Try meditation\Self hypnosis, it helped me and there are tons of videos on youtube these days. Some are better than others try a few till you find a couple that work. And if they stop working find some new ones. And don't expect your first few times to be successful.
If you are still scared of hypnosis from being a jw learn about it a bit more because it is nothing like what the Watchtower describes.
Read "a practical guide to self-hypnosis" by melvin powers. It is free on Amazon and Itunes and demystifies hypnosis. No, the demons won't attack you if you hypnotize yourself in fact you go into a hypnotic trance on a regular basis without even knowing it.
I felt the same way for a long time What I needed to figure out was how to put me first because everyone is out for themselves. If they are doing something nice for you they are getting something out of it. Even if that something is just feeling good about themselves for helping someone.* I don't mean that in a cynical way it is just human nature. It is up to you to figure out what you need and get it and stop thinking you have to please other people. The jdubs have it hammered into their heads all the time that they have to please Jehovah by acting a certain way and that is hard habit to break when you are in the real world. It is very hard to get in the habit of doing what is best for you. But once you do you won't care about the so called leaders because you will know what is best for you and you will do that.
There are a number of Tony Robin's videos on youtube and I find his idea to associate your good emotions with things you want and associate bad emotions with things you want to stop doing very interesting. Listen to the Awaken The Giant Within video. He has some good advice on how to stop the mental chatter.
Why am I sharing this with you? Because it makes me feel good to help someone else overcome the same problems I had and hopefully do it more quickly than I did.
*Parents with their children might be the exception to this rule. I have no kids of my own but I have had people make a convincing argument for it.