Mum

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Posts by Mum

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  31

  Effect of family life (me, wife and young boy) if I am df / da and wife zealous jw

  by Daniel1555 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have a question and hope to hear some experiences of you who went or are going through this situation:.

  actually for several reasons (blood policy, disfellowshipping policy and some more) my conscience is telling me quite strongly, that i should not anymore be a part of that organization.. my wife and even elders know about my doubts (except blood policy).

  however i continue to join the meetings actually just to please my wife and to be together with our baby boy.

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  Mum

  For your child, you must show that you're happy and that you don't feel you have "lost" something. Be sure that, when he is with you, that you are happy and he is having a good time. Kids remember how they felt much more than what they're told or indoctrinated with.

  Your child will not be allowed to have "worldly" friends by his mom. That is where you come in. You need to plan fun activities for him and his friends at school, and/or children of your co-workers. If he is in elementary school, and you have the free time, it would be an excellent idea to volunteer as a room parent. Room parents (used to always be room mothers) plan holiday activities and go to school to supervise holiday parties and similar activities. If your wife objects to birthday parties, you could have "unbirthday" parties. We all have more "unbirthdays," so it gives you flexibility.

  Encourage your child to do well in school, and help with homework. It is important that the child feel secure and supported by you.

  As "head of the household," you have a distinct advantage. But, as jgnat pointed out, it is important to be loving, kind, and understanding with your wife. You once believed as she did, so you give her that freedom. If she needs a ride to the meeting or field service, give that to her.

  Nobody knows what will happen, but I think if you follow all of the advice you've been given here, you'll greatly increase your odds of keeping your family together.

  If you could move to another town or another state, that would take off a LOT of the tension of fading.

  Best wishes.
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  64

  What was YOUR wake-up call before you left the JW´s organization?

  by Mr Fool in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  what was your wake-up call(s) before you left the jw s organization?

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  Mum

  After being a lone JW in an "unbelieving" family, then marrying an elder, I was disillusioned at how things really worked. Even then, I still believed it was "the Truth." What really cut me loose was the fact that my mental health was fading fast and I had to get away. Then it took two years to realize they were not special.
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  19

  if you had a miraculous, unexplained escape from death..

  by nonjwspouse in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  plus you were not baptised but grew up in a jw family, stopped attending or studying for 30 years then attempted to go back for a couple years.

  the attempt had serious negative effects on your marriage, and personality, so you decided to stop all studies etc, for the time being ( over a year).

  but with the full intention to return later and be baptised.. this miraculous, unexplained escape from death was discovered to have occured during this time of complete detachment from studies etc.. what would you feel explained this escape?

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  Mum

  First and foremost, I'm glad you're both well and still together.

  When I was a JW, I don't recall things like this being a "sign" of anything. JW's are not great believers in "miracles." But, even as I say this, I do remember certain things attributed to "Jehovah," but not usually regarding the health of individuals. BUT, there was a story in the Watchtower back in the '70's about a toddler who needed a blood transfusion, but the child was kidnapped from the hospital by JW's and hidden in private homes. The story was that she did very well without the blood transfusion. I don't know now how much truth there was to the story, but I believed it without question at the time.

  Each individual attaches meaning to things in their own way, and it's hard to know what you would do in a given situation. I wish you both the best.
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  75

  the final fall of metaspy

  by metaspy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  and so it goes....

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  Mum

  I'm glad you did what was necessary to get help. Thank God you're okay.

  Keep in touch.
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  85

  Most Awkward, Embarrassing, Comical things you Experienced as a Witness ?

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  many of us i'm sure experienced embarrassing or comical moments as a witness.

  some things we'd rather just forget , i'm sure, but some things helped us think on our feet, quickly in helping others .

  here are a few of mine.

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  Mum

  When my daughter was about six years old, we attended an assembly in Cincinnati, Ohio. We had a sister staying with us in the room, and things were hectic getting ready to go to the stadium. My daughter was about 6 years old and accustomed to dressing herself, as I had a philosophy of teaching her to do for herself according to her capacity.

  Everything went fine. Everyone got a shower, got dressed, loaded up bookbags, and piled into the car.

  We got to Three Rivers Stadium, which was fairly new at the time, and I was happy a glad to be there.

  We were climbing steps to get to our seats, me holding my daughter's hand, while the sister accompanying us was walking behind us.

  Imagine my surprise when the sister told me that my daughter wasn't wearing any panties!
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  10

  Casting call for JW reality show...

  by Newly Enlightened in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  i don't know if this is legit or not:.

  http://www.realitywanted.com/call/26136-casting-for-former-jehovahs-witnesses-for-new-docu-series#.uhyvdrtna1s.

