lisaBObeesa

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Posts by lisaBObeesa

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  16

  how are you still affected?

  by SpiceItUp in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sure there are some of us who have been "out" for years and others that are only out by their mindset but due to many reasons still have to save face.. in what ways do you still feel the hold of the wt in you?

  do you still pick out your music/movies carefully?

  does nudity and/or language still offend you to a deafening degree?

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  lisaBObeesa

  I have this same problem--although not because I feel like an 'outsider' per se--but just because I feel disdain for any 'group hype'. ANYTHING--we're talking committees, teams, whatever. I am definitely scarred for life in this department, and I need to work HARD to overcome this, because I know (logically) that I need to be able to function in groups--because great things are accomplished by some groups--I still really shy away from it.

  Exactly. That is exactly how I feel.

  They say admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery, right?

  I am really hoping so!

  -LisaBObeesa
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  57

  I Just Don't "Fit" Anywhere!

  by pettygrudger in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm sitting at work today, listening to all the different "cliques" around me, typing here on these boards a bit (don't tell), and it occurred to me again that i just don't fit.. .

  it seems like i don't "fit" anywhere.

  i'm always on the outskirts of alot of "groups", always on the fringe, but never inside.

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  lisaBObeesa

  PG,

  I identified perfectly with all you wrote! I could have written that! All except the last part about being ok with it. I’m not ok with it. It makes me sad. This is what I think all the time: “I want some friends, d@mn it! What the heck is wrong with me?!”

  So thanks for posting this and bringing up the possibility that it just might be ok to be the outsider that I always am. This is a new idea for me.

  Thank you very much!

  You know what I always wished they had? Well, you know how there are websites for meeting singles? I wish there were websites for making friends that were similar: “Hi, I’m in my 30’s, married with a couple kids, I was raised JW, but now am an ex…Looking for a friend to meet for coffee at least once a week and maybe some shopping, who would like to talk about life the universe and everything! Someone who could crack me up when I am feeling down and I could do the same for them. Someone who thinks ‘The Princess Bride’ is a funny movie. Someone who does not let their kids play ‘Grand Theft Auto 2’. If this sounds like you, lets have coffee!”

  -LisaBObeesa

  Dear 'no one':

  You fit in here. Please post more! Your poem broke my heart. I hope you are not thinking of suicide!
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  32

  Would you ever come back for someone you loved?

  by micheal in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if there was someone you were crazy about who went back to associating with jw's again and they asked you to come back too, only because to live dividedly for the rest your life would be just too hard and awkward.

  keep in mind your role would be very limited, few meetings a month, couple hrs service a month etc.. i know "if" this was before me i would feel that i would never ever want to come back.

  i don't believe it is the truth, can't stand the control among other reasons.

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  lisaBObeesa

  My love for a woman would be stronger than my love for the organization and I would follow her anywhere unconditionally.

  But what about your love for yourself?
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  31

  My family gave a great witness at my little sister's wedding...NOT!

  by laylaluv in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been on this site many times and i didn't decide to post anything until this past weekend.

  (july 18,19,&20) i wanted to share with all of you what happened this weekend.. i was my little sister's wedding.

  the one who ran away from home at age 16 and the judge gave me custody.

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  lisaBObeesa

  Great Post!

  I told her that it only made me resolve again in my heart never to come back to a religion like that. I told her that God didn't want anyone to be shunned. My siblings were only doing what the organization wants them to do. I told her that God was love and I didn't need three elders telling me I was forgiven for my sins. I also told her that if I needed three elders to tell me I was forgiven, then Jesus should have never sacrificed his life for our sins.

  Great job! Sounds like you really kept your cool! I wish I could stay calm like that and tell them what I think.

  I am sorry you had to go through all that shunning, though.

  Welcome!

  -LisaBObeesa
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  16

  how are you still affected?

  by SpiceItUp in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sure there are some of us who have been "out" for years and others that are only out by their mindset but due to many reasons still have to save face.. in what ways do you still feel the hold of the wt in you?

  do you still pick out your music/movies carefully?

  does nudity and/or language still offend you to a deafening degree?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  lisaBObeesa

  Oh yeah. I am just starting to realize how the JWs put this idea in my head that taking care of myself is selfish. And that suffering is good. I think I kinda built my life on this stupid idea . I just made a post about it called “The JW martyr complex?”

