I WANT, so badly, to believe in a God... and I keep looking for shreds of evidence that he exists (or if he does exist...that he cares about us). No, I can't tell you where the universe came from...but neither can you tell me where God came from!
I know EXACTLY this feeling. I call it the Mulder effect.

How did you cope knowing that there was no eternal reward? No afterlife? How do you view your life now? Do you live your life differently?
Honestly, man, when I was waking up, I was having very scary suicidal thoughts. Wanted a quick trip to paradise. Convinced myself that Jehovah would forgive me because he's a reader of hearts and he knows what I'm going through.
Once I let go of the belief in God, I started to feel much more centered and treasured the little time I had left on this planet. It's hard to let go of. For a few weeks I had nagging doubts that I was being stupid.
But eventually a calm and peace set in.
I realized that I couldn't definitively know if there was a God or not. I did know that there was no evidence of God. So, you have to be okay with saying, "I don't know." We're trained as Witnesses that there are answers for every question, when that just isn't true.
I also realized that in the extreme remote and unlikely chance that there is some kind of God, what better motive for being a moral person and treating my neighbors and earth with love and care could there be than doing so because it's what you WANT to do? Surely, being a moral person because it's what you WANT to do is a far better motive than doing it for some reward or out of "fear of God."