NewChapter

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Posts by NewChapter

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  16

  Friends dad committed suicide...

  by MrFreeze in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  an old friend from in the jw's dad (who was a non-jw) committed suicide the other day.

  i've been trying to call him for days but he doesn't answer.

  probably doesn't want to talk to someone "lawless and demon-infested".

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  NewChapter

  You don't really know why he isn't responding. His father just died, and he probably has A LOT of responsiblities and grief. I know when my mother died, I had no energy because of all the arrangements. When I would get home, I just needed to sit. He may not be avoiding your calls, just overwhelmed with the circumstances.

  For some reason, when death is involved, a lot of JW's will soften on the shunning bit. You will only know if this is the case if you attend the funeral service. You have the option of leaving if it upsets him or you too much. Minimum, send a card and maybe flowers if they are accepting them. He needs to understand that you are not demonized and still have the grand capacity to love.

  I'm sorry for your loss too. If he was your best friend, I'm sure you knew his father, even if it was only a little.

  Take Care,

  NC
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  8

  Old freind from old jw life, trying to get in touch...

  by highdose in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i happened to access my old email address today.

  amongst the many spams etc was a email from a old jw freind i used to know when i was in.

  this was a nice freind to me, right up until she got herself a boyfreind and then just didn't want to know, in fact i hadn't heard from her since.

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  NewChapter

  Eeks. It sounds like it could really ruin your fade. And you won't be able to talk about anything with her. And you'll have to listen to all the JW news, and you'll have to withstand or dodge her questions. Can you just say you've been inactive and leave it at that? Will she try and get involved and call your elders?

  It's up to you, but I'm not sure how you will benefit from the contact. She dropped you when she had a boyfriend, didn't invite you to the wedding etc. Think about what you stand to gain from the friendship, and what the price would be. If the stakes are too high, stay away. If you're willing to take a chance, go for it.

  Those were my 2 minas. Take 'em for what they are worth.

  NC
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  23

  After Reinstatement

  by NewChapter in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i never had anyone close to me d'fd when i was still in my jw daze.

  but i know that once it happens, good friends are crushed and desperately want that person reinstated.

  when they are reinstated, there is a lot of (quiet) celebration.

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  NewChapter

  But when I come back Im going to help change it from within.

  I'm not sure exactly what you mean, but the WT cannot be reformed. They aren't like a local church. With them, you either believe exactly as they do, or you can leave. It is a shame that years of effort to build strong friendships can be cast out like garbage by these people, but you won't change how things are run.

  We may know intellectually that our friendships are conditional, but we don't really get it until we lose them. I will never be close to the friends that are shunning me informally--no matter what happens. MAYBE if they left, but they are judgemental little bitches that don't even have to shun me. (I'm not df or da) I'm sure they feel justified. I'm sure their friends (conditional) support their decisions. I'll never make another friend that would walk away from me because someone told them to. Too much wasted time.
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  8

  Hot, Cold or Both about religion?

  by mythreesons in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  let me start by saying my wife and i are out, just not officially.

  we have not been going to the meetings for over a year.

  my wife and i had decided to check out other churches...i guess we had been feeling a need to do so.

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  NewChapter

  I came away no longer believing in a god, but I still feel this need to be part of something bigger. I guess community. Anyway, I wanted to be part of a group that wanted to help me be my best, without defining my best, or requiring I believe in any gods. I went to the Unitarian Universalist church for the first time last Sunday. Very cool group of people, and they don't care what I believe. It's weird, but they are inclusive of everbody.

  I'm going back. If for no other reason than they are concerned with social justice. I love this concept. In my jw daze, I didn't need to be concerned about such things cuz god's kingdom was gonna fix all of it. So I spent all those years not doing what I could. Now I get to do what I can.

  Edited for this: OH, and you can wear jeans if you like. I didn't see one tie, and only one dress. VERY comfy.
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  23

  After Reinstatement

  by NewChapter in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i never had anyone close to me d'fd when i was still in my jw daze.

  but i know that once it happens, good friends are crushed and desperately want that person reinstated.

  when they are reinstated, there is a lot of (quiet) celebration.

