Velour

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Posts by Velour

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  25

  Hello

  by Coxy1970 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences
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  Velour

  Welcome to the forum Coxy
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  30

  I have decided that I am a now a "No-Hova Witness", how about you?

  by Wasanelder Once in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've gone from being indifferent to becoming an full fledge non believer in anything much.

  i guess i'm now a "no-hova" witness.

  there's nothing about the wt or the bible for that matter that holds any importance in my life or death.

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  Velour

  After being baptized from 15-25 and pioneering 5 of those years, I left a year ago. I'm an atheist myself.

  I agree that "sisters" coming out of that organization is nothing to worry about. The fact that information is kept from us was a major reason I left. I was really discouraged and hurt that when I started to read books outside of the WT literature, I was counseled and warned like I was talking to a demon. It made me afraid for the first time that I was being brainwashed by the WT. The repetition of information at meetings, assemblies, etc. so utterly and entirely failed to give my mind stimulation and showed how mentally numb the people around me were, brainless sponges. After having been a pioneer, I realized that I couldn't go any further in the organization. I would have to marry before I could go to bethel, be a missionary, or travel within the organization. I've a mild personality but this realization really damaged my sense of pride, self esteem, and secret sense of independence. Also, the "brothers" that WERE moving up in the organization were weird. The ones that weren't, had so many "sisters" after them that, while they were good JW, they were douchebag boyfriends because they didn't have to try much. I only met 1 "eligible and good brother" out of thousands that was interesting and intelliegent. My wanting to be a good servant to jehoober actually lead to me leaving. I wanted to be excited to serve. I wanted to do more by myself for jehoober but when I had reached the pinnacle, I realized I wanted more than this organization could ever offer me.
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  13

  Do they announce when a pioneer steps down at your hall?

  by Evidently Apostate in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  during the announcements they stop to bring up an elder and he states " hairy mary is no longer a pioneer" (not a real name) in a tone very similar to a disfellowshipping.

  i have heard it twice now but only from the hall my wife attends now.. anyone else hear of this?.

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  Velour

  I was announced when I was removed as a pioneer. It was embarrassing and totally relieving all at once. I hated pioneering.
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  3

  A day in the life of a fader...

  by onemore in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so, the day is almost over, its going to be sunday in the next 2 hours.

  how did i spend my saturday now that im out of the organization....well... .

  after watching sponge bob, i went to the gym and had a nice workout, on my way home...i saw a few jws on field service.... later i met with my brother to look at some used car, after grabbing a bite, guess what?

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  Velour

  sweet =)
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  37

  Update: I got the shun at my dad's funeral- the best outcome really!!

  by Coffee House Girl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello all jwn .

  so glad to have that over with- it was surreal to walk in the kh after two years...it is just a building to me now (not "jehovah's house").

  i must say that now i'm on the outside...what a boring sad building- the people were not joyful and friendly (just older and fatter than i remember)- i got the nervous stares and shaky "hi" when i looked at all of them and said hello.. my mom was sitting all by herself in the front row of the hall...i went and sat by her side.

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  Velour

  Wow, that is an amazing poem =)

  I honestly have no words to really say about what you're going through. I've read these posts and I feel a lot of pain but not because I've been through losing a parent to physical death. I don't imagine it's anything I can relate to until I've been through it myself. I've wondered how I will handle losing my father when the time comes and how I'll deal with this cult of peddlers. I can only imagine the pain of losing a parent to death in itself and you also having the frustration of dealing with bastards is not anything I think I could handle. But I want to say thank you. You've done a great job in showing your father the proper respect and still mourning him, not like a JW robot trying to sell at every occasion, but like a flesh and blood daughter should. Thank you for a glimpse at how to navigate through a difficult sitation like this.

  I don't know how you feel but I hope you have a sense of peace while you go through this.
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  42

  Was there anything different about you that helped you escape the WT?

  by Giordano in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  for me i know it was because i was a reader.. i began reading books at the age of 13, this was in the 1950's.

  because there were some serious family problems i had two escapes i could count on reading and associating with my friends at the kingdom hall.. as i devoured steinbeck, hemingway, wolf etc.

  my world view expanded....it had to.

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  Velour

  When I was younger, I wanted to do what was right. I wanted to please people. I was just a follower.

