Posts by Mimilly

5

MS Meeting

by Valis in

jw
friends

and this little piggy went in service..... .

sincerely, .

district overbeer

By the pricking of my thumbs....

by Xander in

...some ancient wisdom this way comes?

pulling over from another thread.... i'm curious how many have dabbled in witchcraft/spiritism after leaving the jws.

or, perhaps, before joining.. i'm curious what experiences have been had.

Xander, thanks for starting this thread! I have had many experiences with 'sensing' spirits, or meeting someone I already know, and being given information while I was overseas that couldn't be explained via the judeo/christian doctrines. For a week I was sensing something wrong back home. I was just studying at this point, but tried to shake it from my head nonetheless. It wouldn't go away. I woke up screaming from dreams of my mother in a coffin and finally called her. She said nothing was wrong - but I told her I could 'feel' it.. so she might as well tell me. She had cancer and was going in for surgery. I made immediate arrangements to fly home with my 1yr old daughter to be with her. Mom was skin and bones. I'm happy to say that she survived two breast cancer operations and is still going strong. There was also a time when her and I went on a road trip with my 2 young girls. Mom has severe asthma, and stopped breathing between exits. I got lost tearing into a town (I'd never been to the town before), and all of a sudden screeched the car into a driveway, ran into the house screaming 'I need an ambulance!'. The ambulance was right next door, (no sign or ambulance visable) Her lungs were 3/4 full and the docs said that another 10 minutes she would've been dead. My mom also saw my brother after he died, three times. I'm not superstitious. But I believe there is definitely something to these events.
To those who left websites to check out - thank you, I definitely will. I enjoy learning.

sunbeams, moonbeams and everything magical,
Mimilly

3

Hitting Rock Bottom

by gold_morning in

i am sure we all have been hurt by being so devoted to the organization.

usually there is one instance that sticks out in your memory forever as your lowest time.

either while still active or after leaving, via falling away or disfellowshiping.

Mimilly

Even though I had my dislikes about the hypocracy I saw, I too kept believing they had the truth for awhile. The recordings of the borg are so intrenched that any semblance of 'normal' life seemed impossible. I had panic attacks, nightmares, arguments going back and forth in my mind re: truth vs reality. My migraines exploded. I wrote this during that time:

My heart is the thorn upon a rose
Hiding beneath the foliage and petals
Dagger sharp from remembering all
The times the beauty was plucked and then discarded

My mind is a state of revolutionary war
A holy war, wondering which belief is right
Thoughts running for safety upon sensing the enemy
Shrapnel being detonated between the left side and right

My body is statuesque, a layering facade
That keeps this war hidden so that no one can see clearly
When a thorn is my heart nor the holy war of mind
Nor the leaning tower of Pisa that is mine own insanity.

The borg rips our insides out, emotionally - which affects us physically, and has us upside down spiritually. There were many days I didn't think I would live through. I'm glad I stuck it out and can finally see the light of day. They definitely throw you into a place where you feel 'insane', which seemingly 'proves' that they're right about what happens after being Df or Da.
For those of you going through this now, don't give up. Draw that line for yourselves. All the confusion and pain is your spirit cleaning out the garbage we were force fed, and then healing comes.

sunbeams, moonbeams and everything magical,
Mimilly

5

Classy things to say when you're stressed:

by Mimilly in

jw
friends

i take it back.

unfuck you!!!".

"you say i'm a bitch like it's a bad thing?!".

Mimilly

1. "Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!!!"

2. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing?!"

3. "How many times do I have to flush before you go away?"

4. "Well this day was a total waste of make-up"

5. "Well, aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine?"

6. "Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after."

7. "Do I look like a fucking people person!"

8. "This isn't an office. It's HELL with fluorescent lighting"

9. "I started out with nothing still have most of it left"

10. "I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me"

11. "YOU!!... off my planet!!!"

12. "Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose"

13. "Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control"

14. "Errors have been made. Others will be blamed"

15. "And your cry-baby, whiny-assed opinion would be...?"

16. "I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years."

17. "Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."

18. "Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed"

19. "Do they ever shut up on your planet?"

20. "I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable"

21. "Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to
sleep yet"

22. "Back off!! You're standing in my aura."

23. "Don't worry. I forgot your name too."

24. "I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?"

25. "I work 45 hours a week to be this poor."

26. "Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it."

27. "Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."

28. "Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality"

29. "Chaos, panic and disorder... my work here is done."

30. "Ambivalent? Well yes and no."

31. "You look like shit. Is that the style now?"

32. "Earth is full. Go home."

33. "Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?"

34. "I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."

35. "A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth."

36. "You are depriving some village of an idiot."

37. "If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.

28

Why the hell do I have this pathetic life?

by Nicolas in

i' so tired of this.

sometime, i'd just like to say goodbye cruel world but, it would be too easy to do this.

when i was in the borg, they were telling me that when someone go out of the org, he have a lot of problems and that's exactly what happen to me.

