losingit: I didn't set out to tell my life story, but, apparently, I almost did. I have been told that I should write a book. Maybe I'll do that someday.
Life's a tragedy and a comedy, eh?
Posts by Mum
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38Please can we all have a go at describing and celebrating our different NEW IDENTITIES, versus our OLD WBTS IDENTITY?
by Fernando inat one time most of us here identified as jws who follow the wbts gb/fds who claim to follow the bible etc.
some of us are journeying to a new identity, others may feel they already have a new identity.. although we likely have gone in many different directions, we share a common past which only ex-members can really understand and explain.
please could we each respectfully share and celebrate our unique perspectives of where we have come from, and where we each are now at on this journey?.
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38
Please can we all have a go at describing and celebrating our different NEW IDENTITIES, versus our OLD WBTS IDENTITY?
by Fernando inat one time most of us here identified as jws who follow the wbts gb/fds who claim to follow the bible etc.
some of us are journeying to a new identity, others may feel they already have a new identity.. although we likely have gone in many different directions, we share a common past which only ex-members can really understand and explain.
please could we each respectfully share and celebrate our unique perspectives of where we have come from, and where we each are now at on this journey?.
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Mum
Pre-JW: Shy little girl with a physical deformity, loved by my grandparents and my teachers, earnest, maudlin, empathetic, did well in school and had a few close friends. Both grandfathers were uneducated country preachers.
Becoming a JW: Dad's boss came to our house about 3-4 years every week for "Bible study." Ignorant hillbilly ("Appalachian American," to be politically correct) self was quite impressed by them and their ability to quote scripture. I idealized them and wanted to be like them. When my dad got a Civil Service job, he stopped the study. Rare association with JW's for about 3-4 years. At age 15, parents decide to go to nearby Baptist church. Jack Van Impe comes to do a "revival," and spends a lot of time warning about Jehovah's Witnesses. My undeveloped teenage brain then saw JW's as the "underdog" and wondered why this rich evangelist felt so threatened by them. Much of his "information" was inaccurate as well, so I thought he was lying. Decided to look into JW religion further. Ironically, Jack Van Impe was the real catalyst for my conversion the the Watchtower "faith."
Being a JW: I started out as a maverick of sorts, in that I became a JW while no one else in my family did. I was lonely, but tried to make the best of the situation. I still hung out with a "worldly" friend from high school, as the JW kids I had previously hung out with were mostly married or moved away. Eventually, I married an elder and moved to another state. Life with him started out unhappily. I actually got ill the first week of our marriage - unheard of! Little by little, I adjusted to my new life, as I had a slavish temperament and had always been very obedient, trying to stay out of trouble. I almost never watched TV, so my husband would come home and turn on the TV because, as I later figured out, TV was where he got ALL information he knew outside the Watchtower system.
In 1972, I had a daughter, and she changed my perspective on the world. I started asking myself if I wanted her to have the kind of life I had. I came to realize she would probably do just as I was doing, and I was creating a doormat life pattern for her. I decided to take some classes at the local university. I was forbidden to do so. I asked family members to borrow money to take two classes. They agreed. There was a fight about it every day. Elders derided me, asking if I planned to "teach English in the New Order" and such nonsense. 1975 had come and gone by this time, and I was waking up to the reality that I might actually live to get old in this world, despite constantly being reminded that Armageddon was just over the next hill, so to speak. I realized that I had become an uptight, mean-spirited person, so unlike the sweet little girl everybody liked.
One day my cousin stopped by to visit. I advised him of my unhappiness and my struggles. I told him I was going to take a year and see if anything changed; if not, I was leaving. He told me I could stay with him until I got on my feet. Well, nothing changed, of course. So I left, aided and abetted by an ex-JW friend and a friend who was still a JW, but was open-minded and saw my unhappiness.
Post-JW:: It was a struggle at first. I re-entered the job marked. Fortunately, there were lots of jobs in the town where my cousin lived. I earned little money, but knew from my wonderful grandmother how to survive on very little.
My friend who helped me get away left the JW's shortly after I did. I went to visit her, and she introduced me to her classmate in graduate school. He and I got married. He was a total contrast to my first husband. He was well educated, thanks to parents who heavily emphasized education. He was in the top one percent of the smartest people I had ever met. He wanted me to finish my degree, so he supported me while I returned to college and graduated! Unfortunately, he had a serious drinking problem that escalated over the years, and it became unbearable to live with him, and we got a divorce.
I am now open to new ideas and am excited about life and its possibilities at any age. I no longer hang back and can talk to almost anyone about almost anything. I have learned to value freedom and opportunity.
I am 66 years old, am studying Chinese, and have a goal of going to China to teach English. More growth and adventure ahead!
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94
just what am I supposed to believe now??
by purrpurr inwhile i'm glad i found this site, it has also crumbled to bits everything i've believed in my whole life.
i feel like the certainty, magic and wonder has gone out of my life.
this has left a huge hole in my soul.
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Mum
Personally, I think we all have to walk our own path and find our own belief system out of our own experiences.
Once I was listening to "Science Friday" on NPR, and they were discussing belief in God. A Jewish Rabbi called in to the show to say that, in Judaism, it is not necessary to believe in God as "a Being," but as "Being itself." Think about that perspective as a starter.
