Posts by cappytan

9

"Dead man walking", my resurrection

by MissFit in

as a jw, did you ever just resign yourself to being destroyed at armageddon because you knew you werent worthy?.

for almost half my life i felt like i was under a death sentence- "a dead man walking.

" i was my judge, jury and executioner.

cappytan

MissFit:

What really helped was that years before that, after I left Bethel, I was really messed up mentally.

I got Cognitive Therapy and it helped for a while.

After the incident with the gun I mentioned above, it was a wake up call. I realized I had been neglecting the methods I had learned in Therapy, and started using them again. I recognized what pulled me back from the brink, the thoughts of my children, and just focused on those thoughts every time I felt the darkness creep back into mind. I also had a friend to talk to in confidence who had been through similar issues.

I ended up selling all my pistols so it wouldn't be that easy. (Also, so I could get a new Kayak without spending savings.)

I'm not anti-gun though. Still have rifles and shotguns for hunting. But they're kept in a safe, out of the house, on family property where we hunt, hundreds of miles away.

9

"Dead man walking", my resurrection

by MissFit in

as a jw, did you ever just resign yourself to being destroyed at armageddon because you knew you werent worthy?.

for almost half my life i felt like i was under a death sentence- "a dead man walking.

" i was my judge, jury and executioner.

cappytan

When I was inactive but still believed in the organization, I occasionally struggled with feelings of worthlessness, but never thought I wouldn't make it to Paradise.

I always held a slightly different opinion of Grace. I felt that Jehovah could read my heart, that he knew I was a good person that was imperfect and sincerely tried to keep his righteous standards.

I even convinced myself at one point that if I committed suicide, I could just jump to paradise because "the reader of hearts" knew what I was going through and that the wages sin pays are death, so I would have already paid for my sins. I was moments away from pulling the trigger on my Glock during that dark time. I had the barrel in my mouth. But, all I could think about were my kids. I couldn't leave them alone without my help.

This was all years before I started waking up to TTATT.

Now, my main struggle is that I am seeing the real truth, but the side of my brain that is still hardwired for JW thoughts tries to weigh me down by making me feel guilty and like I am falling victim to Satan.

I'm not saying I don't believe in Paradise anymore. But I certainly don't believe that a God of Love would deny someone entry into a paradise for seeking truth in life.

24

New WTS end date - 2034?

by campaign of hate in

so i already made an introductory thread where i said hello and mentioned my feelings toward 2034 being the wts new end date.. we get the year 2034 from matt 24:37 & luke 17:26. the wt commented on the "days of noah" in a qfr article 2010 12/15.

where its stated: "it is logical, therefore, to conclude that genesis 6:3 expresses gods resolve to end the corrupt system of things on earth.

jehovah issued a judicial decree to do so in 120 years, though noah was not yet aware of that.

cappytan

I wouldn't doubt the GB would go this route. After all, the potential mental gymnastics to come up with 2034 shouldn't be hard for most ~~followers~~ victims to follow...they've been practicing the moves for years with the 607 BS.

In the meantime, 2034 has great significance to me. (See video below.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViKkjSzdwL4

10

Recorded argument with elders trying to DF someone

by Jay Elle in

this video may have been posted here before but it is new to me.

the lingo seems very very famillar with the bullying that the elders give us all.

they want their pound of flesh...but call it loving and theocratic.

cappytan

Perhaps there is some kind of British law that an individual can have web content removed if they claim it is defamatory.

12

Waking someone up using WT Article on "Doubts"?

by cappytan in

has anyone had success in using this article to convince their family member or spouse that critical research of what the society presents is important to build faith?.

this article has this passage that jumped out at me:.

of course, not all doubt is bad.

cappytan

@silent: You're still in at the moment? (I am, personally. Just woke up this past year.)

12

Waking someone up using WT Article on "Doubts"?

by cappytan in

has anyone had success in using this article to convince their family member or spouse that critical research of what the society presents is important to build faith?.

this article has this passage that jumped out at me:.

of course, not all doubt is bad.

cappytan

Has anyone had success in using this article to convince their family member or spouse that critical research of what the Society presents is important to build faith?

