Sad thing that you heard from your Dad, your husband, through his Dad, but haven't heard from the elders who want to to talk to you...unless your Dad is an elder. Even if he were/is, how did your husband's Dad find out? Is the entire congregation going to hear about it before you, and isn't there a rule about gossiping and spreading such news?
I'm sorry your inlaws treat you the way they do. Hope that some day you will find people who value you and treat you the way you deserve for the way you are, not what they expect you to be. Though it's a reflection on them, not you, it's still sad that you have to endure such treatment.