Reading some of your comments reminded be of a few other gems that I used to hear:
8. At conventions, don't eat a heavy meal at lunchtime or all the blood rushes to your stomach and you'll fall asleep during the afternoon program. However, Awake! says if you have insomnia, don't eat a heavy meal before bedtime or you won't be able to sleep.
9. Circuit overseers used to say, people who put "No Jehovah's Witnesses" signs on their doors are not being taught by their churches to defend their beliefs. However, the Governing Body says "don't talk to apostates."
10. The Watchtower says that "true" Christians do not adhere to non-biblical superstitious practics such as avoiding black cats or walking under a ladder out of fear that something bad will befall them. However, Jehovah's Witnesses adhere to the non-biblical belief that celebrating birthdays will somehow lead to something bad befalling them.
11. The Watchtower says that Christians are not under the Law of Moses and blasts the Pharisees for taking portions of that law and twisting it, in an effort to get people to do their bidding. However, the Governing Body hierarchy is often stating that Christians must follow the "principals found in the Law of Moses," thus giving them license to make up laws just like the Pharisees.