to relay info to help them.

NewChapter

So I wonder how much of the guilt I hear from woman who have had abortions back home in Australia can be attributed to ones social values

I'm sure most of it. The emotional warfare is strong. praisebush er praisejesus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Udw4XOZ_HAg

63

Abortion so daughter family doesn't kick her out, her dfed, etc.

by EndofMysteries in

it's sad that someone is thinking bout that because of fear of being cast out by family.

i don't know this person, but a mutual aquaintence who knows i was a jw told me.

i'm going to try to relay info to help them.

NewChapter

Well, if you believe the JW teaching, unborn children are not candidates for resurrection. Therefore, according to that teaching, that life is not precious to the god. However, those already born are candidates for resurrection. Therefore, the god values their life 100% more than the life of the unborn. It is only the human women that are expected to care so much about that unborn life they are willing to die for it. Their god has no such interest.

No, I don't believe in any gods, but I think this is a private matter. I think about the people that get very worked up over a stranger's reproductive decisions, and I know that many of them also would deny health coverage to that pregnant woman and the baby, and I wonder about values. Check out the American congress. You will find that the majority that are against choice, are also against health care coverage for all. Most that are pro-choice are also pro-coverage. In that way, I think pro-choicers care a great deal more about human life.

63

Abortion so daughter family doesn't kick her out, her dfed, etc.

by EndofMysteries in

it's sad that someone is thinking bout that because of fear of being cast out by family.

i don't know this person, but a mutual aquaintence who knows i was a jw told me.

i'm going to try to relay info to help them.

NewChapter

There are many children already born in desperate need of help. Perhaps you could lend a hand with them. The other is a private matter, your information is secondhand, it is a stranger to you, and enough people are already involved.

18

KH and DF attendance question

by diamondiiz in

i was reading brotherdan's thread about df individuals having to sit at the back or/and leave for song and prayer.

i know this practice varies from hall to hall or is regional but i was wondering what right do they have to do this if kh is a public place?

it's a charitable organization, public place open to all i thought.

NewChapter

I don't think they were prohibiting her from actually being in the building in a legal sense. The problem is, these elders that are telling her these false rules are also the elders that will be deciding her fate when she requests reinstatement.

First, what these elders have done is not the norm. They are out of line, and if she took it further, they would probably be corrected. I'm not saying I agree with the process even when it is done according to their rules, I'm just saying that these particular elders have gone rogue. I don't think they did anything to force her to leave, but if she doesn't, they may use that as proof that she is not repentant and not respectful of the DF arrangement and not submissive to elder direction.

In a sense, if you recognize their authority, it's a lot of power. Like any postion with some power, if those administering it go bad, people get hurt. On the other hand, this may have served to open her eyes, and maybe now she can truly be free. Because even if you decide to leave the org, if your heart and mind still believe, you just aren't free. I know. I was inactive once, but miserable because I believed. Now, I no longer believe, and truly feel free.