Tapioca

Joined

• started 1 topics
• posted 49 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by Tapioca

• 
  8

  You Need to Heal

  by TheLiberator in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  it has been awhile since i posted.

  but i wanted to say a few things that may help those recovering from the watchtower, especially if you have just discovered ttatt.

  it is with humility that i come here to express these thoughts.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tapioca

  YOU MUST ALLOW TIME TO PASS IN ORDER TO HEAL.

  This is so important. oh my, we look at the "wasted" weeks, months, years, decades...we become impatient. TIME is not our enemy. It is our friend. Unfortunately, we have so many TIME constraints that we sometimes want to throw them off in order to be free. But there isn't any telescoping (shrinking) our basic needs for introspection and healing. We have to do the work. We have to take the time.

  TheLiberator, you are so doing the right thing! Have fun with those grandchildren! Take all the time you need and allow others around you to see how much you are enjoying this time...YOUR TIME. In order to heal. Cheers!
  
  
• 
  16

  Christmas is Coming!

  by Drifting Away in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so, this will be a time of much confusion.

  being a born in, and wanting to celebrate my first christmas is confusing, nerve wracking, and difficult to comprehend.

  how have others dealt with there first christmas after leaving?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tapioca

  You get things started in a thoughtful way, and oh-my-gosh...your kids are going to love it! They will totally take it away for you. Congratulations on the big step! Wonderful!
• 
  24

  Your work is not in vain! Thank You!

  by de-opresso-liber in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  been lurking since early this year.

  there are many of us out there (at least in this area, central u.s.) who are waking up and crossing the line to talk to each other about it.

  in our area, several elders, ministerial servants and pioneers are actively and openly sharing info with each other daily.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tapioca

  Welcome to reality, and thanks for the feedback regarding this forum. It IS so helpful to be able to read the experiences of others and the distilled wisdom (sometimes masquerading as wise-cracks!) from others' lives. I have near and dear relatives who recently woke up and left. OMG. The vituperative reaction from family and "friends" in the borg only served to cement their decision and reveal it as their best move ever. Reactions were so hateful and vindictive that those who now know TTATT will never go back.

  Won't it be fun for you to finally experience life as it is meant to be lived!? Wonderful!
• 
  54

  According to one JW there can only be 1 of 3 reasons why you left.

  by Bonsai in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i asked an old jw friend of mine why so many baptized individuals leave the jw religion.

  "did it ever occur to you, old friend, that maybe they know something that you don't know and have valid reasons for leaving?

  ", i asked.. his response set me back for an answer.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tapioca

  I have to agree with JeffT. Who has done a qualitative/quantitative study of ex-JWs? From what I've seen on everyone else's post---and from my own experience (and that of my friends)---the anecdotal evidence points to other reasons for motivation to leave the borg. Maybe sexual repression and pride are catalysts for the change, but the reasons for the change involve character and morals and deeply held life-views. We feel a great freedom in following our own moral compass rather than simply blindly obeying old white men who have told us that they represent the creator (ha!).

  Sometimes I think that people don't even know the reasons they leave, well, at least not at first. This would make an excellent topic for a doctoral dissertation, or a master's thesis in organizational behavior, yes? After the research, then we could identify which motivations seem to appear more often than any others. Maybe even do a longitudinal study, i.e. follow several people for many years. I'll bet that would be some kind of paper!
• 
  25

  This Thursday they are going to announce my disfellowshipping and I don't give a $%^&

  by Harvard Illiterate 411 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hubby is on my team.

  i know i'm going to be way happier.

  i might even meet up with the apostafest in colorado with you guys.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tapioca

  Congratulations on both the df and the caring--not so much! All that you accomplish in your future will be considered decisions instead of reaction to guilt and shaming! It's pretty amazing stuff! Especially with your partner in your corner.
• 
  56

  A fresh start

  by FormerlySandL in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  after the worst introduction i could ever make on the forum i would like to reintroduce myself and make a fresh start on the forum and hopefully over time i will be able to redeem myself.

  i have changed my user name which was over dramatic and ridiculous in the cold light of day but for transparency and to show i am not trying to hide anything i have adapted the original name and it now has a more positive feel.

  after reading a lot of posts on this forum i am feeling more optimistic about my future.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tapioca

  S'NL: Welcome. Rebel gave some mighty practical advice. Take that list and customize it for your own use. You will need to think ahead so that your actions in the present tense will lead you to your future tense goals. Local and regional governments offer the best chance for you to latch on to some higher education/training and you can look up what's available online or check with local agencies or librarians to assist with research.

  Many of us had to walk a path that took years to complete, but you will be just fine. We're all here to help you and to challenge you! We want you to be successful at this fading business but it's not for the faint of heart, I assure you! One thing that really helped me was to move away. I tried to move locally, but I was not successful at that time. Then I bided my time, organized myself, and moved some distance away. It was quite liberating.

  Your reading older threads and thinking about them will be a consolation for you as you start replacing the false and insincere friends with new acquaintances, new ways of looking at things, and a different outlook. A remarkable journey is just ahead. You got this.
  
• 
  44

  Brothers - Reach Out for a Fine Work!

  by cappytan in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c1ixarr31y.

  they must really be having issues finding brothers to slave for the org..

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tapioca

  O.M.G. I cannot believe this. The toilet was a stroke.
• 
  27

  Assembly today, Survival Tips and Recommendations Please!

  by Blackfalcon98 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so there's an indoctrination session tomorrow......any tips for getting through with my sanity intact?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tapioca

  Use the time to start your book.
• 
  64

  What triggered your doubts / awakening?

  by Tornintwo in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am sort of new here, used a different username for a while but things got 'difficult' at home so i've since been lurking.... what i would be really interested to know, if you don't mind sharing, is what it was that triggered your doubts and initial research which led to awakening, was it a bad experience, injustice, changed doctrine?

  for me, it was seeing mistreatment of young ones in the congregation, they're under so much pressure and as soon as they go even slightly astray they are shunned, either informally (as bad associations which pushes them further into the 'world') or formally - with elders dying to throw the book at them so they even lose their family.... ...then reading about child abuse issues in the press.... ...which led me to silentlambs.

  ...then jw facts, this forum and coc, wham!

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tapioca

  Two main things: First, I had kids and felt like you, Torn. There was a lot of mistreatment of JW children that I observed and experienced (born-in 3rd gen). Second, I got a copy of COC and discovered that not only did the organization get it wrong on many documented occasions, but you could disagree with the org without being disagreeable. I was struck by the even-toned narrative of RFranz who highlighted the most distressing events without devolving into a rant. I'm not that good. I've taken some minor "stands" with my family, but they know my temperament and generally try to de-escalate the situation. Most all of my family on both sides are still in. It makes me sick.
• 
  11

  Wife just went to circuit meeting

  by menrov in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hi, for a couple of months now.

  i stopped (after some 17 years) visiting meetings etc.

  my intellect and conscience could not longer stand the lectures from the platform and in the magazines.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Tapioca

  If it is truly your view that the woman should submit to your wishes and not doing so is disobeying/disrespecting her husband, then I suggest you spend some more quality time with that "intellect" and "conscience" you mentioned. You cannot choose to liberate her from the borg by using the tactics the borg uses to treat women and children like slaves or worse.