If I were in your place, I would read some books and take some classes. I took college courses in Old Testament Survey, New Testament Survey, Introduction to the Study of Religion, and Psychology of Religion. There are many different perspectives on God and religion. You might want to take a class in the History of Christianity if there is one in your nearest community college or university. In any case, there are books and internet info on the history of the church or any religion. You are like the fly that has lived in the vinegar jar and thought it was the sweetest place ever because you'd never tasted honey. Get out there and taste the honey!
You are embarking on a journey of opening your mind to all sorts of possibilities. You decide.
Best wishes!
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26
Father denies children inheritance unless they quit Jehovah's Witnesses
by Tiktaalik inan article in the sydney morning herald:.
http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/father-denies-children-inheritance-unless-they-quit-jehovahs-witnesses-and-become-catholics-20140810-102egl.html#ixzz39yziuuvf.
"from beyond the grave, father-of-four patrick carroll continued a five-decade crusade to steer his children away from being active jehovah's witnesses and into catholicism.. mr carroll wrote into his will that his adult children were not to receive any inheritance unless they met two conditions: attend his funeral and become catholics within three months of his death.. mr carroll died in april 2012. his children attended the funeral but they did not become catholics and challenged the condition in the nsw supreme court in a bid to still receive their share of his estate.. but justice francois kunc last week ruled that mr carroll was entitled to place such conditions on his will.. the court heard that mr carroll's motivation was not so much about imposing his own beliefs but rather the fact he never approved of his children becoming jehovah's witness.. the court heard that mr carroll did not raise his children as catholics, neither he or they had attended church services when they were young and he did not enroll them in catholic schools.. but when he split from their mother lillian in 1959 she became a jehovah's witness and over the next decade the couple's four children, robyn, paulene, anthony and susan, were baptised as jehovah's witnesses.. mr carroll never approved of "their adherence to that faith", the court heard.. "[lillian's] conversion to that faith enraged mr carroll, who for the rest of his life continued to express his very strong objections to lillian's and the children's member of that faith," justice kunc said in his judgement.. the court was told that all four of his children remain active members of their congregation.. in his will, written in december 2011, four months before he died, mr carroll left more than a third of his estate to his four children "dependent upon them becoming baptised into the catholic church within a period of three months from the date of my death and such gifts are also subject to and dependent my children attending my funeral.".
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Mum
Joan Cetnar was written out of her family's will because she was a JW. She was one of the heiresses to the Kresge family dime store fortune.
Many of you probably never heard of Joan Cetnar or S.S. Kresge. Kresge was the parent company of K-Mart.
Joan Cetnar later left the JW's, but I believe it was too late to claim her share of the family fortune.
If these kids (or adults) ever wake up, there might be much weeping and "gnashing of teeth." Wow!
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36
It's my 25th yr anniversary of freedom
by rebel8 inapproximately 25 yrs ago today, i left the borg forever.. .
thank you jwn/jwd for helping me heal by listening to me.
there are not many greater gifts than freedom..
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Mum
Congratulations! Happy Birthday of Freedom!
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15
Do Jehovah's Witnesses actually HATE?
by clarity indo jehovah's witnesses actually hate?.
hatred (jwfacts).
the direction given in the watchtower goes strongly against christian examples when demanding members hate an apostate.. *.
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Mum
In 1979, I came to realize that I had not become a better person as a result of being a JW, but a self-righteous, judgmental bigot! I had a war within. I determined that I was going to be better, kinder, less self-righteous and judgmental. I was also determined to take care of my mental health issues and educational deficits.
Let them hate me. It's an honor.
On a lighter note, I think apostates should start a business making placards that say "Ex-JW Human Apostates Live Here! JW's, avoid us!" We could sell these to householders who like to sleep in on Saturdays or who generally don't like to be interrupted by JW's. The profits could be used to start an education fund for apostates who wll need to earn a better living when they exit.
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22
Your worst store accident?
by Apognophos inmine: i was walking around a grocery store with one of those snapple iced tea boxes dangling from one hand, looking for the other thing i ran in to buy.
suddenly the flimsy cardboard side of the box came unglued, and bottles dumped out, smashing open on the floor.
a river of iced tea began to run down the aisle.
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Mum
When my daughter was small, we would go to K-Mart fairly regularly. Somehow, she would always get away from me, but I'd find her in the Toy Department. On one occasion, I went to the Toy Dept., but she wasn't there. I started to panic, wondering whether I should stay in the Toy Dept. because that was her favorite haunt, or if I should walk around the store looking for her. Then I heard a voice over the intercom system, saying, "There's a little girl at the Service Desk. She says her name is B-----. Will her mother come and get her?"
I was grateful for her wisdom in finding the right place to report herself "lost," but was my face red!
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Mum
I just finished The Art of Racing in the Rain, which is narrated by the family dog. I enjoyed it immensely. Dogs are wonderful beings.
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70
Is there any good (im serious) in this religion JW
by dugout ini know this has been talked about in the past but im new here..
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Mum
You're right, steve2. It's probably a wash when you consider the harm done to individuals on the inside, especially women and children.
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70
Is there any good (im serious) in this religion JW
by dugout ini know this has been talked about in the past but im new here..
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Mum
It gives men who otherwise would be total losers an "opportunity" to be bigoted bureaucrats in charge of mind-numbed hordes of uneducated, poor, deluded people.
Congratulations, Elders and MS's who, in the real world, could only be nobodies. But, wait a minute!
Come to think of it, it might save lives. Random shootings are almost 100% perpetrated by white males who want to move up in society but lack the education of social skills to do so. JW's can give these potential murderers the illusion that they have achieved something and are big shots.