Posts by wyorobert

24

The first Jehovah's Witness I ever met is now my wife.

by wyorobert in

our story like many of yours is way too crazy and long to tell.

the short version is that i was crazy about my wife from the minute i met her.

she seemed to like me and before we had time to think about anything, she left her husband and religion and moved in with me.

wyorobert

Rocky,

Good luck. I know how hard it is going to be on you. Early on, I didn't think my wife would stay, and the one thing that drove me crazy was thinking about the idea that they wouldn't ever let her talk to me again and she would eventually see me as the bad guy and not the one who rescued her. I don't envy what you will face eventually.

I am a Secular Humanist, but try to respect evryone's beliefs who are willing to give me the same courtesy. I am curious to know your religious background, but understand if you don't want to share that information.

24

The first Jehovah's Witness I ever met is now my wife.

by wyorobert in

our story like many of yours is way too crazy and long to tell.

the short version is that i was crazy about my wife from the minute i met her.

she seemed to like me and before we had time to think about anything, she left her husband and religion and moved in with me.

wyorobert

Nickolas, Thanks again for the link. Very interesting reading. I am struck by this statement:

If she suffered from dementia, I would stay with her. If she broke her neck or had a stroke and needed 24 hour care, I would stay with her. That's just the way it is. Maybe someday she'll wake up.

I spent 18 years in a marriage I knew was a mistake the very next morning after the wedding. I realized very quickly that my ex-wife had a serious mental illness. I didn't have the heart to leave her for exactly the reason's you state above. Eighteen years and two children later, I left her because I realized I wasn't doing her any good and it was taking too much of a toll on me and everyone else. The dumbest think I ever did was stay in that relationship for the reason's you just stated. For the next 10 years after the divorce I still looked after her every need. At some point I realized that trying to do what I thought was right had the opposite affect on everyone. There is a point in time when it is okay to worry about yourself. I always put everyone first. I finally realized that allowing myself to put me first made me stronger and better able to help other people. Looking back, I now realize that getting my divorce was the happiest day in my life. It took a lot to give myself permission to do what was right for me. I'm not giving advice, especially not here, but I do understand where you are coming from.

24

The first Jehovah's Witness I ever met is now my wife.

by wyorobert in

our story like many of yours is way too crazy and long to tell.

the short version is that i was crazy about my wife from the minute i met her.

she seemed to like me and before we had time to think about anything, she left her husband and religion and moved in with me.

wyorobert

Rocky, Unfortunately I think you are right. So what is the next step? It sounds like you have to save yourself. She sounds like a wonderful person. I understand your financial ties, but also think you are postponing the inevitable. I am surprised at how accepting her family and congregation seem to be of you. They must think you are about to join.

24

The first Jehovah's Witness I ever met is now my wife.

by wyorobert in

our story like many of yours is way too crazy and long to tell.

the short version is that i was crazy about my wife from the minute i met her.

she seemed to like me and before we had time to think about anything, she left her husband and religion and moved in with me.

wyorobert

Nickolas,

Thanks for the link, I'm new at this, so any help is appreciated.

24

The first Jehovah's Witness I ever met is now my wife.

by wyorobert in

our story like many of yours is way too crazy and long to tell.

the short version is that i was crazy about my wife from the minute i met her.

she seemed to like me and before we had time to think about anything, she left her husband and religion and moved in with me.

wyorobert

Rocky, Thanks for your story. Your story could have very easily been mine. In my case time was my best friend and sites like this as well as books like "I'm Perfect Your doomed" and Barbara Anderson's experiences etc., eventually made her see things clearly. It didn't happen overnight and as recently as a few years ago I said I would have to leave her if she ever went back. That statement upset her at the time, but I told her it would be impossible for us to have a relationship in that environment. Not to mention being still a bit over sensitive to the Mormon world and knowing the kind of discussions I would have with the members. The Elders also told me that if she knew I could never become a Witness and married me anyway, that she would never be allowed back.

Unfortunately, you can't be in a relationship with a Witness, without being subject to their rules. I hope for your sake that something happens and she finds her way out.

24

The first Jehovah's Witness I ever met is now my wife.

by wyorobert in

our story like many of yours is way too crazy and long to tell.

the short version is that i was crazy about my wife from the minute i met her.

she seemed to like me and before we had time to think about anything, she left her husband and religion and moved in with me.

wyorobert

Black sheep, How is your story the opposite? Just curious.

