:D I always love these things - here was my application ...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Monday, June 25, 2001
Time: 1:29 PM EST
Submitted to: Sister Soup ( [email protected])
Subject: Sister Soup Registration Questionnaire
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
required-visitor_name: Juge Rutheford
required-Preferred username: Da Judge
required-Username(s) used elsewhere: Da Judge
required-visitor_email_address: [email protected]
required-City, State, Country: Heaven
required-Congregation: The One True
required-Congregation Location: Heaven
required-Regularly attend meetings: Jesus has us over for dinner each night
required- What times do you attend meetings?: Time has no meaning here
required-Date baptized: June 15, 1912
required-Are there any congregational restrictions?: Only when I was in jail for preaching
required-Are you a regular publisher?: I direct all 800 billion hours a year
required-What should all Witnesses carry with them?: A big stick for beating up Apostates
required-What book are we studying at bookstudy?: We don't study books here
required-What is theYeartext for 2001?: We don't have yeartexts here
required-What is title of this weeks Watchtower study article ?: Since we already have all the 'new light' up here already we don't need WT's
required-What are the new auxilary and pioneer hours?: New kings & priests must go to Bethel for 2 years to watch for and punish homosexual behaviour - ever since Knorr showed up here
required-Two books currently being used at the Theocratic Ministry School: See above about the WT's - we already know all the 'new light'
required-Last article in current Kingdom Ministry?: Stay off the Internet !
required-Why is being a servant of Jehovah important to you?: When on earth I got to stay in my, oops I mean the mansion I made for Daniel, David, and the judges, but since they didn't show up in 1925 like I said they would I just stayed there anyway. Watching people shiver in my presence was always a hoot. Yelling at people was really fun too. A good cigar and a few beers each night was always nice. Now that I'm running the show up here (I kicked that wacko Pastor Russel out when I got here - can you imagine having that fruitcake running the show? I mean, that whole Pyrimed thing alone, sheesh!) things are going well. I've got 6 million weirdos who jump at my every 'new light' I send. It's fun making them beleive new things, then not beleiving it, then going back to beleiving the same thing again! What fun!
required-Are you a faithful sister in good standing?: Opps, I'm not one, but I always enjoyed their 'company' if you know what I mean!
required-How did you find Sister Soup?: Please, I know everything!
Additional comments: Not really, except that 'Real Soon Now' I'll be down their to kick everyone's ass - unless they think just like me. Which means you better fire up your cigars and start drinking more beer - cause prohabition is a tool of Satan!