Ha ha.... I remember watching George Carlin asking those questions during a comedy special. I was in pain from laughing so hard. He's quite the character.
Mimilly
JoinedPosts by Mimilly
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Just for fun...
by Salud ini know this is not jw related but i thougt it would be fun to get a laugh and a look at how we think.... 44 questions from george carlin.
1. why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?.
2. why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?.
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In search of my birth mother - can you help???
by Billygoat inthis might be a piece of history some of you don't know about me.
i know a couple of you do.
so i'm hoping maybe y'all might have some suggestions in how i move forward.. my mother and father divorced when i was about 4. we lived in japan and my father was granted custody.
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Mimilly
Don't give up! As another poster here said, she is findable. Since everyone has already given you the best leads to take, I just want you to know that my fingers are crossed for you, and my heart goes out to you.
hugs,
Mim -
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"Streetwork" in Rancho Cucamonga
by r51785 inthere they were... three members of jehovah's one true holy earthly organization standing at a deserted corner of the shopping center at the corner of fourth and vineyard.
fifty feet away was a busy entrance to a ralph's supermarket, but they chose to stand in front of empty store fronts.
they were busy in conversation -- with each other.
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Mimilly
Blondie - you nailed it on the head.
I was the good lil dub that could. I used my bible with sincerity and it drove me nuts how they pulled as many technicality strings as possible to make those hours, etc. I did on occasion give in to this so as not to be deemed inactive. The only ones I knew who liked service were those who had delusions of adequacy about their own importance because they had the troof.
I am certain there are many sincere people in the KHs. Problem is that all that pressure makes you do things that harm the conscience. I'm so happy to be out. Reality is far better than the protection of illusions.
LeslieV - welcome! -
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My story: pieces of me
by Mimilly ini've lurked here for some time now, and posted a few times but wasn't going to do this until a couple other sweet members here suggested i do - so here it goes.
to tell my story, i have to go back to the beginning.. when i was 3yrs old, i had a very loving older brother, craig, who was 5yrs old.
while we were out playing on a montreal street one day, a streetcleaner with a hungover driver hooked my brother, dragged him several feet, and ran over him, in front of me.
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Mimilly
I am so sorry about the repeats in messages. My computer froze up. Doh!
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My story: pieces of me
by Mimilly ini've lurked here for some time now, and posted a few times but wasn't going to do this until a couple other sweet members here suggested i do - so here it goes.
to tell my story, i have to go back to the beginning.. when i was 3yrs old, i had a very loving older brother, craig, who was 5yrs old.
while we were out playing on a montreal street one day, a streetcleaner with a hungover driver hooked my brother, dragged him several feet, and ran over him, in front of me.
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Mimilly
outnfree - I did not think that chat was trivial. See what I mean about comparisons? We are on automatic pilot regarding that. Posting my story did open things up, but there are triggers in everyday life. I've learned how (after LOTS of practice)to deal with it. The only way out is through. (you will find me a definite 'quote' person)
On bad days, I pump up the music (Ordinary Day by Great Big Sea is my anthem; Lean on me, and the theme from Friends and 'Alive' by Edwin are my faves) When I find that words fail me (I call this wordlessness), I sit at the piano and the emotions come out my fingers. I have two soulmates in my life who remind me daily of what is important. Tjiske and Diego, my dogs, my best friends, are the ones who taught me unconditional love, the thrill of oozing in a sunbeam, and the poetry of stretching. My cat Beaster, wraps his paws around my neck and purrs into my ear when I'm crying. Even my Siamese Fighting fish, Sushi, makes me laugh when she sleeps in her castle.
I've two treasures for daughters, Beth and Shelene. Watching them grow up with unconditional love and acceptance is a sight to behold. We're extremely close, and those who visit our home love the comfy feeling here. Ppl are encouraged to be themselves here. If yer having a bad day, say so, etc. I consider myself fabulously rich in what is important. While some days I only have the strength to take it one breath at a time, there are others where it's baby steps, then steps. I don't fake it anymore. When I feel I'm in the self-pity mode, I listen to the mp3 'Overcome' by Live - the WTC edition. We learn from each other's experiences; The give and take that leads to healing with time. But please, please everyone - don't minimize your own experiences and feelings. Things can certainly be put into perspective by listening to how someone else coped etc., but be true to yourselves. It's your lives, don't live them for someone else. -
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My story: pieces of me
by Mimilly ini've lurked here for some time now, and posted a few times but wasn't going to do this until a couple other sweet members here suggested i do - so here it goes.
to tell my story, i have to go back to the beginning.. when i was 3yrs old, i had a very loving older brother, craig, who was 5yrs old.
while we were out playing on a montreal street one day, a streetcleaner with a hungover driver hooked my brother, dragged him several feet, and ran over him, in front of me.
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Mimilly
Gosh, I wasn't expecting these reactions, yet thank you for being touched by my experiences.
