ThinkerBelle

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Posts by ThinkerBelle

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  37

  Kids being disfellowshipped

  by Nikki collins in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so some ex-jws and i were at dinner last night talking about how some of the ones baptized this year were so young.

  a few under the age of 10!!

  can you imagine if a kid got dfd at that age.... would the congregation shun them?

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  ThinkerBelle

  Hmm, interesting. Maybe it was a regional thing.
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  37

  Kids being disfellowshipped

  by Nikki collins in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so some ex-jws and i were at dinner last night talking about how some of the ones baptized this year were so young.

  a few under the age of 10!!

  can you imagine if a kid got dfd at that age.... would the congregation shun them?

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  ThinkerBelle

  Does anyone know when they started allowing children to be baptized? I know my mother said you had to be 18 in the 60s/70s. When was that lifted?
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  30

  Why do CO's refuse to strip Elders of their position?

  by Tenacious in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  in several congregations i attended many elders were downright evil and flat out drunk with power.. many times i personally knew of things done by them that would have been a disfellowshipping offense had they not been elders.

  and even though many times these issues and spiritual atrocities were reported to the co's and hq they would many times (if not all the time), get off with a mere slap on the wrist or a forced apology.. why do you believe elders are so protected?.

  my theory is the authority integrity within the congregation.

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  ThinkerBelle

  I do agree that there are elders that are definitely in it for the power and control and I have seen my fair share of incidences that were looked over or swept under the carpet through the years - especially as an elders kid. However, I have seen the contrary. In a neighboring town, a whole congregation body was removed sans one by the CO because they were dealing harshly and emotionally with the cong. These were the elders we saw on the assembly programs always and finally a no BS CO came through and said no more. They brought in other elders from the surrounding area. I have also seen removals as well of individual elders. So, I think it just depends on the area ("we" have major growth right now) and the men coming through.
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  38

  Do You Have A Negative Outlook Because You Were Once A JW?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it could be argued that exjws have issues in life simply because they were jehovah’s witnesses at a point in their lives.

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  do you think you or we are fairly normal considering we were jehovah’s witnesses or do you think we have a lot of baggage because we are a bit messed up ( even if we don’t even know it)?.

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  ThinkerBelle

  Short answer - No, but I've never been a negative person.

  IMO, I see more negativity in the JWs than anyone in my worldly life, especially from parents. I do get those pangs of guilt of having stayed with the religion so long when celebrating with my kids as Baihi mentioned. My eldest kids were partially raised in it for several years and I regret not having those memories with them as young kids as well as not celebrating with family that are not JW (several members being gone now). I also look back on sone relationships and how I would have treated then differently haf I known what I know now, but Ce la vie. I live in the now and make the most of everything so there is no room for negative thinking.
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  23

  Those that need to see a Therapist / and those that don`t is there a correlation of the two ?

  by smiddy3 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  there have been a number of threads / posts here over the years about ex jw`s needing to see therapists for what they are going through , and i can appreciate that.. obviously there are many ex jw`s on here that haven`t ever felt the need to see a therapist ,and i`m just wondering why not ?.

  why does one feel the need and another does not ?.

  is it to do with born ins as against those who were converts ?

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  ThinkerBelle

  I think there are a lot of emotional and environmental factors that would contribute to whether someone would see a therapist or can work it out on their own.

  For me personally, I was a born-in, elders kid. I could recite the dogma mostly and defend it if needed, but I never "took it to heart". As I woke, I didn't have the emotions or withdrawal that many do experience; I just started living for me instead of the organization. My best friend who faded had a much harder time and did talk to a counselor; there was a stronger emotional attachment to the org than I ever had. Technically, I'm still PIMO for family (SO is not one though) until I can fade out. I consider myself a diest at this point.

  The hardest part for me was not feeling guilt during holidays/birthdays. It's not the guilt associated with the celebration, but that being PIMO means I have to be careful, so I would avoid certain things with my kids that were more public or always scanning a store before buying supplies/decor. I think that will fade with time, so no therapist needed.
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  12

  New Study Claims Children Raised Without Religious Indoctrination show More Empathy and Kindess

  by fulltimestudent in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  there is a controversial claim in this article, quite different to what christians usually claim.

  it interested me, as i often wondered how as jws we could claim to be loving and kind (and certainly some were) yet, be quite callous about those who rejected our message.. you can find this story on this research at:.

  https://www.patheos.com/blogs/danthropology/2015/11/study-finds-that-children-raised-without-religion-show-more-empathy-and-kindness/?fbclid=iwar3zhgjsc_valeb8csd4usq9hyu34goemdj6s3yllnmsdvoy9pnkpzojyz0.

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  ThinkerBelle

  Genetic makeup, environment, and culture all play a role in how empathetic someone is. To say atheists are more so than religious zealots is far fetched in my eyes without considering other factors. I have known plenty of believers and non believers who had tyrant children that were self absorbed and those from both that are altruistic.
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  16

  married young--in the cult--divorced ?

  by stan livedeath in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  following on from mrquik's thread.... who of us married at an early age to another j-dub ?

  how long did the marriage last?.

  how did it end ?.

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  ThinkerBelle

  Met at 15, both elders kids, married on a whim just before I was 19, he was 18. He got disfellowshipped while we were engaged so we went to the courthouse and got married before it was announced...such a scandal!!

  It was also a massive mistake! He never came back and had numerous affairs and found out later had messed around with other "loose" witness girls before we wed. We divorced after 3.5 years. I married soon after to current husband, not jw while disfellowshipped. Still married with kids, pimo for family.
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  9

  Is there no Mid Week Meeting, April 15 -21, this week because of the Memorial?

  by Acluetofindtheuser in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  pimo here.. i must have missed an announcement or something because there is no workbook online for this week.

  are they cancelling the mid week meetings between april 15 - 21 because of the friday memorial?.

  i don't want to text anyone that i know so i'll ask you guys.

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  ThinkerBelle

  Both meetings are cancelled here. There is a video online that's supposed to be watched before the memorial along with the Bible reading...or something like that, I don't really pay close enough attention anymore. 😂
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  11

  He went to the meeting today!

  by HappyBlessedFree in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  so after almost 5 months of not attending meeting, today my husband decided to attend the special talk.

  i am sad, frustrated, nervous, but also hopeful that he will see something that he never did before .

  lies and manipulation.

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  ThinkerBelle

  Fedup hit the nail on the head. I was sitting their baffled how anyone can't see through this. I can't wait to see Lloyd rip this one apart. It's all about organization control, it's not about Jah/Jesus anymore.
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  29

  Funeral Fashion

  by ThinkerBelle in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i have a funeral to attend for a non jw family member and the jdub family member reminded me that i should not wear black.

  for the life of me, i can't recall where this belief came from in jw teachings and i'm born in.

  is there something in print or is that just a personal opinion belief?

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  ThinkerBelle

  I love how they spew off details but never a citation.

  It is a non JW funeral and nobody there will be a JW which us why said family thinks we should properly represent the Big Guy. They didn't want to even go at first because of it being a church, but I mentioned that I'm not concerned and they changed the mind.

  I just think it's so ridiculous how it's ok to wear black any other time, but, nope, not at a funeral because it may give the wrong impression. Kinda like when said family said I can't eat turkey on Thanksgiving....like what? If I only eat turkey sandwiches every other day of the year, why should it matter...the unreasonableness is real with this group.