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  Mum

  They only want people between the ages of 19 and 29. We geriatrics (over 30!) are not wanted. This is blatant age discrimination!
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  25

  Message for "Outlaw"

  by gma-tired2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  outlaw just had to let you know that you have often brightened my day by my reading your funny posts and your laughing dog.

  thank you gma-tired2.

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  Mum

  Outlaw, what you do, getting us to laugh at the pomposity of the WT and their GB, is the best thing you could do. I saw Mel Brooks on TV once talking about the play / movie, The Producers. He made the point that the thing that would hurt Hitler most would be laughing at him, which that play makes everyone do. Narcissistic pompous autocrates HATE to be laughed at!

  Keep up the good work!
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  24

  can anyone decipher cora's comment on the aawa video?

  by friendaroonie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have asked several people what she says as th e second person to talk in th e v ery first aawa video.

  it sounds to me like "they tear off armours from us.

  " or they tear of arms for us.

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  Mum

  Okay, this thread has turned into a rantfest for ablebodiedman. I, too, do not have the time to spend watching those videos. I just want to make some points clear:

  If Jesus said he had not brought peace but a sword, or whatever, I think he could have been referring to the fact that there would be family members and friends who disagreed with his followers. Did he say they had to be shunned.

  When he said not to even eat with a man who was a liar or fornicator or other behavior-based avoidance, I totally agree. I don't want people who do those things around my family. He was not talking about shunning people because they disagree with some autocrats in Brooklyn, New York, and were ordered to obey such autocrats, even if the autocrats tell them not to speak to their own children.

  If anyone is shunned, it does not mean you don't say hello to them when you see them on the street. It means that you do not want them in the presence of your children and family because of their behavior. For example, in Nevada there is a law against smoking within range of a child who could breathe in the second-hand smoke.

  If Jesus wants me to reject my own children because the autocrats in Brooklyn tell me to, then I can live without Jesus, too. However, I don't think Jesus had any such thing in mind.

  I refuse, under any circumstances, not to be there to help my children, even if they've done wrong. I'm repeating myself. Time to shut up.
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  59

  Was Your Leaving The Witnesses A Very Gradual Process Or A Quick One?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for me, it took many years.. even when i would read all the changes over the years from the "truth", i still would ignore it and "wait on jehovah" and try to be a positive force in the congregation.. eventually, i just couldn't take it anymore and resigned as an elder, and slowly but surely made my fade.. what about you?

  were you out, in a short or longer time?

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  Mum

  I'm not sure. I know I had issues with certain things. Once a sister in our congregation got engaged to a "worldly" guy, really a guy who was several levels above most JW's in every way. When word got around that she was engaged, members of the congregation started calling her. I made the obligatory call as well (after all, I was an elder's wife ). Her mother told me later that I was the only caller who was not harsh or unkind. That set me to thinking. Most of all, I knew I did not want my then 7-year-old daughter to have the kind of life I had.

  After the Jonestown massacre, there was an article in one of the magazines stating that each person needed to have a strong mind and not be sucked in to blind obedience to unreasonable demands. This was news to me! Obedience was all I had ever learned, not just from the JW's, but from my pathological family as well.

  I also recall a moment of clarity when I realized that I had been a better person before I was a JW. There was no escaping it. I knew it was true.

  What really blasted me away was that I could no longer bear my life with my JW husband, of being monitored and accused of "thinking" bad thoughts, of being derided for taking some college classes, of fighting every day about what I "could" and "couldn't" do. I was close to 30 years old, and feld I had learned enough from life to make my own decisions. My daughter was watching and learning too much about how to be a doormat, which I did not wish her to be

  So I quit my classes, which made my husband happy. Then I started planning my escape. Other dubs actually helped me. They could see I was falling apart without a word from me. One of my friends made my airline reservations using a pseudonym (something that can't be done today). On the day I left, she met me at a shopping center and took us to the airport. My daughter was crying because I didn't tell her because, in her innocence, she would have told her dad and he would have stopped me.

  We went to the other end of the country, where I had a cousin who took us in. I got a job right away. This was in 1979, so there was no internet, so I was pretty much on my own. It was not all smooth sailing by any means, but the one important difference was that I had something to look forward to - hope for the future. I could make my own decisions and bear the consequences - as an adult!
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  75

  the final fall of metaspy

  by metaspy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  and so it goes....

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  Mum

  You are not alone. Reach out to someone you trust on this board. We want to help you.

  Some years back, I lost my job to a not-very-competent woman who seduced my boss, was thrown out of my home (with my 19-year-old daughter and my 2-year-old granddaughter) by my then husband, had to have major surgery, had to work 2-3 jobs to survive, and I made it through.

  You can, too. Take one day at a time. Get things into perspective. Call a suicide hotline. Have a few drinks to get relaxed. Save yourself! You are irreplaceable.