This article has this passage that jumped out at me:

Of course, not all doubt is bad. At times, you need to suspend acceptance of something till you are sure of the facts. Religious exhortations to the effect that you should just believe and should doubt nothing are dangerous and deceptive. True, the Bible says that love “believes all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:7) A loving Christian is certainly ready to believe those who have proved trustworthy in the past. But God’s Word also warns against ‘putting faith in every word.’ (Proverbs 14:15) Sometimes a person’s [or organization's] past record gives legitimate reason for doubt. “Although [the deceptive talker] makes his voice gracious,” the Bible warns, “do not believe in him.”—Proverbs 26:24, 25.
The apostle John also warns Christians against blind belief. “Do not believe every inspired expression,” he writes. Rather, “test the inspired expressions to see whether they originate with God.” (1 John 4:1) An “expression,” a teaching or opinion, might appear to emanate from God. But did it really come from him? Exercising some doubt, or suspending belief, can be a real protection because, as the apostle John says, “many deceivers have gone forth into the world.”—2 John 7.
...
Of course, we did not just blindly believe all that we heard. We did what people living in the city of Beroea did. We ‘carefully examined the Scriptures daily as to whether these things were so.’ (Acts 17:11) We ‘proved to ourselves the good and acceptable and perfect will of God’ and made sure that what we had heard was true. (Romans 12:2; 1 Thessalonians 5:21)

Taken from: w01 7/1 pp. 18-21 (Bolded for emphasis and also to highlight my commentary.)

This seems to me to be direct authorization to question and test the doctrines of the Society.

53

Need to vent: Wife just went in full cult mode, huge fight. she is so brainwashed

by goingthruthemotions in

jw
friends

out of the blue my wife started to ask me about my feeling about the borg.

i told her i didn't want to talk about it...she persisted.

she already knows how i feel, i told her that my biggest beef is that they use mind control, and yep she went in to how i was an apostate and how she doesn't want to be married to an apostate.

cappytan

hang in there. Que Sera Sera.

My mom went into cult mode tonight over the phone. [redacted]

She started blabbing about Holy Spirit, and I shut down and just started parroting the party line. Felt like such a hypocrite afterwards.

5

E-mail address of WT usa

by paradisebeauty in

jw
friends

anyone knows the email address of wt usa?

cappytan

I don't know if this address still works, but I have it in my contacts from back in the day.

[email protected]

28

A Mind at War

by cappytan in

right now, i feel like my mind is at war with itself.. on the one side is reason, logic.. on the other is tradition, hope and fear.. reason and logic are challenging life-long beliefs.

they are telling me, "is this any more believable than the story of the lord of the rings?".

certain doctrines of my belief system are crumbling.. my mind still wants to hold on to the belief in a creator, his son jesus and the bible.

cappytan

Man, freemindfade, you're right. This does feel like a detox.

Thanks all for the words of encouragement. I'm using y'all as a sounding board, a therapy. It's selfish to use others, but as Ayn Rand implied, there can be a virtue to selfishness. (Paraphrasing)

23

3rd Gen DF'd finally writing

by AFreeBeliever in

i've been reading many of the postings on this forum for a couplefew years, finally joined today.

i think reading cappytan, and others like that, compelled me to share, it seems i might have a bit of a different outcome than many i have read, perhaps it will be hopeful/helpful to someone.. i was a born-in, 3rd gen jw, my entire family (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and most all of my childhood friends) were in.

some dropped by the wayside as the years went on, but many stayed in, and if they didn't, they still acted/talked as if they believed it was "the truth" and it was their weaknesses/failings that made them stop attending.

cappytan

AFreeBeliever: thanks for your story. It actually is strengthening that there are those here that haven't completely abandoned certain ideals.

I don't know where this rabbit hole will take me.

The beauty of human rights, though, is we have the opportunity to believe and not believe.

I'm looking forward to finding my spiritual center, whether that be based on science, scripture, philosophy or a combination thereof.