  I believe in God and want to find a nice Church, but I just can’t. I can’t attend any one church more than once or twice.

  And I can’t ‘join’ any group. I mean any group. It is like in a way I am still cut off from the rest of the world. I am different. I am not one of them. I am ‘outside.’

  I am judgmental. I am terribly, terribly judgmental. And the scary thing is, I used to me MORE judgmental!

  Oh, and I’m really hard on myself.

  -LisaBObeesa
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  8

  Did your kids wise up before you did?

  by GentlyFeral in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ....don't really know how to phrase my question any better than that.. see, i left when my daughter was 12 and my son was 19. but they were both ready to leave years before that!.

  at 17, my son heard a talk about conforming to the borg.

  "don't put any energy into being different," the speaker said.

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  lisaBObeesa

  Well, I was the kid who was ready to leave the JWs long before my parents. Does that qualify for this thread? Sorta?

  I doubted for so many reasons. When I was in elementary school, I realized that some very good people would never, ever become JWs because they honestly did not believe in it. Good people who would not become JWs?? How could that BE?

  I also thought a lot of the teaching sounded just too farfetched. It was so crazy and convoluted. Yet at the same time, they said all these teachings were very easy to see in the Bible if you just looked. If it is so ‘easy to see’ then why didn’t I see it? Why did none of the other Christian religions come even close to it? It seems like they would have come close to it, right?

  The moment I knew I would never be baptized: One day I told my friend about my doubts. She was the fourth generation JW with anointed grandparents and an elder father. I was about 12 years old and I told her my doubts about the crazy 144,000 teaching and other things.

  She said, “You know Lisa, I have had those same doubts. But my dad told me something that really helped me,”

  “What?” I asked

  “Well, he told me just to not think about it and Jehovah would make the doubts go away! It worked! Just don’t think about it, Lisa.”

  I remember going out in service with her later that same day and feeling sick to my stomach.

  From then on, could not wait to get out of the JWs.

  I left as soon as I turned 18. But while I was a teen, I planted some seeds with my mom. Several years later, she left. Maybe I had a little part in that.

  -LisaBobeesa
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  21

  The JW Martyr Complex?

  by lisaBObeesa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  like my mother before me, im a martyr.

  i am almost unable to make a choice based on what is best for me.

  and of course this has over time made me a depressed, bitter person who, much to my horror, explodes with rage from time to time.

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  lisaBObeesa

  Thanks for your replies and encouragement. I knew you all would know what I mean.

  I have been out of the JWs for years, both mentally and physically. But I am just now realizing how much it has made me the person I am today. I have always tried to be ‘good,’ and to me that meant always putting myself last. And now at 34, I don’t feel so good. I’ve made myself sick with all the little resentments packed down inside.

  My life was not based on the theology of the JWs, but it sure was based on the psychology of the JWs!

  It all has to go! Time to unpack every last old resentment and then let them all go. Time to stop feeling guilty.

  Time to BE ME.

  -Lisa
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  16

  How Many Young People That You Knew Are Still Active JW's???

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  most of the jw young people that i have known are either inactive, irregular, or "out of the truth" completely.

  very, very few are still associated as witnesses now.

  are there any zealous young people out there anymore??

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  lisaBObeesa

  Here is a Hall of Fame thread from a few years ago about this very topic!

  check it out!

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/10417/1.ashx

  (ps don't you think we should have a Hall of Fame for threads?)
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  9

  A few statistics on divorce in the US

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  adults between 25 and 34 years old never married in 1998:

  percentage of people that married under the age of 20 who eventually get divorced as of 1995:

  percentage of people that married over the age of 25 who eventually get divorced as of 1995:

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  lisaBObeesa

  JW's divorce rate is of 6% in the U.S.

  What is the rate when you figure in all the JWs like my brother and his wife who are separated (have been for years), but are not 'free' to divorce? -LisaBObeesa
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  21

  The JW Martyr Complex?

  by lisaBObeesa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  like my mother before me, im a martyr.

  i am almost unable to make a choice based on what is best for me.

  and of course this has over time made me a depressed, bitter person who, much to my horror, explodes with rage from time to time.

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  lisaBObeesa

  Oh, crap! Am I being a martyr in that post while I am talking about being a martyr?? lol