Angst,
I have dealt with the same thing for my entire life. '3rd generation', 'raised in he truth', pioneered, was a servant, etc. etc, etc. I drifted off locally, then left & moved cross country. It didn't stop my Rutherford-ite father, who is also 'hell on wheels'. My mistake there was giving anyone near my father my address or phone number.
I have done the yelling thing, I have done the ignore thing, I have done the polite listening thing (same as yes mom, no mom). You are right: the polite 'listening thing' says yes to them and they start asking 'when...'.
After 23 years of this abuse, I simply stopped talking to him. (23 years times 1 phone call every 2 weeks = 23 X 26 or 598.) He refuses to admit that he has harassed me 600 times!!! BTW, the scripture says forgive your brother 70 X 7 (=490 times). I have discharged that scriptural obligation in spades!!!
OK, how is the not answering working??? He has redoubled the efforts to contact me. His letters were simply chiding and asking why and sug-gesting that I return. Now they are taking on threatening overtones.
He has also sent people to look me up. These people are uninvited and surprise me and it is embarrassing to explain that they have been lied to and tricked.
Yes, he lies. One of his favorites is 'my son can't find the KH!!!'
Nothing seems to get through the 'selective hearing'.
It seems that I have been HARASSED, STALKED and certainly MY CIVIL RIGHTS HAVE BEEN VIOLATED.
Unfortunately, as the previous paragraph indicates, this seems to be heading toward a LEGAL approach. This is distasteful enough that most people here (this discussion board) shy away from legal thoughts.
I have been considering some things on this site about STALKING, but have not fully evaluated it:
http://www.soshelp.org/
I have developed legal approaches of my own. Unfortunately, a legal remedy may be the only real answer.
Mustang