No one can tell you what to do. You and you alone know your wife better than any of us.
Have you prepared yourself for what might happen if she leaves you/asks you to leave? Are you ready to make that sacrifice for your freedom?
I wasn't when I approached my wife. I lucked out because she didn't react that way. But I wasn't prepared for the worst. I don't know what I would have done.
Approach it calmly.
You know much of my story, since we were already communicating when I talked to the wife.
But, I'm going to share it for the others that may be contemplating the same things.
I came home from work one day, distraught from having another day's productivity ruined because I couldn't keep my mind off of TTATT.
My wife, cooking chili or something on the stove, said, "Bad day?"
I said, "Yeah. I'm stressed."
I decided to just talk to her about it. "Honey, there's something really serious I need to talk to you about, but I don't want you to freak out. I'm not cheating on you. Nothing like that. But it's very serious and as my wife, you deserve to know what I'm going through."
She said, "Okay, what is it?"
I spilled my guts about a bunch of stuff. 607, 1914, how I didn't believe this was God's organization, and I didn't know what to believe anymore. But before I got into all of that, I started with an illustration. In a former job, I used to work in the hunting and outdoor industry. I asked her what would she think of me if I were secretly a card carrying PETA member, but outwardly I worked for the hunting job because it provided for our family and our entire family and all our friends worked in the industry? Would she want to know how I felt?
She said yes.
I then said, "I have some doubts about the organization." Then I laid out my major issues.
She didn't (outwardly) react negatively. Tried to laugh it off, saying she had doubts sometimes too.
I didn't know this at the time, but recently she admitted to me that she was panicking on the inside, extremely upset and broken hearted. She said that she couldn't sleep that night and cried most of it.
She was hoping it was just a phase I was going through and that she could help me with my spirituality.
Within 4-6 weeks, though, she was fully awake.
I don't regret talking to my wife about it. But I was very close to losing her. If it hadn't been for that PBS Newshour story on Candace Conti, she would still be all-in with the organization.