over the last couple of years i've been trying to experience activities and interests that would have been frowned upon when i was still a dub.one of the things that i've really developed a passion for is metal and hard rock, in particular metal really strikes a chord with me (pun intended).
i'm pretty much a big fan of almost anything metallica has done, i also dig a lot of the more recent groups like tool, a perfect cricle, sevendust, etc.. but there's still a lot of old school metal groups that i want to go back and listen to.
any suggestions on any good late 70's-80's metal bands?
How do you guys do quotes? Am I missing a button or something?
I'm still exploring a lot of classic rock at the moment, I really dig Led Zeppelin, Hendrix, The Doors and The Beatles. On my list of groups to listen to are the Grateful Dead, Rolling Stones and The Who. Most of the music I grew up listening to was jazz along with a few soul records. So most rock is like a new experience for me.
over the last couple of years i've been trying to experience activities and interests that would have been frowned upon when i was still a dub.one of the things that i've really developed a passion for is metal and hard rock, in particular metal really strikes a chord with me (pun intended).
i'm pretty much a big fan of almost anything metallica has done, i also dig a lot of the more recent groups like tool, a perfect cricle, sevendust, etc.. but there's still a lot of old school metal groups that i want to go back and listen to.
any suggestions on any good late 70's-80's metal bands?
Its funny you mention the Scorpions, I was just poking around on allmusic.com and I say a few references to that band. Looks like I'll have to give them a listen. Do you have a favorite album by them?
over the last couple of years i've been trying to experience activities and interests that would have been frowned upon when i was still a dub.one of the things that i've really developed a passion for is metal and hard rock, in particular metal really strikes a chord with me (pun intended).
i'm pretty much a big fan of almost anything metallica has done, i also dig a lot of the more recent groups like tool, a perfect cricle, sevendust, etc.. but there's still a lot of old school metal groups that i want to go back and listen to.
any suggestions on any good late 70's-80's metal bands?
Over the last couple of years I've been trying to experience activities and interests that would have been frowned upon when I was still a dub.One of the things that I've really developed a passion for is metal and hard rock, in particular metal really strikes a chord with me (pun intended). I'm pretty much a big fan of almost anything Metallica has done, I also dig a lot of the more recent groups like Tool, A Perfect Cricle, Sevendust, etc.. But there's still a lot of old school metal groups that I want to go back and listen to. Any suggestions on any good late 70's-80's metal bands? The only exception would be the glam and hair metal bands, I still have nightmares from seeing grown men in tights and makeup. Also I don't think I'm ready for an satanic bands just yet. Speaking of which is Black Sabbath associated with the occult? I've heard a lot of people say that Sabbath are really the pioneers of metal.
i'll start this post off by saying i love my wife, she has beautiful qualities and a sweet personality.
however i realize (and i think she does too, though she may not admit it) that since i left the org behind our goals and viewpoints are no longer unified.
as a couple we rarely fight or argue, we still have many of the same values but yet we have some issues that i know will never be fully resolved.
Wow Winston, its like you reached in my head and pulled out the things I was trying to say. I guess it really is good to talk to people who are/have been in similar situations as yourself. I've been carrying these thoughts around for so long thinking that no one really understands my situation, but its really refreshing to know that other people have travelled down the path I'm walking and have managed to make it to a positive destination. I think you summed my situation up best by describing the relationship as empty. Thats exactly what I feel many times. Since I've been out of the org I've discovered so many new things to take an interest in and become passionate about and its really frustrating not being able to share my feelings with my wife. This is not to say that some other person would automatically have the same interests as I do, but I think the big key is that being out of the org and other overly controlling religious organizations allows a person to be open minded to different experiences.
From some of my ramblings it might seem like I'm ready to sleep with lots of women and do mind altering drugs, but that's not really the kind of person I am. By nature I'm kind of a slow and deliberate person, I usually try to think about my actions and the possible consequences of them. For example before I tried grass for the first time, I literally took a couple of weeks reading up on the effects of marijuana, the pros and cons, health risks, health benefits, etc. After I took in that information I made what I felt was a well informed decision. In fact it was quite similar to the steps I took before leaving the org.
Have you ever had so many thoughts in your head that you could'nt get them all down? Thats what I feel right now, there's so many things that I want to say and express that trying to type them all out is impossible. So I'm going to cut this post short. But again thank you everyone for chipping in with your personal experiences and advice. This board really is a great tool for helping people recover from a controlling religion.
i'll start this post off by saying i love my wife, she has beautiful qualities and a sweet personality.
however i realize (and i think she does too, though she may not admit it) that since i left the org behind our goals and viewpoints are no longer unified.
as a couple we rarely fight or argue, we still have many of the same values but yet we have some issues that i know will never be fully resolved.
I think you misunderstood my post, my primary reason for wanting to leave is because of our inability to see eye to eye on raising children. The other things I mentioned are just thoughts that I have from time to time. When I first stopped attending meetings we still had plans on raising a family, but things have changed since then. I would'nt end our relationship over something trivial but for me raising children is not something I consider as being petty or easy to get over.
i'll start this post off by saying i love my wife, she has beautiful qualities and a sweet personality.
however i realize (and i think she does too, though she may not admit it) that since i left the org behind our goals and viewpoints are no longer unified.
as a couple we rarely fight or argue, we still have many of the same values but yet we have some issues that i know will never be fully resolved.
Wow, thanks for all the responses everyone. It really does help to know other people can relate to what you're going through.
