I need some advice please!!! I'm torn on what to do.

by Gojira_101 34 Replies latest jw friends

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  Gojira_101

  This morning I woke up thinking about a friend of mine, I will call her Sara...here's some of the back story.

  We grew up together and have always been good friends, even though we wouldn't stay in touch, we would just pick up where we left off. Sara has always been different, and I never really knew what it was growing up, but I didn't care, she was my friend. So we lost touch for many years and then about 4 yrs ago when I went back to my home town, we reconnected. And right away I realized why she was different, I suspected she was lesbian. She dressed like a boy, she said how she hated to wear dresses, she even had a voice like a man, and other things.....After 25 years had never had a boyfriend...So I kept my opinions to myself, and I really didn't care if she was gay or not.

  Two years ago when I went back to the town I grew up in I ran into Sara's mom and she told me Sara was DF'ed, since I was still a Borg..it was my typical response. Later I found out from another friend of mine that Sara was a lesbian and was living with a girl.

  So my dilemma right now is, should I reach out to her? I know she's on facebook, and I'm just not sure if I should "try" to make contact with her and tell her I don't care if she is Df'ed or just let it go? Knowing that her family and all of friends are shunning her, I want her to know I'm still her friend.

  Please help!!!!

  G
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  Yan Bibiyan

  "Lesbian", "DFd", "living with a girl" should have no bearing whatsoever on how you feel about a friend. Your post seems to show that you like her just the way she is.

  Contact her and show your unconditional friendship without mentioning any of the above. She will hopefully feel the genuine love and if the subjects come up you can reassure her that it makes no difference to you.

  Sara is very lucky to have such a friend.

  Good luck.
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  AnnOMaly

  Say 'Hi. Nice to see you on FB.' Ask her how she's doing.

  Don't mention her DFing or her sexuality (hearsay) - let her bring it up.
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  NomadSoul

  What makes you think she needs reaching out? Sounds like she's doing just fine.

  A real friend wouldn't be "torn" about contacting another friend.
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  trujw

  Yes 100 percent I would get in touch. Since some are still mentally in even though they are disfellowshipped maybe wait a while to tell her the ttatt
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  punkofnice

  So my dilemma right now is, should I reach out to her?

  Sure, why not. Who cares what her sexual orientation is? I have plenty of gay friends. They're just people. Part of the human race. Who cares who they prefer to love?

  Just because a person is gay doesn't mean they want sex with everyone who is the same sex, the same way hetero's don't try to bed every person of the opposite sex they meet.

  Love her unconditionally as a human being.

  I might be barking up the wrong tree here........

  At the end of the day it's your desicion.

  I know she's on facebook, and I'm just not sure if I should "try" to make contact with her and tell her I don't care if she is Df'ed or just let it go?

  What's stopping you?

  Knowing that her family and all of friends are shunning her, I want her to know I'm still her friend.

  Go for it and let us know how you get on.....if you want to reconnect with her.

  Your choice. I can't make it for you.
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  jgnat

  Sure, get in touch. Recall a shared memory from childhood and let it develop from there.
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  gma-tired2

  Reach out to her once a friend shoud always be a friend. Sex orientation is not a life style choice you are born that way. PS my son is a exJW Gay
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  Comatose

  Reach out and don't say you don't care about dfing in first msg. Let her tell you, then say you don't care and want to be friends.
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  Gojira_101

  Just to clarify, I'm not asking if I should reach out to her because she is gay. I don't care.....I'm coming at it from the JW said of it...even though she is gay and Df'ed she still could have the mind control, and in reality even though she left, she still is under the influence of the mind control.

  And when I said reaching out to her, I mean in just trying to see if we can be friends again...because I am an apostate now....and she still might think the WT has "the truth"

  Sorry for the confusion, I haven't had my coffee yet.