Mimilly

Hi Nick,
You are in the perfect place with this board. You are among people who have been where you are, or are where you are right now in your life. I too went through a social phobia. I went to several therapists - but I would suggest that if you take that route again, to find a therapist who knows what they are doing as regards religious brainwashing/deprogramming. Others just don't understand. Try to remember that those thoughts you are having are tape recordings in your mind. That's what the borg does best. When you are having those dark moments/days/weeks... reach out to anyone here who has offered help. You definitely are not alone. What you need to do now is re-learn how to live and accept the fact that you deserve to be happy and feel happiness without guilt. I too offer my email if you need to vent, etc. I also have MSN and Icq. I've two emails: [email protected] and [email protected]
Take care of yourself Nick, and again, this is a great place to be. I wish I'd found it sooner.
Hugs, Mimilly

35

preventing baptism of minors

by og in

jw
friends

here is the situation: my wife is a very faithful true believer (and a wonderful person, i will add, who really wants to do what's right) i have been da'd about a year, and we have 2 children.

our oldest is 13, and really buys into the witness line ( as, of course, i professed to until last summer) and i am fairly sure she is considering baptism.

here is my question: as one half of her parents, is there any legal doctrine that would allow me to prevent her baptism until she is 18?

Mimilly

This was one of my major beefs with the borg. I would go to assemblies and conventions and constantly hear about Jesus being our model to follow, which included baptism. Then I would return home, hear it in the Sunday talks etc., and low and behold, they were - outside of the hall, pressuring parents to baptize preteens. I remember the toll it took on several youths. When I spoke up about it, the shunning began. I was then considered a dangerous person. One youth ended up in the psych ward, and his elder father and mom never came to see him. The boy was 16.
If your daughter really wants to do this for Jehovah and not the borg, point out that Jesus is in fact the model to follow. (They say it enough anyway), so it would be fresh in her mind - then explain why it is NOT good to do this during the great upheaval that is teenagedom. Explain how her heart being devoted to Jehovah is far more important during this time than pleasing men (borg). My heart goes out to her. No one should be pressured into baptism. The borg certainly does not practice what it preaches.

23

Anyone heard of or been through a JW exorcism?

by Mimilly in

greetings, and wow!

did i enter this forum with a biggie.

i've been lurking for quite awhile - with some threads, laughing to tears, and others, reliving those years.

Mimilly

It's frightening, don't you think, that they are messing around with mental health issues and calling them 'possessions'? I for one, did not believe I was demonized, yet was still in the era when I couldn't stand up for myself (I could certainly stand up for others).
My closest friend killed herself because she wasn't allowed worldly help. Heck, what if they toy with someone who is psychotic, delusional?
Those elders who do this sort of thing must be looking for a quick fix and the resulting badge of honor.

13

a new person with a familiar story.....

by sndy420 in

so...i have been involved with jws for 21 years, have a wonderful husband and 4 wonderful daughters( i am so lucky!!!

) and for a year or so have been steadily leaving the org.it didnt amswer my questions or satisfy my needs at first- but then i started to do my own searching and found out alot of things that were just wrong.

my oldest daughter decided to da herself and i knew that i would never turn my back on her.

Mimilly

After my whole-souled decade of devotion to the borg (love that term), the best gifts were a bible not scripted by the society, and the Crises of Conscience book.
It feels wonderful to not have a gazillion books and magazines to study, but to simply pick up the bible and read.

23

Anyone heard of or been through a JW exorcism?

by Mimilly in

greetings, and wow!

did i enter this forum with a biggie.

i've been lurking for quite awhile - with some threads, laughing to tears, and others, reliving those years.

Mimilly

Spender,
They never filled me in on that one. But it included prominent elders in two congregations.
The hospital staff certainly were not impressed, and I was avoided like the plague thereafter - I figure they were scared and/or embarrassed.

23

Anyone heard of or been through a JW exorcism?

by Mimilly in

greetings, and wow!

did i enter this forum with a biggie.

i've been lurking for quite awhile - with some threads, laughing to tears, and others, reliving those years.

Mimilly

Greetings, and wow! Did I enter this forum with a biggie. I've been lurking for quite awhile - with some threads, laughing to tears, and others, reliving those years.
This has it's beginning in my childhood which was nothing but abuse. I buried it, and when it began to surface, I began to cut myself, a self-mutilator of which I am now in recovery. Among other things going on (too much to mention), the brothers decided I was possessed because of this behaviour. I was councelled against getting worldly therapy, and instead, they cooked up an exorcism. 'All' (rings, baby pics of my children, clothes) of my possessions and those of my children were destroyed and several times I was held down by up to 8 brothers at a time while they pushed my 'buttons' and chanted scriptures. (It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize what that triggered) Twice I was rushed to the hospital with two elders in tow (so THEY could give their own version of what happened).
As I have said, I've been lurking here for sometime and realize that the interrogations/following/shunning/rumors etc. seem to have been par for the course for being in the 'truth'.
Hugs to all for the pain and struggles each of you have endured and are enduring. I've been out for a decade. They still haunt me.
For all the posts, I haven't read anything regarding JW exorcisms. Did I just have the misfortune to live in an area where the elders decided to be creative?
Btw, I ended up 'silent', no speech, and was admitted to the hospital where I received real help, which was a calalyst to my knowing I had to get out. They booted me first - oh well.

One breath at a time,
(Mim)illy