As Stephoness mentioned I don't have any children as of yet and unfortunately it does'nt look like my wife and I will have kids anytime soon because of our religious conflicts. I just turned 32 this year and I've been really thinking a lot about starting a family and I don't want to wait to long. Its funny when I was younger time really did'nt mean much to me, but now I realize that I don't have as much of it as I thought I did. Sometimes I wished my wife and I fought more because then it would be easier for me to say we should go our seperate ways, but as it is we get along fairly well and there's no easy answers to our problems.
At this time I really don't want to go through any type of counseling. I've had almost 3 years to contemplate what kind of direction I want to go in for the future and I realize that it's no point in deceiving myself . Also I should clarify that even though I have an interest in dating other people I would never end our relationship soley based on my desire to have sex with someone else. It's just that now that I'm out of the org and I have the freedom to pursue things I never did before I want to share the experience with someone who can appreciate it. For example since I left the WT society behind our sphere of activities is really limited, 99% of the friends that I had before are really not interested in including me in there gatherings, picnics, etc.. The few friends I have right now are'nt witnesses so of course my wife does'nt want to associate with them. That only leaves us with a few family members to spend time with and since they are still witnesses I'm kind of held back at arm's length. So outside of a few pg rated movies and an occasional meal outside of home we really don't have a lot of options. It really kind of strains things because now that I can think for myself I'm open to new types of music, going out dancing, film festivals, plays and other related activities but my wife really scrutinizes any planned event of mine even closer. I guess her family is telling her to be extra careful because she's extremely reluctant to do even some of the things we used to do before.
Basically I just want to be happy. I want to spend time with someone and just be myself, if I want to listen to heavy metal or hiphop I don't want to have explain myself. I've experimented with grass a bit over the last couple of years and I think to myself how much pleasurable it would be if my wife would join in with me. If I want to go to a bar and have a few drinks I'd like my spouse to be right there with me, but after 7 years of marriage I realize that these things won't happen with my wife. It makes me feel guilty because she has'nt changed, I'm the one who's going through the changes and she's had to bear the brunt of it.
Well I'm going to end this post for now or else I'll have an entire book typed out. Thanks again everyone for your responses, if anyone is in the Chicago-area and wants to get together for a drink or coffee let me know. I've just recently started emerging from my hermit like status and I'd be happy to make some new aquaintances.
i'll start this post off by saying i love my wife, she has beautiful qualities and a sweet personality.
however i realize (and i think she does too, though she may not admit it) that since i left the org behind our goals and viewpoints are no longer unified.
as a couple we rarely fight or argue, we still have many of the same values but yet we have some issues that i know will never be fully resolved.
I'll start this post off by saying I love my wife, she has beautiful qualities and a sweet personality. However I realize (and I think she does too, though she may not admit it) that since I left the org behind our goals and viewpoints are no longer unified. As a couple we rarely fight or argue, we still have many of the same values but yet we have some issues that I know will never be fully resolved. The largest issue is with children, we both would like to raise kids but I could never feel comfortable knowing that any child of mine was attending the kingdom hall.
There are some other issues as well but I think above all that one is probably the biggest obstacle. And to be completely honest I feel that if it was'nt for the org's overwhelming influence I likely would'nt be married right now anyway. I feel that I missed out on a lot of valuable life experiences by doing things the "JW" way, instead of getting married so early in life I would have lived on my own for awhile and done some traveling, attended college and who knows what else. Since I've left the org I guess a part of me has been yearning to experience life on my own terms without wondering whether the elders approved of my decisions.
I feel bad for saying this but I also want to know what it would be like to have a relationship with someone other than my wife. My wife is the only person I've ever had a serious relationship with and its been many nights when I wondered about dating other people. But like I said before I do love her and I feel terrible inside about my feelings. I've mentioned some of my concerns (although not all of them) to her and about possibly wanting to go in a different direction, the result was that we both broke down in tears. It tears my heart apart for me to think about her being sad and alone, but also I realize that my own soul is being chipped away when I reflect on the fact that if I stay I forfeit many of my dreams. Not a day goes by when I'm not swaying back and forth on what I should do. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I don't want to give up on all the things that I want to do either. Then there are all the people that's involved, her parents, siblings and friends. I have to think about my Mom and my younger brother and how they might be affected. I really hate the society for what they have done to me and others in my situation. By pushing their own agenda onto people as if it were divinely inspired they have caused much pain and heartache, I feel scarred by their propaganda.
Has anyone out there been in a similar situation? How did you deal with it?
Thanks for any advice
it's been exactly 2 years since i stopped attending jw meetings and it's taken a toll on my marriage.
i expected as much but i guess you can never really prepare for the pain you have to go through when one mate no longer believes in the same things they once did.
i think my wife has honestly tried hard (as have i) to make the relationship work but i think we're both realizing that there are some really large issues before us that will never be resolved.
Glad to hear you found a common ground 95. I think I could possibly do the same if was'nt for the fact that I want to raise a family.
it's been exactly 2 years since i stopped attending jw meetings and it's taken a toll on my marriage.
i expected as much but i guess you can never really prepare for the pain you have to go through when one mate no longer believes in the same things they once did.
i think my wife has honestly tried hard (as have i) to make the relationship work but i think we're both realizing that there are some really large issues before us that will never be resolved.
Fortunately I don't have any kids. Thats actually one of our biggest issues, I really want to have children but I don't want them to be brainwashed by the religion. Of course my wife sees things the exact opposite. What makes this so difficult is that I love her, but I know we're never going to come to terms on our issues.
it's been exactly 2 years since i stopped attending jw meetings and it's taken a toll on my marriage.
i expected as much but i guess you can never really prepare for the pain you have to go through when one mate no longer believes in the same things they once did.
i think my wife has honestly tried hard (as have i) to make the relationship work but i think we're both realizing that there are some really large issues before us that will never be resolved.
I feel like the lead actor in Titanic. The cold water is closing in on me.
