Posts by discreetslave

18

Caught Crying

by discreetslave in

jw
friends

i was reading some ex-jw experiences and i started crying.

a flood of emotions came over me, anger, guilt, sorrow, grief, and fear.. anger over being deceived and betrayed.anger over the stupidity regarding child abuse.

i was abused before being a jw and this is an issue i feel strongly about.. guilt for bringing others into jw matrix.

discreetslave

Thanks Donny. Last night I was thinking about toning down ex-jw stuff. Just tuning in for laughs and when I needed to get JW crap off my chest.

The fight for us part was encouraging.

Thanks Hortensia.

11

Creepiest Illustration of Eve and the Serpent

by Marvin Shilmer in

jw
friends

creepiest illustration of eve and the serpent .

today i uploaded a new short article showing what has to be the creepiest illustration ever by watchtower of the serpent talking to eve in eden.

my article is titled creepiest illustration of eve and the serpent and is available at: http://marvinshilmer.blogspot.com/2011/08/creepiest-illustration-of-eve-and.html.

discreetslave

I thought it was a serpent not a kimodo dragon.

The angel reminds me of perverts who rub up on people on the subway.

Satan looks like the Joker from Batman.

18

Caught Crying

by discreetslave in

jw
friends

i was reading some ex-jw experiences and i started crying.

a flood of emotions came over me, anger, guilt, sorrow, grief, and fear.. anger over being deceived and betrayed.anger over the stupidity regarding child abuse.

i was abused before being a jw and this is an issue i feel strongly about.. guilt for bringing others into jw matrix.

discreetslave

I was reading some ex-jw experiences and I started crying. A flood of emotions came over me, anger, guilt, sorrow, grief, and fear.

Anger over being deceived and betrayed.Anger over the stupidity regarding child abuse. I was abused before being a JW and this is an issue I feel strongly about.

Guilt for bringing others into JW Matrix. Sorrow for those still trapped my family, friends,& sincere ones.

Grief over the time I spent losing my identity. Grief over the loss of my hopes as a JW. I really believed it. My entire JW experience wasn't bad. I really thought I had the universe figured out and I knew what the future held. Before being a JW I wrote poems & essays about a world much like the JW paradise. That's why I took to JW's. They told me my dreams were going to come true. All this is gone so I grieved over it.

Fear of my husband leaving me. I love him so much. I'm crying as I write this line. He loves me but I thought is it enough. As I think of my future and possible careers I keep coming up with ideas that are anti-witness: JW child abuse advocacy, cult recovery, writing a JW/ EX JW self help blog or book, I met an ex-jw who wants to have some sort of JW halfway house for extreme cases I could help her. There is a local Christian outreach program they do excellent charity work,I think about helping them. All these things could cause his family & others to talk in his ear about spiritual endangerment. I fear him listening to them or on his own not being able to tolerate my choosing this path.

While I was crying my husband dropped in to pick up something he forgot. He held me & asked me to tell him what was wrong. I hesitated I told him it may upset him. He said he didn't care if it would upset him he was more concerned with my feeling better. So I told him I had read some experiences and I was saddened I felt the wounds of betrayal were reopened.

His reaction was mixed. He suggested cutting off my bad association with bitter & angry ex-JW's. He can't understand why apostates insist on dwelling on JW's and their faults. If we've left and have moved on we should leave them alone. So he sees being on this forum and the ex-jw sites to be the problem.

So I told him my sadness is more a result of grief for the reasons I listed above. I reminded him he accused me of being callous by seemingly moving on no care for my family or friends of the past 16 years. So here it should be obvious I'm not callous. Then i mentioned my fear of our love not being enough to keep us together. That insulted him. He asked if I thought he was stupid enough to let others opinions ruin what we have. In reply I said I'm not calling him stupid I was just wondering about a legitimate concern. I said as a JW loyalty to Jehovah & the organization come before me. So if my choices regarding a career or a cause are to apostate for him to tolerate he could choose the organization over me. I said my thoughts were more of the worse case scenario not that I believed he would do that. I asked him are my fears without merit? Is loyalty to God's organization not above all else?

He hugged me and said he's chosen to fight for us he hopes I'll do the same. He suggessted cutting out this forum and websites that bring up these feelings in me.

I don't want to cut it out completely I do want to exercise some self control these websites have been like crack. I find myself wanting to check in a lot. I figure it's just the newness of it all. I need variety this includes having ex-jw friends along with non affiliated ones. There are things I can say on these forums I can't with him or others they wouldn't get it.

All this threw my mojo off. Oh well " Tomorrow is another day." Maybe I need to feel like Neo again I'll watch the Matrix again & picture each GB as Agent Smith.

9

Matt 5:5 and the 'meek' again.....

by punkofnice in

on a previous thread watchtower articles were provided that showed the 'meek' were the 144k rather than those who are supposed to live on the earth after the alleged big 'a'.. in that thread the troll 'concernedjw' stated that the wtb$ had changed their thinking on this (no surprises there), to now mean 'earthly hope' dudes.. does anyone have the references from the litter-trash for this or was cjw wrong?.

discreetslave

I found the 06 article funny it ends by saying "Countless millions of meek ones “inherit the earth” in the sense that they benefit from the rule of this Kingdom by Jesus Christ and his corulers."