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  NewChapter

  Yeah, now that some SEEM to be informally shunning me, I just can't get over how conditional our friendships had been. I mean, until it happens, it is hard to understand. They always quoted that scripture about friends sticking closer than brothers, and I really viewed it that way. Until now. Even if they were talking to me, the gap between us has grown too much to really be good friends. Most of them will spend the rest of their lives saying goodbye to friends they loved.
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  23

  After Reinstatement

  by NewChapter in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i never had anyone close to me d'fd when i was still in my jw daze.

  but i know that once it happens, good friends are crushed and desperately want that person reinstated.

  when they are reinstated, there is a lot of (quiet) celebration.

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  NewChapter

  I never had anyone close to me d'fd when I was still in my jw daze. But I know that once it happens, good friends are crushed and desperately want that person reinstated. When they are reinstated, there is a lot of (quiet) celebration. But afterwards, friendships just never seemed to truly recover. It looked like the df process ruined the friendships even after reinstatement.

  Was that a false impression or were freindships still broken after reinstatement? Any stories? And if they were still broken, I wonder if it was because the freindship had been interrupted or because the reinstated one can't forget the sting of shunning. Or any other reason---still looking for stories
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  15

  Tonight on Glenn Beck Is Not Allowing Me To Post A Comment

  by NewChapter in

  1. social
  2. current

  but i'll just say this.

  beck will be frenching that guy in the green room.

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  NewChapter

  This guy should wear a helmet. He's gonna hurt himself.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuQsDlcE8qs
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  15

  Tonight on Glenn Beck Is Not Allowing Me To Post A Comment

  by NewChapter in

  1. social
  2. current

  but i'll just say this.

  beck will be frenching that guy in the green room.

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  NewChapter

  And yes, encouraging people to eat their veggies is so insidious

  And breastfeeding! Don't forget how horrified they are that Michelle Obama supports BREASTFEEDING! helpusjesus the socialists are coming the socialists are coming.
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  15

  Tonight on Glenn Beck Is Not Allowing Me To Post A Comment

  by NewChapter in

  1. social
  2. current

  but i'll just say this.

  beck will be frenching that guy in the green room.

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  NewChapter

  http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-february-14-2011/pyramid-scheme---world-reaction
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  3

  New Health Worker Rules

  by Juan Viejo2 in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  the obama administration on friday (2/18/2011) eliminated key provisions of a george w. bush-era rule that allowed health workers to opt out of medical services they find objectionable on religious or personal grounds.

  the rule was widely interpreted as allowing workers to refuse to participate in a range of services, including providing the emergency contraceptive plan b and treating gays and lesbians.

  the new rule leaves intact previously established "conscience protections" for workers who do not want to perform abortions or sterilizations.

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  NewChapter

  I wonder how this will apply to JWs who are nurses and doctors and have to participate in operations where blood transfusions are necessary.

  I never understood why they would take a job, where the JOB, violates their conscience. I never understood the difference between simply caring for someone being given a blood transfusion, and actually putting the iv in. Would someone that was against abortion work with a doctor who offers genetic counseling that could actually lead to abortion? Would someone that was against birth control work with a gynecologist whose job it is to provide birth control? JW's don't belong in the operating room! Perhaps they should work in a clinic or a nursing home. The difference with other conscience matters is they don't involve life threatening emergencies. People can wait a little while for abortions or birth control, not so with blood transfusion. JW's should not be cluttering up trauma units. They are only in the way.

  I am surprised to read that some people object to treating homosexuals. That doesn't single out an actual service but targets a person. Are you sure they were allowed to do that? Cuz, then a case could be made that you don't want to treat: prostitutes, pimps, drug dealers, motorcyclists, abortion providers that got shot at their clinics, gang members, wife beaters, rapists, murderers, child molestors... I didn't think health care workers were free to choose WHO they treated. Still, more disturbing things have happened.