can someone explain why jws shun disfellowshipped ones when they are at their meetings (i.e.
making moves to come back)?.
i can understand why you may not want to 'socialize' with ones who do not share your beliefs.. but surely shunning such ones at the 'meetings'; assuming they are not there to cause trouble, is unloving; should they not be welcomed like the prodigal son.. true christians are known by the 'love' they show.
I knew a woman that couldn't get reinstated for 6 years. She followed all the rules, it was her only DF, she hadn't been PR before it, it was one incident. The elders held a grudge--she left the state. Her current elders were stunned when they saw her ask every 6 months to be reinstated. They confirmed that she was at every meeting, but the answer was no every time.
And her "sin" was not all that shocking or out of the ordinary. How do they justify this? They don't have to.
his reaction wasnt as liberal as i hoped it would be.
he said that we needed to discuss it.
however, gone are the days where im putting myself in the firing line and not sticking up for myself.
My pastor is a lesbian. Too bad UU chuches are too far for ya!
NC
can someone explain why jws shun disfellowshipped ones when they are at their meetings (i.e.
making moves to come back)?.
i can understand why you may not want to 'socialize' with ones who do not share your beliefs.. but surely shunning such ones at the 'meetings'; assuming they are not there to cause trouble, is unloving; should they not be welcomed like the prodigal son.. true christians are known by the 'love' they show.
If Kingdom halls want to remain "public" places, then they cannot tell individuals where they can sit, when they can come in, when they must leave, unless the rules are evenly applied. But I understand they have different ways of putting on the pressure and making those wanting reinstatement to be "obedient". Translation: Grovel. It's a huge power trip.
For the two of you that couldn't get reinstated after years---it makes me angry on the one hand. Pompous window washers. And on the other, I'm sooooo glad you are free!! Who cares what a bunch of janitors playing dress-up say anyway. Just think of how insignificant they are---how very little power they hold in the real world and in their lives. It's pathetic really.
NC
can someone explain why jws shun disfellowshipped ones when they are at their meetings (i.e.
making moves to come back)?.
i can understand why you may not want to 'socialize' with ones who do not share your beliefs.. but surely shunning such ones at the 'meetings'; assuming they are not there to cause trouble, is unloving; should they not be welcomed like the prodigal son.. true christians are known by the 'love' they show.
Is that why DF'd ones are only allowed to enter as the meeting starts and leave as soon as it finishes so interested ones at the meeting and not stumbled by seeing someone being ignored.
IMHO--they are actually ALLOWED to enter and leave as they wish. Most choose to do it this way to relieve some of the discomfort of shunning. Most also sit in the back too---but again, they are ALLOWED to sit anywhere. These are just unspoken expectations. I remember when a DF'd person came in late and there were no seats in back, so they took one toward the front. Many were just outraged at the disrespect, but they were the disrespectful ones. They shouldn't be viewing some seats as the more priviliged seats. And if it was such an outrage, why were they taking up the back rows and not sitting front and center?
It's an evil policy. There is no graceful way to carry it out. The simple logistics of the official and then the unofficial rules can leave a person quite confused. Do you hold the door open for the disfellowshipped person, or let it close because you can't acknowledge them? How do you speak to a toddler that is being held by a df'd parent? Is it loving to silently accept a baby from a df'd mom and pass it around like they do? How about if a child is misbehaving and the parent is df'd. How do you comfortably warn the parent?
It's absolutely ridiculous!
NC
his reaction wasnt as liberal as i hoped it would be.
he said that we needed to discuss it.
however, gone are the days where im putting myself in the firing line and not sticking up for myself.
United Church of Christ and Unitarian Universalists will take ya without judgement. I believe they will even perform marriages or unions as the law dictates.
...i told them in a very serious sitdown in their living room....said..."because if you cant show it then it does not count...that is not real love no matter who tells you it is....because it is how it makes me feel that determines if it is love....not if you just say it...and me and my sons do not feel that love at all now"....and i stayed calm and talked slowly and barely shed a tear as i held them back...and i had asked them to not say a word but just listen...dad said they would as long as it was not about religion as i knew he would.
this was two of the worst days of my life in a row..i told them the pain me and my boys feel from their shunning is worse than if they had died...that then i could grieve naturally and move on because that is normal....grief helps you cope...my grief is different because they choose to act like i am dead and normal grief does not seem to work on that.
i shared an epiphany with them i had about mens rules vs gods great idea of dna (but no i am not sure about a god anymore)it went kinda like this:.
Here is a smile for you OOMPA.
i have become seriously addicted and think i may need help.
i keep posting comments on the independent article in response to silly jw comments.
i am surprised by the level of ignorance displayed on the simplest of doctrines and shocked by their passion.
I absolutely love it. The more they defend it, the more bizarre they appear. LOL
I've been playing a bit too.
hi everyone.
as a parting gift to you all before i take a much needed break from this forum, i thought you would be pleased to know that the independent, a leading uk newspaper, will be publishing a piece on the "mentally diseased" watchtower article in tomorrow's edition.. i would like to thank everybody who has assisted the journalist, jerome taylor, in his investigation.. best wishes to all of you,.
cedars.
Well that went nowhere. She went silent and then disappeared. ah well.
hi everyone.
as a parting gift to you all before i take a much needed break from this forum, i thought you would be pleased to know that the independent, a leading uk newspaper, will be publishing a piece on the "mentally diseased" watchtower article in tomorrow's edition.. i would like to thank everybody who has assisted the journalist, jerome taylor, in his investigation.. best wishes to all of you,.
cedars.
ogod ogod ogod. I'm getting ready to share this article with a JW. I'm actually shaking. I've never done this before.
or do they have some kind of benefit to us, such as self-preservation?.
i learned that i had another button to add to the two i already had.. my buttons are:.
questioning in a judgmental way my parenting methods.
LOL to this thread. Ahhhh buttons! There was this sister that used to push mine, and seriously, I would feel absolutely violent. I would have to hold myself back from reaching over and physically hitting her. I'm not a violent person. I don't consider physical aggression a reasonable option. But she would talk to me in such a demeaning way, AND ALWAYS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE, which is where the button really is. My heart would pound, my hands would shake, I'd grit my teeth and start breathing hard. It was crazy. I was as close to hitting her several times than I ever was with anyone anywhere.
AND THEN the bitch would start cyring and apologizing in front of EVERYONE putting me in the awkward position of offering her comfort! God I wanted to rip her hair out.
Even looking at what I just wrote kind of shocks me. I am so against violence, you'll never know. And of course, I never DID hit her. but she came close---real close. LOL
NC
