Hi Samuel. As Zoos said, your English is very good. You should be proud that you realized within two years that you're on a path you'd rather not be on. You're young, and have a long life ahead of you. You can't change the past, but have today, and the future. You don't have to waste any more worrying about a tomorrow that may never come.
Life, and the world, is full of beauty. Babbling brooks, a gentle breeze, a night around a crackling campfire, all the wonders of nature and it's creatures. Each one, getting along, day by day. None worrying. May you find the path you want to follow. Thank you for sharing your journey.