Posts by Mum

45

can an unhappy married woman vent?

by sowhatnow in

i continue to be saddened by the fact that i am married to such a selfish man.. i want to know if i am the only wife who has no say when it comes to using the house she lives in for activities including other people.. .

let me explain.. yesterday my daugher who is 35 got a new puppy for my grandaughter who is 13. today my daughter and son in law are going to help my uncle at a job, and my granddaughter wanted to spend the day here, my daugher said shed bring her and the puppy over, i laughed and said 'your dad wont have that, ill have to go to your house'.. after all it will 'upset' the 2 cats they will hide all day [like they do anytime someone including my grandchild is in my home] .. i already knew that he would not like it if she brought the puppy over, [weve had dogs so its not like he hates them].

he doesnt care if his grandaughter would have enjoyed playing with the puppy over grandmas house, where she likes to be for a change, and that fact that id like to see what my cats would do when they saw a dog for the first time in thier lives.. maybe id have liked to play with the puppy .. when i said to my husband that my daughter said she wanted tp bring them over he said.

Mum

Hi, sowhatnow. I can relate to many things you said. I've been married twice - and divorced twice. My first husband was a JW, 9 years older than I. As men go, he was top grade. That is, he didn't chase other women, didn't beat me, etc. I find it odd that I have to state how decent he was in terms of what he did NOT do. He was irascible and demanding. After 10 years, I couldn't take the anxiety any longer concerning what I didn't do well enough or what I neglected to do. (Mind you, I was not perfect either, but I was also not demanding and hateful). One time I babysat a sister's toddler daughter so she could take her 4-year-old son to the dentist. I was sternly reprimanded and told that the only reason to babysit would be so that she could go out in service.

Finally, I decided that I could no longer handle the psychological abuse, and I left, moved to the other end of the country. Thank God I was still young enough (32) to start over.

I don't know where you live, but there may be hope. There are state-sponsored programs in some places to help women like yourself build a life of their own. If you choose to get a divorce, I'm almost certain your husband would have to pay you alimony. Your sister might also look into finding such a program. The one where I used to live was through the community college. You're not too old to start over, believe me. Personally, I didn't get what a consider a good job until I was 48. I lived on low wages, but I know how to get along with very little and shop for bargains.

I recommend that you contact your community college and Social Services in your town to find out how you can help yourself.

Venting is fine, but the important part is what you're doing about it!

Best wishes for a better future.

45

HELP ME COMPILE A LIST OF DISCARDED WORDS AND PHRASES from the WTS

by Terry in

jw
friends

in fort worth, texas around 1959. gradually i became aware of the argot.

special, private language).

jw's had these phrases they used over and over again.. upon first hearing, these words and phrases stood out as odd, weird or awkward.. however.

Mum

For a time in the '70's, vacation pioneering became "temporary" pioneering before it became "auxiliary" pioneering.

I've been told that I'm "demonized."

Persons of interest were called "goodwill" or "people of goodwill."

Other JW phrases are "theocratic arrangement" and "willful sin."

21

I'm Shocked The Jehovah's Witnesses Even Allow Their Kids To Go To Mainstream Schools.

by Jehovanomics in

judging by the material that my kid brings home on a daily basis in copius amounts.

everything about everything in elementary school goes against the doctrines of the jehovah's witnesses.

how do jw's expect to make any money if all of their kids are defecting the jw's?

Mum

awake!watcher, welcome to the forum!

I agree with Separation of Powers. Little dubs have to learn to deal with "opposition" and "persecution" for not eating a cupcake!

31

The Hum Drum Lives of Jehovah's Witnesses

by minimus in

jw
friends

boring and useless, a waste of valuable time..

Mum

Being a JW limits one's opportunities to explore great art, great music, great literature, science and math. One is required to suppress his or her gifts and talents in order to conform and recruit new JW's.

Since I have left, I have read many books, including plenty of self-help books, have acquired a college degree, learned about various fields (e.g., law, medicine, engineering) through gainful employment. The world and all its horrors and delights are available to me. My daughter, born into a JW family, never (even as a small child) liked the dub "lifestyle."

When I first became a JW at age 15 (without anyone else in my family), it was a step up for me. I came from an uneducated, unmotivated family. My egg donor and sperm donor were abusive, physically and psychologically. I was very fond of the love bombing I got at the KH. I got to go to assemblies, which was so exciting to me because I had never stayed in a hotel at all or eaten out for days on end. I had always wanted to see other places, and being a JW gave me some opportunity on that front. To me, the dubs seemed very well educated and sophisticated, articulate and experienced. As time went on, of course, being a JW was stifling and limiting.

