I'm not sure. I know I had issues with certain things. Once a sister in our congregation got engaged to a "worldly" guy, really a guy who was several levels above most JW's in every way. When word got around that she was engaged, members of the congregation started calling her. I made the obligatory call as well (after all, I was an elder's wife ). Her mother told me later that I was the only caller who was not harsh or unkind. That set me to thinking. Most of all, I knew I did not want my then 7-year-old daughter to have the kind of life I had.
After the Jonestown massacre, there was an article in one of the magazines stating that each person needed to have a strong mind and not be sucked in to blind obedience to unreasonable demands. This was news to me! Obedience was all I had ever learned, not just from the JW's, but from my pathological family as well.
I also recall a moment of clarity when I realized that I had been a better person before I was a JW. There was no escaping it. I knew it was true.
What really blasted me away was that I could no longer bear my life with my JW husband, of being monitored and accused of "thinking" bad thoughts, of being derided for taking some college classes, of fighting every day about what I "could" and "couldn't" do. I was close to 30 years old, and feld I had learned enough from life to make my own decisions. My daughter was watching and learning too much about how to be a doormat, which I did not wish her to be
So I quit my classes, which made my husband happy. Then I started planning my escape. Other dubs actually helped me. They could see I was falling apart without a word from me. One of my friends made my airline reservations using a pseudonym (something that can't be done today). On the day I left, she met me at a shopping center and took us to the airport. My daughter was crying because I didn't tell her because, in her innocence, she would have told her dad and he would have stopped me.
We went to the other end of the country, where I had a cousin who took us in. I got a job right away. This was in 1979, so there was no internet, so I was pretty much on my own. It was not all smooth sailing by any means, but the one important difference was that I had something to look forward to - hope for the future. I could make my own decisions and bear the consequences - as an adult!