Matty - you cannot and must not use my experience to justify or deny where you are in your own life. I do not see pain as something that can be compared. I lock horns with the saying 'there's always someone worse off' because pain is individual. We all have different strengths and weaknesses.
When I worked on the ambulance as an EMT, I saw alot of pain - different kinds of pain. Every day was a reminder of how precious life is, and how fast it can all change. I never compared my patients - I learned from them. Those years as an EMT were food for a lifetime of thought. The problem with the WTS is that 'individual' is taken out of the vocabulary and we're taught to compare ourselves constantly to the pioneers etc. They also removed 'pain' and replaced it with spiritual weakness. I loathed that.
I don't hate JWs. I hate the doctrines that allow abuse to thrive. There are good and 'bad' people everywhere. When we stop comparing and start seeing individuals in the context of their own lives, the generalizing will cease - but I'm not holding my breath for that. You have to choose what's right for YOU Matty, intellectually, spiritually and emotionally.
Thank you all for the warm welcome.(I'm way too busy pulling rafters out of my own eyes to be bothered with the splinters in the eyes of others)
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My story: pieces of me
by Mimilly ini've lurked here for some time now, and posted a few times but wasn't going to do this until a couple other sweet members here suggested i do - so here it goes.
to tell my story, i have to go back to the beginning.. when i was 3yrs old, i had a very loving older brother, craig, who was 5yrs old.
while we were out playing on a montreal street one day, a streetcleaner with a hungover driver hooked my brother, dragged him several feet, and ran over him, in front of me.
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Mimilly
I've lurked here for some time now, and posted a few times but wasn't going to do this until a couple other sweet members here suggested I do - so here it goes. To tell my story, I have to go back to THE beginning.
When I was 3yrs old, I had a very loving older brother, Craig, who was 5yrs old. While we were out playing on a Montreal street one day, a streetcleaner with a hungover driver hooked my brother, dragged him several feet, and ran over him, in front of me. It was the single most defining factor in my life. Afterwards, I was given away (that part is blank), and when returned, (never got to go to the funeral), my father blamed me and never ceased telling me that I should've been the one to die. That was the beginning of a lifetime of abuse at his hands. He had already been kicking mom into the ground, causing several miscarriages. He loved knives and sitting on the sofa sharpening his favorite knife while glaring at me as I passed and saying 'There's gonna be blood shed here tonight'. Both mom and I wear the scars, emotionally and physically. It was the era when no one stepped in to stop it. It was merely a 'domestic thing'. He would make every holiday a nightmare. Xmas dinners went down the stairs and presents out in the garbage. Mom couldn't buy anything for me without taking a beating for it - even school supplies. When I was sick, I couldn't disturb 'him' at night, and would often lay in pain until infection would ooze from my ear, and if I was throwing up, I would be dehydrated by the time I could reach my mother. He got pissed if she took me to the hospital. So that was my childhood - fear, stress, walking on eggshells constantly, sexual, physical, emotional abuse, and alone. I ran away from home a month before I turned 16. I lived with my boyfriend's family. I met him when I was 14 and he was 18. (there's a saga to living with his folks that I'll leave out). I got pregnant and they kicked me off the farm. I went to live with my mom, who was absolutly supportive. We moved in with her sister n family until she got an appartment. First hubby n I got married just before our first was born, and then I moved to Germany with him. It was there that I met up with the JWs. New baby, marriage, country, language, no friends, and he was gone for most of the first year on exercises.
I liked that they didn't celebrate holidays, as I had grown to dread them. They 'knew' their bible and could answer my questions. They were friendly. I was hooked. I studied like a good lil trooper. In 1984, our youngest was born, and I had my second c-section. I told the doc - tie the tubes, I'm not going through this again. The elders gave me s**t for that and I wasn't baptized yet. I felt like crap. Looking back, I just wanted to be accepted, part of a family, loved. I was taught NOT to say no by daddy dearest.
We moved back to Canada and I spent alot of effort being a good dub. My closest friend, Starr, was suffering issues that she wasn't allowed to get help for. She took her life, and I found out in a letter after the funeral. (see a pattern here?) We had been posted away from her a year before.
As I raised my children, practicing what I preached was paramount, and this brought me to lock horns with JW doctrine. I hated the cliques, and the falsifying of service reports etc. The deeper I looked, the more hypocrisy I saw. By this time, my witnessing to my husband paid off (haha) and he quit the military one year before retirement. He began beating me. We moved to a tiny town where he worked for Michelin. His mindgames became unbearable. He brought out a rifle. The elders put me and my girls into a 'safe' house while hubby hunted for us. Meanwhile, the elders failed to get my girl's homework, which caused trouble at school, and they also fell for hubby's antics. They had promised a study for me, but it never materialized. Two months into this mess, I started cutting my arms. The elders involved came to the conclusion that I must be demonized and we were moved to an elder's home. I'd previously posted about the exorcism they concocted, which sent me to the hospital two times in an ambulance. They burned and smashed all my belongings and those of my girls. Hubby joined in and burned the baby pics of my girls along with other treasured things. One day, they picked me up and took me to a woman's shelter and told me I had to stay there. I lost it. I didn't 'fix' so I was 'given away' again. (hmmm.. never thot of that until I wrote it). I didn't stay. The owner of the ambulance took us in.
