Imagine if Bernie Madoff, the worlds biggest Ponzi scheme architect stating "Someday,.. the authorities will come after me and make claims about the way I conduct business and will try to stop me from doing what I do" and when this happens it will prove that I was correct in making this statement and this will shore up your belief in me"
This works on those that that have not done their research on Bernie Madoff.
Also sometimes a persons belief in whether the wtbts is backed by a supreme being does not flip over instantly. It can be a transition. Sounds like your somewhere in there moving toward figuring it out but still have some residual cobwebs that need to be rooted out. I think most of us have/had a little bit of "what if"