  As I got older I realized that while I was pleasing everyone else, I was miserable. When I spent some time considering who I was and what I wanted in my future I saw that being a JW was hindering me. I switched from trying to figure out what was right to figuring out who's authority I could count on to determine what is right...which lead to me trying to figure out what is truth and what is real.

  The WT keeps people so busy that many of them, I don't think, have much time to reflect on if they're actually enjoying life (and if they realize they aren't happy they dismiss it saying, "it's worth it. I'll be happy in the paradise)...they're just running in whatever direction their situation takes them. I decided I wanted to control my life now and be happy now.
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  17

  How Did You Deal With God Destroying Non-Witness Relatives that You Loved?

  by DNCall in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  startfragment.

  so many of my non-witness relatives were, and are, good people.

  i had to do something to deal with the likelihood of their being destroyed.. those i was close to in the faith, and i, had the hope that, sometime before the end, some issue would arise that would wake up our relatives and other loved ones to the realization that they had to come into the fold.

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  Velour

  I pretty much quit talking to my non-jw family. Out of sight, out of mind.

  Today, I feel so dumb that I couldn't see how they were, in fact, the ones showing me REAL love. Despite me seeing them as Satan's Tools, they invited me to important family gatherings, wanted to share gifts with me, and I always smuggly turned down the invitations because they were trying to hinder my pure worship to god. For over 10 years they wrote to me, called me, and invited me to occassions that were important to them that they wanted to share with me, even though I was an arrogant little b*tch shoving scriptures down their throats and wearing my disgust on my sleeve.

  I FEEL SO AWFUL ABOUT IT!!!

  I've worked hard to try to repair the damage and it will take time. However, I feel so glad that I woke the f*ck up and can now embrace my family. I appreciate that they're still loving me and are so very open to having me (^_^)
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  38

  I could really use some advice :(

  by FifthOfNovember in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  okay, here's some background information.. my girlfriend is in a program at a college about 30 minutes away.

  she can only come home on the weekends and i usually go over once a week to visit.

  there is a guy there that she hangs out with quite a bit, she's mentioned how he is really nice and funny.

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  Velour

  Oh jeebus!

  She wants him when she's with him and wants you when she's with you. It sounds like she's emotionally tied up in you enough to fear losing you but she's letting the thrill of a possible new romance cloud any straight thinking.

  It should be fair of you to ask her, "when I go away in the fall how would you feel about me hanging out with another lady? How would you feel if I admitted to having feelings for her and I STILL hung out with her despite the toll I know it will take on the relationship between you and me?" If you wouldn't treat her like this because of how much you value the relationship and respect her then it should tell you that she's lacking the appreciation for it and respect for you.

  It's a 2 way road and if she's not willing to be respectful of the relationship then it's time to let her go. She'll be hurt because she's tied up emotionally with you but that's not necessarily the same as love and a desire to be in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with you.
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  49

  never looked at your names till now

  by Found Sheep in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the down side of having a name like raveen is that names don't mean anything to me.

  all people become nothing... any odd name people undesrsand?

  i was called she... you... not my name for most of my life... that made me not care what your name was.... so i don't know people i want to know!!!

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  Velour

  Cool names.

  My siblings and I all have unique names. I'm Vanity. Named after the lead singer of Vanity 6. I have 2 other siblings named after Prince (we call him by his middle name though) and Apollonia (my dad was a major Prince fan). I've 2 other sisters, Sabra and Naudia (pron. Now-dia).

  I usually use my middle name that's not AS uncommon when putting in orders because I get 2 or 3 "huh?"s when I try to tell them my first name.

  I love my name and didn't realize it's meaning until I was much older. I've been told my full name is fit for a soap opera...and I've been told I have a porn star name too, meh.
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  34

  Anniversary of my mums death....the JW robbed me of time with her and I cant forgive them.

  by Pams girl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  its been 2 years.

  she was lying in intensive care (i didnt know she only had a few days left)...... building up to the bloody convention in cardiff millenium stadium.

  yap yap yap we can take you yap yap, you need to be there yap yap, oh my head was all over the place.

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  Velour

  Oh you sweet thing! (hug)

  Forgiveness is hard. It's hard to ask for, to give, and to recieve. It's harder when it's yourself that has to ask, give, and recieve it from yourself. All of these steps take time, maybe even a life time. For all the time in-between, thought, please vent and cry and scream and write or whatever you need to do to release that pain you carry, let these natural processes lead you to the next steps.

  Big hugs darling