I could be wrong but that sentence smacks of going beyond what is written?

9

Matt 5:5 and the 'meek' again.....

by punkofnice in

on a previous thread watchtower articles were provided that showed the 'meek' were the 144k rather than those who are supposed to live on the earth after the alleged big 'a'.. in that thread the troll 'concernedjw' stated that the wtb$ had changed their thinking on this (no surprises there), to now mean 'earthly hope' dudes.. does anyone have the references from the litter-trash for this or was cjw wrong?.

discreetslave

*** w06 8/15 p. 6 “As in Heaven, Also Upon Earth” ***
Once resurrected to heaven, Jesus would become the King of the Kingdom. Primarily, he is the meek one who inherits the earth together with selected faithful ones who are resurrected to heaven to become corulers in this Kingdom. (Psalm 2:6-9) In time, this government will take earth’s affairs in hand in order to accomplish God’s original purpose and transform the earth into a paradise. Countless millions of meek ones “inherit the earth” in the sense that they benefit from the rule of this Kingdom by Jesus Christ and his corulers.—Genesis 3:15; Daniel 2:44; Acts 2:32, 33; Revelation 20:5, 6.

*** w09 2/15 p. 7 par. 9 How Jesus’ Sayings Promote Happiness ***
9 Why are the mild-tempered ones happy? Because “they will inherit the earth,” said mild-tempered Jesus. He is the principal Inheritor of the earth. (Ps. 2:8; Matt. 11:29; Heb. 2:8, 9) However, mild-tempered “joint heirs with Christ” share in his inheritance of the earth. (Rom. 8:16, 17) In the earthly realm of Jesus’ Kingdom, many other meek ones will enjoy everlasting life.—Ps. 37:10, 11.

15

Marriage of convenience

by Nickolas in

just a few weeks back my wife and i attended the wedding ceremony of the child of a couple with which we associated in the past.

he and i worked together in the same industrial complex and shared a common interest in antique cars.

i liked the older british sports cars and he liked american steel.

discreetslave

I don't have enough time behind me. I just escaped the JW Matrix. I will say if the past week 2 weeks is an indication of what our relationship will be like even with him still it is far from a marriage of convinience. It was starting to feel like our marriage was that way as a JW but now that I'm free things are so much better. As a JW I internalized a lot but now we're so open. We've really been talking to each other and very affectionate. The only thing we can't share is our worship of God and our friends. I hope for the friend part to change. I need to form friendships with people who have no JW connection and then we can share them.

It has only been two weeks so with the passage of time I hope for one of two things. A)We continue this way or B) he takes the red pill (wakes up from JW).

12

At what point in time did you lose your confidence in yourself?

by sabastious in

jw
friends

that's what the watchtower wants out of you!

your confidence in yourself.. one can be confident about one's profession, or what have you, and still lack ultimate confidence in one's self.. fairly recently i had a personal revelation and felt a connection with something greater than me.

as i headed out my driveway, after the morning it happened, to work i felt an overwhelming urge to call an elder in my old congregation.

discreetslave

My parents (non JW) started eroding mine from very young. Since my teachers said I was very smart my parents wouldn't let me live a mistake down. When I started studying with JW's @ 16 I started to gain my confidence back. I became a witness powerhouse and that was building me up. Then I started having health problems in my 20's which put a dent in my service, so my confidence started to erode again. With that I allowed others opinions to seep in and erode my confidence even further. I was actually told by a few people I'm too happy, I should tone it down. Or the ones who said I should be doing this or that. I let them get in my head and their voices became my voice thus a vicious self defeating spiral downward.

This spring was a rebirth for me. Learning the truth about "the truth" set off a spark that set my confidence ablaze.

25

New rules for talk recordings?

by discreetslave in

i was told this is the new arrangement re recordings made known only to the boe.

can someone confirm this?.

one congregation cd is made of meetings, assemblies & dc to pass on to publishers who want to hear it.

discreetslave

Thanks for the confirmation

If I'd known this I would have recorded the Conv I suffered through.
Any who still attend these torture sessions should record them so they can continue to be posted.

11

Today my name is Neo

by discreetslave in

jw
friends

i saw the matrix for the 1st time last night.

awesome!!!.

it made me relfect on the past month.

discreetslave

I'm a purist and I regret the Star Wars prequels (I kept watching hoping they'd improve.) I'll stop with the first Matrix.

25

New rules for talk recordings?

by discreetslave in

i was told this is the new arrangement re recordings made known only to the boe.

can someone confirm this?.

one congregation cd is made of meetings, assemblies & dc to pass on to publishers who want to hear it.

discreetslave

I remember the article about recordings we make for our personal use KM 4/10.

I was told this is an addition to that and it was made known to the elders & servants in a letter.

At assemblies & conv. every cong can pick up an offcial cd made by the sound dept. This is to be distrubuted in the manner I outlined above. Same with local talks each cong can make one official cd. They are not to be kept indefinately they are to be destroyed later

A ms & elders wife told me & my husband won't say since I'm no longer a JW