Welcome to the board!
Great questions, really great questions.
It's only natural after waking up and learning the truth about "The Truth" (TTATT) that you feel lost and confused.
Someone once said on here that the WTBTS is good at creating athiests. After all, we were convinced that all other religions are false, once we learn that JWs are false too, what's left?
But that once again if a false dilemma.
Ultimately we all need to figure it out for ourselves.
I know for me it took about a year to rexamine my beliefs. It was a long and sometimes painful process. I felt like I had to pick up each and everything I thought I knew and re-examine it to see if I still believed. It was pretty amazing how much ended up in the ash heap.
When I was done I realized that I pretty much only still believed the things that I believed before I became a JW! So after more than two decades "studying the Bible" I hadn't really learned anything! Or had I?
I learned that I had to rely on myself and that I could not trust anyone else to be the source of my "spiritual enlightenment."
“Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it.” – Voltaire
I learned that discussion and debate are good. I learned that there are a great many people that are wonderful, happy people living fulfilling, meaningful lives and they are NOT JWs!
I learned that I can make friends that love me for WHO I am and not for WHAT I (pretend to) believe.
I learned that I am going to be OK, and so will you.
00DAD
PS - Now it STILLHURTS, but it won't forever ...