This brings me to the era where they followed me, critisized me for working on the ambulance and living on the funeral home grounds. (they didn't like the owner who was a brother at the time). They lied to me about articles coming out in the WT. I went to another town for my EMT course and was followed. When I got home, my childhood came back to haunt me. During the course I had volunteered for a scenario involving a drug user. I made a mistake and the trainer came at me with a knife. The look on my face made them stop in their tracks, and the trainers put me in the shock position.
Flashbacks became the order of the day. I started to see therapists and the elders didn't like it. Hubby was working overtime to make me 'submissive'. Rumors started going around me, and the congregation stopped talking to me. I was being abused by my boss, but hubby was telling them it was an affair. I was too afraid to speak up. I was alone again. My doctor put me on tranquilizers to deal with the onslaught of elder interrogations. One day, I stopped talking, and signed myself into the hospital. I spent three months there, with only 2 visits from anyone in the congregation. While there, all they expounded on was how well others were doing. During this time, I confided in one elder about the abuse I had at the hands of another in the congregation who 'got off' on my flashbacks. He handled it well. I'd moved before leaving the hospital. I'd also filed for divorce. The elder who handled my confidence, told the original elders to stay away from me for a few weeks so I could get back on my feet. They called the night I got home. They said they'd arranged a meeting that week and that if I didn't go, I'd be df'd. It was the final straw. They were being nosy pervs. I didn't go. They came to my door to tell me I'd been df'd - and I calmly told him that they had df'd me a long time ago in their actions, and quietly closed the door.
After that, hubby told my young girls every single day that I was going to die. He quit his job so as not to pay child maintenance. (that divorce is another story). During this time, I was crushed that I had been abandoned by my 'family' again. It was quite awhile before I came to understand the whole thing was illusion. Since that time, I have remarried. I helped my step-son through the abuse he faced with his former step-mom. The legal problems that woman caused us for 6 years straight broke our marriage. We are now separated, but working it back together. I worked to keep hubby #1 in my girls' lives. That paid off. He is finally a father to them, now that they are turning 18 and 20yrs old. Better late than never. I helped both my girls through nasty drug phases with counselling and very long nights. I'm in recovery from self-mutilation. I tried to kill myself once. I'm ten years out of the borg, and can finally breathe clean air. It took alot to let go of that imaginary family. Though this is certainly novel length - it scratches the surface. I am a person in pieces; my heart holds a graveyard, but giving up is not in my DNA. I feel blessed to have found this site. Btw, I attended Al-Anon and found more spirituality there in two months than I did in ten yrs with the borg.
Everything happens for a reason, and I strive to take positive lessons from even the most negative experiences. I refuse to be bitter. I've become a student of the human spirit, and I now know how to speak up - and I know when and how to say 'no'. I've taught these things to my children. Perhaps my life is all about breaking many viscious cycles in my family. That makes all the pain and lonliness worthwhile. Positive results out of negative experiences.
Thanks for listening. -
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Question about donating sperm.
by ballistic injust a hypothetical question.
what do the witnesses believe about being a sperm donor?
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Mimilly
They would disagree with it, even going as far as to label it adultry.
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Is life really better out of the org?
by sleepy init strikes me that as witnesses most can find many faults with the world and reasons why they want to be no part of it.. things are often exagerated or demonised in the witneses eyes.. does the same thing happen in reverse when you leave the org?.
do we blow things up out of proportion to how they really are?.
are we really that much happier as people than we were in the org?.
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Mimilly
Hillary_step,
I too, love the way you worded that. It summed it all up nicely. What they do is take away your humanity. Being out is far better for me than being in, although there was the usual confused transition phase.
At least now I do things out of wanting to - not being pressured to for the sake of conformity. I've become a student of the human spirit. Variety is the spice of life, and when you look at the borg, they're treating humans as cookie cut-outs. The resulting chaos is due to annihilating individuality and creative thinking. It feels great to be out; It feels great to be able to be myself. Life in the borg was an illusion, good times or not. -
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NOTE TO GOVERNING BODY
by Francois inhave you folks or your agents read and carefully digested the posts in the very recent thread entitled "how many got the real truth from the internet"?.
and it spells trouble for you.. you would be doing the world a favor if you just admitted your faults and disbanded the entire organization.
and given the destruction you've wrought in people's lives over the last hundred years and more, that's exactly what you should do.. but, since there's so much money involved you won't do that until you're forced.
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Mimilly
You spoke for a whole lotta people with that one. Bravo! Standing ovation.