24

The first Jehovah's Witness I ever met is now my wife.

by wyorobert in

our story like many of yours is way too crazy and long to tell.

the short version is that i was crazy about my wife from the minute i met her.

she seemed to like me and before we had time to think about anything, she left her husband and religion and moved in with me.

wyorobert

Satanas, I had exactly the same feeling as you expressed. I told my wife that I couldn't have my life dictated by a grocery store clerk. One of my reason's for leaving the Mormon religion is because I felt like my ex-wife was married to the church. I didn't want to travel that road again.

On the way, My wife's father was disfellowshipped, but went back recently. We talked about the suicide thing a lot and his impression was that it would be better for someone to commit suicide than to leave. Not his feelings but his interpretation. I agree completely that the two religions are the same but different. I'm the only one in my entire family, including my children who is no longer a Mormon. Regardless of what my wife and I do, we are impacted by both religions on some level. My wife isn't suicidal in any way, but she felt like she was drowning and couldn't allow herself to blame her religion. It is to her credit I think, that she recognized that she had to do something drastic, to change her life in order to save herself.

Aussie & Little Imp, I would love to hear more of your stories.

24

The first Jehovah's Witness I ever met is now my wife.

by wyorobert in

our story like many of yours is way too crazy and long to tell.

the short version is that i was crazy about my wife from the minute i met her.

she seemed to like me and before we had time to think about anything, she left her husband and religion and moved in with me.

wyorobert

Thanks for the welcome and for the input. Sorry for posting this in the wrong place. Our biggest challenge was in the first year. The guilt was killing her.

She was telling her Mom and others she felt suicidal, while in the religion. In an odd way the religion seems to accept suicide as a better option than leaving and dismisses everything by telling people they should just do a better job of being a witness and those feelings will leave. In the early months after I realized she had given up everything to be with me ( her words on the second night ) I asked for a meeting with the Elders to see how she could go back. She listened from the basement and what they told me did not come close to matching the scripture they quoted. I think giving her the option of going back is why she stayed. I wrote a scathing letter to the Elders telling them that they weren't even following their own rules and they had blocked her path back. I will admit that I thought they weren't a good influence on her and I knew the letter would keep them away. It seems to have worked and the fact that she is happy is just killing them. Her Mom only asked about her once and when she did she was told she was very happy. In all of these years not one other word asking about her daughter.

24

The first Jehovah's Witness I ever met is now my wife.

by wyorobert in

our story like many of yours is way too crazy and long to tell.

the short version is that i was crazy about my wife from the minute i met her.

she seemed to like me and before we had time to think about anything, she left her husband and religion and moved in with me.

wyorobert

Our story like many of yours is way too crazy and long to tell. The short version is that I was crazy about my wife from the minute I met her. She seemed to like me and before we had time to think about anything, she left her husband and religion and moved in with me. To the J.W.'s complete dismay, she wrote a letter and dissassociated herself to avoid a JC the next day.

After a divorce and two failed long term relationships, I knew better than to commit my life to someone I barely knew. I should mention that there was a 20 year age difference and should also say that I grew up in the Mormon religion. I promised her I would fix things with her family, but of course I had no idea what I was up against. Now it is seven years later and we're still crazy about each other. I would love to hear from others like me who woke up in a strange new world, and became instantly impacted by a religion they knew nothing about. A few months after we moved in together, she asked me to go to the District Convention. What I heard there completely blew my mind. That was the first time I really understood what I was up against and what she was up against. Ultimately, the similarities of our upbringing helped a lot.

I would love to hear if there are others like me, who are here because they were/are impacted by the JW world because they married a former JW.

79

Why I no longer believe the Bible is "God's Word" and I no longer believe in "God"

by lifeisgood in

jw
friends

i became a christain at the age of 9. not by going to a church or asking a preacher to baptize me, or anything like that.

i started reading my mother's king james bible cover to cover at the age of 8. my father was very abusive and when he was abusing me, i would close my eyes and pray.

i never hated my father, which is one good thing i got out of prayer.. when i turned 13 i became a lay preacher and traveled, on my own, preaching in any church that would let me.. when i was 15 i studied with the jws and was baptized after four months of study.. i was a zealous christain but not a zealous jw, according to them.

wyorobert

Life is good,

I agree with your posts for the most part and came to many of the same conclusions. It is really the only conclusion one can come to if you use a logical approach and remove myth from reality.

Note to Tammy,

I've met people from all different religioins and faiths and I have to say the most honest, enlightened, compassionate person I ever met grew up with no religion. I think it is great that you can draw on someone you see as an example, but I doubt it gives you an edge over anyone else. Since you never met the person written about in the Bible, it seems likely that you are worshiping a figment of your imagination. I don't think there is any historical proof that he existed. I personally think he did, but doubt that he is anything like the person you imagine.