Je ne regrette rien. - Edith Piaf

11

too nice and polite

by Phaedra in

jw
friends

anyone finding themselves being labeled as "too nice" or "polite" after being a lifelong jw and integrating into the "new world" of realistic beings?.

Mum

I don't think you have to be a JW to be "too nice." My grandparents were far too nice, but they wanted nothing to do with JW's, bless them! I consider myself almost "terminally" polite, but I'm working on a more confident, in-your-face attitude.

In fact, I'm pretty sure I was much nicer before I was a JW. I was brought up by my grandparents until age 11, and learned acceptance and tolerance as well as kindness and generosity, qualities that are not well received in the Watchtower world. In fact, this realization was one of the reasons I finally got out of the cult.

41

What do you want for Christmas?

by Hortensia in

jw
friends

it's ok to share your xmas wishes here -- none of us is going to buy you anything, anyway!.

i have a list of books on my wishlist at amazon, some about critical thinking, some about knitting, some about yurok indian basketry.

i wouldn't mind getting any of those.

Mum

I would like a nice grey peacoat like the one I recently gave to charity and now regret (somewhat, mixed feelings), a Red Lobster gift certificate, a long trip to Europe and, of course, world peace. I have so many books already, probably more than I can read in this lifetime. I still want more, so I also want more time for reading.

10

Looking to Move in a few years?

by Still Totally ADD in

jw
friends

my wife and i are thinking about moving to central tn somewhere between crossville and cookeville.

maybe even as far west to lebanon or as far east to hariman.

things have changes so much for us in the last 6 months we would like to live were it is a little warmer with lots of wild herbs for my wife who is a herbalist and for me so i can garden more.

Mum

Hi, STADD. Tennessee is an excellent choice, with some of the most beautiful scenery and kindest people anywhere. I am originally from Claiborne County, Tennessee, on the Kentucky (Bell County) and Virginia (Lee County) border. It is one of the most beautiful places in the U.S. There are several small towns there - Speedwell (my favorite for scenic beauty), Cumberland Gap (a village of fewer than 300 people), Harrogate (home of Lincoln Memorial University), Tazewell, and New Tazewell. The roads used to have lots of hairpin turns, but modern engineering makes driving easy these days. Cumberland Gap National Historical Park is there, too.

If you could visit the area and take a look around, you might fall in love with it!

Best wishes in your search!

14

Has Anyone See The Giver, and If so, Do you Relate It to the Watch Tower?

by jamiebowers in

jw
friends

i just watched it on dvd, and holy cow, i can see so many similarities to the watch tower!

i don't want to give anythng away for those who would like to see it, but i really wish the way it ended was a possibility in watch tower world..

Mum

All high control groups operate the same way. I watched a movie (the title of which I do not recall) about the Mafia and saw lots of similarities to the borg.

59

My own daughter has much suffered; she will get justice in due time.

by TheFadingAlbatros in

just learned today direct from my beloved daughter that she has been abused between 5 and 12 years old by 2 brothers (her own cousins) and 1 family "friend".

she has attempted suicide a few days ago.

luckily she is living and she is not physically injured.

Mum

There are no words to describe how despicable this situation is. My heart goes out to your daughter and all who care about her. I hope no one is telling her that she will "never" be normal again. She needs hope and strength. I pray that she gets through this and is able to build a good life for herself.

30

Funeral for an atheist

by Stealth in

jw
friends

99% of all funerals that i have attended have been the wt version, where they preach about the resurrection into paradise and say little about the person who passed other than they were loyal to jah.

the other 1% catholic for grandparents.. now that i consider myself an atheist, i got to wondering what do atheists plan for when they die?.

if you are a non-believer what are your plans for when you die?

Mum

Donate my body to science. Give my assets (if I have any) to my descendants and donate anything they don't want to charity. Instead of flowers, donate to Shriners' Hospitals for Children, who gave me gazillions of dollars worth of free medical treatment and many positive experiences in my childhood. Invite people to come by and say a few words if they wish to, with no expectations or judgments about whether they do or not. Otherwise, my family is instructed to do what they think best.

At least in death, I may have something to give back to the world.