Posts by Tapioca

54

According to one JW there can only be 1 of 3 reasons why you left.

by Bonsai in

i asked an old jw friend of mine why so many baptized individuals leave the jw religion.

"did it ever occur to you, old friend, that maybe they know something that you don't know and have valid reasons for leaving?

", i asked.. his response set me back for an answer.

Tapioca

I have to agree with JeffT. Who has done a qualitative/quantitative study of ex-JWs? From what I've seen on everyone else's post---and from my own experience (and that of my friends)---the anecdotal evidence points to other reasons for motivation to leave the borg. Maybe sexual repression and pride are catalysts for the change, but the reasons for the change involve character and morals and deeply held life-views. We feel a great freedom in following our own moral compass rather than simply blindly obeying old white men who have told us that they represent the creator (ha!).

Sometimes I think that people don't even know the reasons they leave, well, at least not at first. This would make an excellent topic for a doctoral dissertation, or a master's thesis in organizational behavior, yes? After the research, then we could identify which motivations seem to appear more often than any others. Maybe even do a longitudinal study, i.e. follow several people for many years. I'll bet that would be some kind of paper!

25

This Thursday they are going to announce my disfellowshipping and I don't give a $%^&

by Harvard Illiterate 411 in

hubby is on my team.

i know i'm going to be way happier.

i might even meet up with the apostafest in colorado with you guys.

Tapioca

Congratulations on both the df and the caring--not so much! All that you accomplish in your future will be considered decisions instead of reaction to guilt and shaming! It's pretty amazing stuff! Especially with your partner in your corner.

56

A fresh start

by FormerlySandL in

after the worst introduction i could ever make on the forum i would like to reintroduce myself and make a fresh start on the forum and hopefully over time i will be able to redeem myself.

i have changed my user name which was over dramatic and ridiculous in the cold light of day but for transparency and to show i am not trying to hide anything i have adapted the original name and it now has a more positive feel.

after reading a lot of posts on this forum i am feeling more optimistic about my future.

Tapioca

S'NL: Welcome. Rebel gave some mighty practical advice. Take that list and customize it for your own use. You will need to think ahead so that your actions in the present tense will lead you to your future tense goals. Local and regional governments offer the best chance for you to latch on to some higher education/training and you can look up what's available online or check with local agencies or librarians to assist with research.

Many of us had to walk a path that took years to complete, but you will be just fine. We're all here to help you and to challenge you! We want you to be successful at this fading business but it's not for the faint of heart, I assure you! One thing that really helped me was to move away. I tried to move locally, but I was not successful at that time. Then I bided my time, organized myself, and moved some distance away. It was quite liberating.

Your reading older threads and thinking about them will be a consolation for you as you start replacing the false and insincere friends with new acquaintances, new ways of looking at things, and a different outlook. A remarkable journey is just ahead. You got this.

44

Brothers - Reach Out for a Fine Work!

by cappytan in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c1ixarr31y.

they must really be having issues finding brothers to slave for the org..

Tapioca

O.M.G. I cannot believe this. The toilet was a stroke.

27

Assembly today, Survival Tips and Recommendations Please!

by Blackfalcon98 in

jw
friends

so there's an indoctrination session tomorrow......any tips for getting through with my sanity intact?

Tapioca

Use the time to start your book.

64

What triggered your doubts / awakening?

by Tornintwo in

i am sort of new here, used a different username for a while but things got 'difficult' at home so i've since been lurking.... what i would be really interested to know, if you don't mind sharing, is what it was that triggered your doubts and initial research which led to awakening, was it a bad experience, injustice, changed doctrine?

for me, it was seeing mistreatment of young ones in the congregation, they're under so much pressure and as soon as they go even slightly astray they are shunned, either informally (as bad associations which pushes them further into the 'world') or formally - with elders dying to throw the book at them so they even lose their family.... ...then reading about child abuse issues in the press.... ...which led me to silentlambs.

...then jw facts, this forum and coc, wham!

Tapioca

Two main things: First, I had kids and felt like you, Torn. There was a lot of mistreatment of JW children that I observed and experienced (born-in 3rd gen). Second, I got a copy of COC and discovered that not only did the organization get it wrong on many documented occasions, but you could disagree with the org without being disagreeable. I was struck by the even-toned narrative of RFranz who highlighted the most distressing events without devolving into a rant. I'm not that good. I've taken some minor "stands" with my family, but they know my temperament and generally try to de-escalate the situation. Most all of my family on both sides are still in. It makes me sick.

11

Wife just went to circuit meeting

by menrov in

hi, for a couple of months now.

i stopped (after some 17 years) visiting meetings etc.

my intellect and conscience could not longer stand the lectures from the platform and in the magazines.

Tapioca

If it is truly your view that the woman should submit to your wishes and not doing so is disobeying/disrespecting her husband, then I suggest you spend some more quality time with that "intellect" and "conscience" you mentioned. You cannot choose to liberate her from the borg by using the tactics the borg uses to treat women and children like slaves or worse.

76

Active posters: What education have you had, what degrees do you possess?

by EndofMysteries in

jw
friends

from so many posts and conversations on here, you'd think over 1/2 the posters here possess doctorates in theology, physics, biology, etc.

i'm curious aside from the books and research people have done here, what degrees they have.

to start, i just got an aa and going straight through full time to an mba.

Tapioca

As I was fading, I went to college, so I did the BS, MBA, and doctoral route. I would encourage everyone to adopt the attitude of being a life-long learner.

19

Thoughts on "Going Clear," the Scientology Documentary

by OnTheWayOut in

jw
friends

i managed to find a copy of "going clear" on the internet.

i won't post a link because most are loaded with pop-ups and you have to be careful about accidental downloads.

mine was no exception, but i managed to keep the computer clean.

Tapioca

I don't know whether or not I can even bring myself to watch "Going Clear." I really appreciate hearing some of the most remarkable points observed by others. But deep in my gut, I get a sick feeling about this cult and the JDubs. It's almost a visceral reaction. Thanks for the posts from those who have read/viewed. Whew.

It's so scary and so dangerous to be convinced of your own infallibility. How smug and self-righteous they all are--even the leaders don't question the deep mysteries of the universe and our existence. You are right OTWO. It's frightening to think that having "all the answers" is possible.

In reading some of others' experiences on this site, I am so saddened. What a terrible waste of years and lives. We have to think that we are being good examples for someone, somewhere, who will consider our paths and what we have said...I have my own goals in this regard. It's a good thing to bring these cults to light for what they are. But right now, it's seems so sad that such foolishness thrives.

4

Discussion with my wife

by New day in

jw
friends

i had an interesting conversation with my wife today.

she revealed that she had been deeply hurt by bros and sis reactions to her as she has not been to meetings for a while due to physical and emotional probs.

when she meets jws in the street they cannot cope with her and are often very cool towards her.

Tapioca

Very perceptive of you to see the difference in points of view (yours and hers), generally and, in this case, specifically. You call if an interesting conversation, TheListener calls it a Great conversation, and Butyoucanneverleave calls it "questioning." This is marvelous! Fantastic! Outstanding that you can have those kinds of conversations and you are able to see their not-so-hidden meaning and their possibilities. You really have a good thing going there and I agree that the more seriously understanding you are and the more accepting of her real personality you can be--there's your strength/sweet spot. Good luck with continued conversations on these matters! Her ttatt may look different from yours.